More or Les (was Bloody Plurals)

[Hobbit]

I'm back Jack.

I was lucky enough to escape a bit early from work so I made a cuppa and am going to attempt a quick rebus before cooking my bangers.

It's another song...You might find this a bit easy peasy.
#1 #5 #4 #6 #3 #5


Please make a homophone of picture two and then change the first letter.  Please lose the first letters of pictures three and five (gent's surname).  You're not interested in who the gent (I use that term loosely ) is in picture six but what he was and then make a homophone.  One more homophone and please pretend it's all on one line.

     

Getting hungry - must go and cook up a storm 

   

[Ozzyjack]

Hi Pen,

Your post was great.  It doesn’t matter whether I or anyone else agrees with you on any point, it is your right to state your view.  On complex issues, who is to say what is the wrong thing.  Governments are often put in the position of choosing the lesser of two evils, but the lesser of two evils is still evil. 

I thought it amusing that the English use the man on the Clapham omnibus and Australians put things to the Pub test i.e. the average person in the pub.  It is a matter of opinion whether better judgements are made by someone half-smashed than someone completely sober.

I think Labor is making the better promises for the average person but I can make no judgement on their ability or determination to carry them out. 

On the Scottish question, the experts are saying it depends on the hard decisions that would be made after separation including whether to rejoin the EU would determine whether they are better off.

You would have to be a masochist to like the times we are living in now. The question is it going to improve or get worse?  It is my observation that optimists are happier than pessimists, so I’ll join the happy mob.

I have to go out for a while, so I will try for a traditional post later today. 

[auntiemo]

But, is the man on the Clapham omnibus on the bus because he's been to the pub and can't drive home 😊 ?

[Hobbit]

Very true Moyra!  That tickled me 

[Ozzyjack]

Hi Again, Pen

The Cleveland mob’s plane landed about ten minutes ago (9:51 pm).  We will catch up with them tomorrow.

My rebus is a semi-autobiographical book about a Brisbane boy published about 4 years ago.  It has been released with the same name as a mini-series this year.  It has received world-wide rave reviews.

#3  #8  #8

Conceptually one line.

     

Picture 1. Homophone.
 
If needed, I will give a further clue tomorrow.

   

And I’ll leave you with.

[Hobbit]

The Cleveland mob’s plane landed about ten minutes ago (9:51 pm).  We will catch up with them tomorrow.

Hi Jack

I hope the Cleveland Mob had an enjoyable trip to Bali.  Is that two weeks since they went away?  Don't know where the time goes!

I'm completely baffled by your rebus at the moment.  I've got one word (I think)    It's a bit busy here at the moment so I'll carry on with my post (stopping and starting!) and return to it later 
My rebus is a book published a bit over a hundred years ago.  Chances are I've used it before but, hopefully, it'll be different this time.

#3 #4 2 #3 7 (#4 + #3)


Please use three consecutive letters from picture one.    Please lose the last three letters from the first name of the gent in picture two.  You need the first name of the lady in picture three and lose the last three letters.  Please change the first letter of what you have left.  Please lose the first letter of picture five and position is paramount 

          

One day, a fairy visits a lonely widow and says that she is there to give her three wishes.
''I wish I was 21 and beautiful!'' The wish is instantly granted.
''I wish I had a million pounds!'' The wish is granted.
''I wish that my cat here were the most handsome guy in the world and was madly in love with me.'' The wish is granted. The now young lady and her man go inside. They start to cuddle, and the man looks at her. ''Aren't you sorry that you had me neutered now?"

[Ozzyjack]

The extra clue I promised for my last rebus is: The second word is a homograph.  Scientists will tell you word 3 is expanding.  The full answer and the one for Pen’s last rebus are in the spoiler.


Spoiler Alert for Puzzles Between 13-17 Ja.nuary

Puzzles 13-17 January

Date reflects the author's time zone.

[Hobbit]

The extra clue I promised for my last rebus is: The second word is a homograph.  Scientists will tell you word 3 is expanding.  The full answer and the one for Pen’s last rebus are in the spoiler.

Hi Jack

It's a lovely sunny day here but somewhat chilly!  It was -5^oc first thing.  I was very glad not to have to turf out and scrape my car this morning.

How did the Cleveland Mob enjoy their trip to Bali?

I did get your clever and rather tricky rebus in the end    I've had a bit of a hectic day so my offering today is an entry into the easiest ever rebus competition    It's a film from the 1960's.

#4 7 (#3 + #4)


You need the first name of the gent in picture one.  Please lose the middle letter and then change the first letter of what you have left. You need a bit of slang for picture three (I wouldn't tell a porky  } and please pretend it's all on one line.

   

My neighbour across the road who goes by the name of Dave was at Luton Airport the other day.  He heard two men complaining that the pilot was a woman.  Sexists!
He was rather cross and said "What's the problem? It's not like she has to parallel park the bloody thing!"

[Ozzyjack]

Hi Pen,

Yesterday (Thursday) I was busy doing inconsequential things like Poppy napping and binge watching TV so I didn’t get around to thinking about this post until I just woke up (Friday Morning).

The Cleveland mob really enjoyed their 10-day Bali Holiday but as they didn’t get home until after midnight yesterday, they were exhausted. Apparently, it took nearly 3 hours clearing Customs.  They made a flying visit to pick up Ruby yesterday afternoon and to drop off some presents from the trip.    We will be seeing them again today to get more details and to celebrate Ruby’s first birthday.

My Rebus will outdo yours for easiness.  It was a miniseries we were watching yesterday about a brilliant woman.

#7 2 9 (#3 #6)

One line. Position vital. One homophone.



Here is your usual fix.


 

[Hobbit]

Hi Pen,

Yesterday (Thursday) I was busy doing inconsequential things like Poppy napping and binge watching TV so I didn’t get around to thinking about this post until I just woke up (Friday Morning).

The Cleveland mob really enjoyed their 10-day Bali Holiday

My Rebus will outdo yours for easiness.  It was a miniseries we were watching yesterday about a brilliant woman.

Hi Jack

Another cold and bright sunny day here.  The sky is a beautiful blue  Barbs and I had a lovely walk and I've just enjoyed a toasted sarnie for my lunch.

I'm pleased to hear that the Cleveland mob enjoyed their holiday.  What a great pity customs was such a nightmare.  I'm presuming Andrew will be heading back to Canberra soon.  Bet he'll miss the warmer weather and all of you as well.

My rebus today is an expression that Barbs got slightly wrong earlier.  I'm going to do it how she said it 

#4 #5 #4 #5 #4


Present tense for picture two and please change the first letter. Please change the third letter of picture three and the first of picture four.  You need the character on the right in picture five and change the first letter.  One homophone and we're all on one line.

       

A local priest and the verger were fishing in the river on the side of the road in Knaresborough. They had thoughtfully made a sign saying, "The End is Near! Turn yourself around now before it's too late!" and showed it to each passing car. One driver who drove by didn't appreciate the sign opened his window and shouted at them, "Leave us alone, you religious nutters!"
All of a sudden they heard a big splash and looked at each other. The priest said to the verger, "Do you think perhaps we should have just made a sign saying "Bridge Down" instead?"

[Hobbit]

Hi Jack

We're bracing ourselves for storm Isha!  I've just been out for a walk and it's already a bit on the breezy side.  I was glad to get back indoors!

I'm starting my post now but will probably have to stop for my lunch break in about 15 minutes    My puzzle today is a film from the 1980's that I've never seen and don't think I'll be watching it anytime soon as it's not my cup of tea

#6 8 (#4 + #4)#3 #3


You need the first word of picture one.  Please lose the last letter of picture two and re-arrange the letters you have left. Please lose the first three letters of picture three and lob in an apostrophe.  Please change the first letter of picture four and lose the first letter of picture five.  We're all on one line. 

      

Kylie told me that Uncle Blue's dog, Alvie, was a bit crook so he thought he'd take him down the vets.
Blue asked the vet to have a look at him, so the vet picks Alvie up in his arms, examines his teeth, turns him over looks at his paws, throws him over his shoulder and lifts his tail.
When he's done the vet looked at Blue and said "I'm afraid I'm going to have put your dog down."
Blue looked distraught and asked "Why?"
"Because he's too bloody heavy."

On his way home Blue stops at the Pelican Cafe for a coffee.  He was going to have a pint at the pub but thought better of it as he knew Sheila would be on the war path if he did that.
Blue had only just said down when a man at the next table jumped up and shouted "Help! My son's choking! He swallowed a dollar coin. Help! Please, anyone! Help!"
A man from a nearby table stands up and announces that he's quite experienced at this sort of thing.
He steps over with almost no look of concern at all, wraps his hands around the boy's testicles and squeezes.
The boy screams in pain, but out pops the coin.
The man then goes back to his table as though nothing has happened.
"Thank you! Thank you!" the father cries. "Are you a paramedic?"
"No," replies the man. "I work for the Tax Office."

[Ozzyjack]

I'm starting my post now but will probably have to stop for my lunch break in about 15 minutes   

Hi Pen,

Just a quick note between naps to give you your fix of pickles.

It sounds like you are at work today or do keep a strict schedule at home?

This is what I found out about Isha

It will sweep in from the Atlantic, bringing winds of up to 80mph and heavy rain, posing a risk to life and damage to buildings, the Met Office has said. Isha may mean milder temperatures but it comes with yellow and amber weather warnings as a “disruptive spell of weather” hits the country just weeks after Storm Henk.

[Hobbit]

Just a quick note between naps to give you your fix of pickles.

It sounds like you are at work today or do keep a strict schedule at home?

This is what I found out about Isha

Hi Again Jack

I wasn't at work today thankfully!  I don't keep a strict schedule at home but, unfortunately, I'm a dreadful creature of habit   Ideally I like my lunch at about 12.30.  It varies at work between 12, 12.30 and 1. 

You know how much I love my Pickles    What really tickles me is the expressions on the faces of the dog and cat 

I'm a bit trepidatious about tomorrow.  I'm out for dinner tomorrow evening.  My friend Bex (radiographer) and I are going to the Plough at Simpson for slow cooked roast lamb.  We booked it a couple of weeks ago and I'm really looking forward to it.  What I'm not looking forward to is the drive in my dinky little car in the gale force wind.

I'm going to give the little grey cell a small workout then dither over which film to watch with the remainder of my excellent Kiwi sauv blanc.

[Ozzyjack]

then dither over which film to watch with the remainder of my excellent Kiwi sauv blanc.

Hi Pen

I found a picture of Blue taken some time ago.



I guess that means I ought to tell you a Blue story (no pun intended). 

You would be aware we have a cost of living crisis here in Australia.  Well, to make ends meet Blue had to take a second job as a taxi driver.

Last week a clearly inebriated woman, stark naked, jumped into his taxi and laid down on the back seat. Blue opened his eyes wide and stared at the woman. He made no attempt to start the cab.

The woman glared back at him and said, “What’s wrong with you, Shithead? Haven’t you ever seen a naked woman before?”

Blue answered, “I’ve seen more naked women than you’ve had hot dinners and that wasn’t what I was checking you out for.”

The drunk woman giggled and responded, “Well, if you’re not staring at my boobs or fanny, love, what were you looking for?”

Blue paused a moment, then told her…”I was thinking where in the hell is this woman keeping the fare for the ride.”


Here is your usual fix.

 

[Hobbit]

Hi Jack

I've got a few minutes before I head out into the teeth of the howling gale.

Blue was very dishy when he was younger!  As one of my old friends would say 'now there's a man I'd like to spend my pocket money with'   

Loved the Blue story and the cartoons 

Better gird my loins and get on with it.  I'll just concentrate on what's waiting for me when I get there