Author Topic: More or Les (was Bloody Plurals)  (Read 469777 times)

ridethetalk

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Re: More or Les (was Bloody Plurals)
« Reply #7230 on: November 25, 2021, 12:40:40 AM »
@Hobbit - what, no number clues???
The greenest watt ever produced is the one you never use.
When we come out of the Covid-19 crisis, we need to make sure recovery efforts address the Climate Crisis (which can't be solved using social distancing!)
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Hobbit

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Re: More or Les (was Bloody Plurals)
« Reply #7231 on: November 25, 2021, 02:30:11 AM »
Quote
Where is Noah when you need him?  We have had over 3 inches of rain in the last 36 hours in our rain shadow.  Some parts of Brisbane have had 2 or 3 times as much.

Picture 4.  How good are you on types of hat?.

Hi Jack

The expression "it never rains but it pours" springs to mind :laugh:

I've been to Lords three or 4 times so I've seen this hat in action >:D

I thought I'd sussed your rebus then realised it didn't work both ways so I'll have to have a re-think!

My rebus comes in several different variations.  It's about as much use as a...
9 (#5 +#4) 6 (#3 + #3)

Please ignore the wheel in the first picture & lose the first letter of the second picture.

      

Nearly lunchtime - egg & tomato sarnie :-H

If life gives you lemons, add a large gin & some tonic...

Hobbit

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Re: More or Les (was Bloody Plurals)
« Reply #7232 on: November 25, 2021, 02:33:02 AM »
Quote
@Hobbit - what, no number clues???

Sorry John had a senior moment :-[  I've sorted it out now!
If life gives you lemons, add a large gin & some tonic...

Ozzyjack

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Cheers, Jack


“Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe.” ― Albert Einstein

Ozzyjack

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Re: More or Les (was Bloody Plurals)
« Reply #7234 on: November 25, 2021, 05:33:56 PM »
Hi Pen,

Another inch and a half yesterday and I am beginning to develop web feet. 

I saw my apnoea specialist today and he was happy that my new CPAP machine was doing a great job of improving my sleeping quality but warned me that I needed to get another hour or two more.



Blue and Sheila were in a Westfield shopping centre doing their Christmas shopping.  In Australia, and it is probably so elsewhere, we have been warned to shop early because COVID has resulted in shortages of supply.

Blue wandered off as Sheila was standing in line in a toy store saying something about needing to see a man about a dog and being back in a little bit.

When she had got some presents for the grandkids, Blue still wasn't back and as they had more shopping to do, Sheila called him on his mobile and said, "Where are you?"

Blue said, "You remember the jewellers we went into about 10 years ago, and you fell in love with that diamond necklace? We couldn't afford it at the time and I said that one day I would get it for you.". 

Tears started to flow down Sheila’s cheeks and she got all choked up.

"Yes, I do remember that shop," she replied.

"Well, I'm in the pub next door."

 

 

One last palindrome.   The title of a book about palindromes - it is a palindrome itself.

Lines 1 and 2 is a cause.  Line 3 is conceptually on the same line as the clause.

#3  2  1  #6  #3,   #4



a






Cheers, Jack


“Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe.” ― Albert Einstein

Hobbit

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Re: More or Les (was Bloody Plurals)
« Reply #7235 on: November 25, 2021, 10:14:37 PM »
Quote
Another inch and a half yesterday and I am beginning to develop web feet. 

I saw my apnoea specialist today and he was happy that my new CPAP machine was doing a great job of improving my sleeping quality but warned me that I needed to get another hour or two more.

Hi Jack

I think I would probably swap your inch and a half for -1oc!  My car was very frozen this morning.  I'm beginning to develop frost bite :laugh:

That's great news about your new CPAP machine.  You really can't beat a decent nights sleep :)  Well, apart from a lovely glass of pink plonk on a Friday night perhaps >:D

I have an answer for your palindrome but I have no idea if it's right or not!!

My rebus is a poem by a poet you brought to our attention some time ago.  (note to self - don't forget the word count :-R)

#3 #3 #4 #5 #5

THE
Please change the last letter of the second picture.  The third word is an adjective.

      

I accidentally drank a bottle of invisible ink...
I'm now sitting in A&E waiting to be seen!

My neighbour, Diane,  was telling me that her daugher-in-law, Jane,  invited her round for dinner the other evening.
When they were sitting at the table, Diane turned to her six-year-old granddaughter and said, "Would you like to say grace?"
"I wouldn't know what to say," the little girl replied.
"Just say what you hear mummy saying," said Jane.
Her daughter bowed her head and said, "Oh Lord, why on earth did I invite all these people to dinner?"




If life gives you lemons, add a large gin & some tonic...

Ozzyjack

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Cheers, Jack


“Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe.” ― Albert Einstein

Ozzyjack

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Re: More or Les (was Bloody Plurals)
« Reply #7237 on: November 26, 2021, 10:54:19 PM »
Hi Pen,
I think it is drying up – only 33 mm (1.3 inches) in the gauge this morning.

A few cartoons for our American friends.

 
 


Cheers, Jack


“Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe.” ― Albert Einstein

Hobbit

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Re: More or Les (was Bloody Plurals)
« Reply #7238 on: November 27, 2021, 03:35:07 AM »
Quote
I think it is drying up – only 33 mm (1.3 inches) in the gauge this morning.

Hi Jack

Pleased to hear your weather is improving.  We've not had any frost this morning but we've now got a howling gale & pouring rain.  It's bitterly cold & they're forecasting snow tomorrow :o  Personally, I think it'll probably be sleety wet stuff.  Either way it's not going to be very pleasant.

        

A small snowy offering from me ;D
If life gives you lemons, add a large gin & some tonic...

Ozzyjack

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Re: More or Les (was Bloody Plurals)
« Reply #7239 on: November 27, 2021, 01:14:38 PM »
Hi Pen,
It is definitely drying up – only 2.5 mm (0.1 inches) in the gauge this morning.  Before we know it, we will be in the middle of a drought.


Blue and Sheila walked past the swankiest restaurant in Brisbane.  "Did you smell that food?" Sheila asked,"it smells absolutely incredible!"

Being a kind-hearted fella, Blue thought,  "what the hell..I'll treat her"

So he walked her past it again



Blue and Sheila were messaging each other.


Blue: You are negative

Sheila: And you are stubborn, arrogant, a low life, care about no one but yourself and your friends, all you are interested in is your own self, and in all your life you've not fulfilled even one of your promises. I’m the only one that has to put up with such a miserly and insensitive man. You good for nothing, fat, ugly man. Even your hair transplant failed.

Blue: I was just letting you know that your Covid test was negative.



Blue read about a feudal uprising where a duke's son was killed by rebels.  They used a trebuchet to knock him off the battlements with the only available ordinance: a peasant's decapitated head.  Blue told me it was the first recorded instance of a serf-face-to-heir missile.






Cheers, Jack


“Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe.” ― Albert Einstein

ridethetalk

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Re: More or Les (was Bloody Plurals)
« Reply #7240 on: November 27, 2021, 03:41:04 PM »
 :D :D :D

Laugh out loud funny Jack - those headlines were great and I could imagine Sheila flying off the deep end when provided with her test results (I wonder how often this has happened IRL...)
The greenest watt ever produced is the one you never use.
When we come out of the Covid-19 crisis, we need to make sure recovery efforts address the Climate Crisis (which can't be solved using social distancing!)
Playing as jk1956 and John is my name

Hobbit

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Re: More or Les (was Bloody Plurals)
« Reply #7241 on: November 28, 2021, 03:08:19 AM »
Quote
It is definitely drying up – only 2.5 mm (0.1 inches) in the gauge this morning.  Before we know it, we will be in the middle of a drought.

Hi Jack

Please to hear your weather's drying up but really hope you don't get a drought.  Unfortunately,  it's still bitterly cold here. The wind is raw :(  Popped out to get a paper this morning & got caught in a heavy downpour.  Luckily rain & no snow!  Just had to go out again to get an MRI scan on my dodgy knee.  Bit of a busman's holiday :laugh:

I totally agree with John.  Your post was laugh out loud funny :laugh:  Those headlines were a great find!

A quick & easy rebus.  It's a book from the 1950's which was made into a film.

#3 #4 #2 #4


Please ignore the bottle of fizz in the first picture & lose the first letter of the third picture. You need to shorten the first name of the gent in picture four.

         

Two old dears, Ethel & Hilda, were outside their old folks home having a smoke, when it started to rain. Hilda pulled out a condom, cut off the end, put it over her cigarette, and continued smoking.
Ethel: What's that?
Hilda: A condom.
Ethel: Where'd you get it?
Hilda: You can get them at any chemist.
The next day, Ethel hobbled into the local Boots and told the pharmacist that she wanted to buy a packet of condoms.
The guy looked at her kind of strangely (she was, after all, in her 80s), but politely asked what brand she preferred.
"It doesn't matter" she replied "as long as it fits a camel!"

Leave you with a silly joke ;D
« Last Edit: November 28, 2021, 03:10:06 AM by Hobbit »
If life gives you lemons, add a large gin & some tonic...

Ozzyjack

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Re: More or Les (was Bloody Plurals)
« Reply #7242 on: November 28, 2021, 12:15:58 PM »
Hi Pen,

I am not too worried about going into a drought.  One of the forecasts I read predicted we might have the wettest summer on record.

I loved Ethel and Hilda.



Me: "Where were you born?"
Blue: "New South Wales."
Me: "Which part?"
Blue: "All of me."

Blue and Sheila’s Grandkids were visiting.  The grandson asks him, “Pop, how many kinds of boobs are there?” Blue taken by surprise, answers, “Well, mate, a woman goes through three phases. In her 20s, a woman’s breasts are like melons, round and firm. In her 30s and 40s, they are like pears, still nice, hanging a bit. After 50, they are like onions.” “Onions?” his grandson asks. “Yes. You see them and they make you cry.”

This infuriated Sheila and the granddaughter. The granddaughter asks, “Gran, how many different kinds of willies are there?” Sheila smiles and says, “Well, dear, a man goes through three phases also. In his 20s, his willy is like an oak tree, mighty and hard. In his 30s and 40s, it’s like a birch, flexible but reliable. After his 50s, it’s like a Christmas tree.” “A Christmas tree?” the granddaughter asks. “Yes, dead from the root up and the balls are just for decoration.”


 


Cheers, Jack


“Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe.” ― Albert Einstein

Ozzyjack

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Re: More or Les (was Bloody Plurals)
« Reply #7243 on: November 28, 2021, 01:10:06 PM »
Cheers, Jack


“Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe.” ― Albert Einstein

Hobbit

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Re: More or Les (was Bloody Plurals)
« Reply #7244 on: November 29, 2021, 01:52:40 AM »
Hi Jack

Another cracking, laugh out loud post :laugh:  Loved it :-*

I bought some Christmas cards yesterday & they're now sitting on the sideboard glowering at me.  I need to start writing them but just can't raise any enthusiasm :(  & the cost of stamps, even second class, is ridiculous!  Barbs bought two books of first class stamps last week (24) & they cost her best part of twenty quid  :-R  Anyway I decided to do a post & leave the card writing for the moment.

A quick rebus for you.  It's a Tom Clancy novel that was also made into a film.
#5 #3 #7 #6


          

Leave you with a silly brain teaser ;D
A man pushes his car to a hotel & tells the owner he's bankrupt.  Why?
If life gives you lemons, add a large gin & some tonic...