More or Les (was Bloody Plurals)

[Hobbit]

Pen, how about mowing a lawn that looks like a jungle after the recent rain because tomorrow is green bin day.  Luckily, it is not going to get too hot today - predicted maximum 33^oC.

I think you might just win that one   We really are at opposite extremes at the moment.  It's barely above freezing here all day & night.  It's that horrid damp cold that gets in your bones & no sign of the sun   Mind you if I had to cut your lawn in 33^c I'd still be moaning!  No pleasing some folks

Loved your cartoon!  Really tickled me

          

Due to severe weather conditions the Government has issued this warning:
Anyone travelling should take blankets, sleeping bag, extra clothing, 24 hr food supply, 3 ltrs of water, safety triangle, tow rope, & a set of jump leads...
I looked a proper fool on the bus this morning!
 
One day at school years ago the lad who sat next to me swallowed his calculator.
I stood up for him when everyone else said he was a weirdo.
I told them, "He may be a bit weird, but it's what's inside him that counts!"

This tickled me & the dog is very cute


Fracture clinic this afternoon.  I'm hoping it'll be quite quiet so I can perhaps devise a tricky little puzzle 

[Dragonman]

It was 1960 and Dave was going to take Linda out to a dance for their first date.
When he arrived to pick her up her mother invited Dave in explaining Linda was not quite ready.
''Linda does like to screw '' she informed Dave '' she will screw all night if you let her. I hope you have the energy to keep up with her and enjoy yourselves''
Dave was flabbergasted and looked forward to the evening even more.


Four hours later Linda returned home, flustered and disheveled.
She went to her mother and shouted,









''Its called THE TWIST Mother, THE TWIST !!!!''

[Hobbit]

That's funny Gareth   Love it!

[Hobbit]

I'm back Jack

I've come up with a nice easy little puzzle for you. 
It's a quote from a 1972 film.  Not giving you any more clues as I think (famous last words!) it'll be too easy.

#4 #7 #(3+5)


surname of lady in third picture.  I chose the second picture in case you've forgotten what a roaring log fire looks like. 



         

[Ozzyjack]

Hi Pen,


That was an interesting puzzle and the answer has become quite common in a number of places, as I point out in the spoiler alert.

It is a mild 23^oC on the patio this morning. Out of curiosity, I looked up Mittagong’s temperature – 11.6  Bletchley is 1 and that is at 7:00 pm.

I am working on a puzzle but I won’t have it ready for this post.


 


A young girl about 7 years old had a dog which she took for a walk everyday after school.
Well, one day her dog was in heat, so her father told her that she couldn't walk the dog for a week or so because it wasn't feeling well.
His daughter became very upset and cried for most of the night.
The next day the father came up with a plan. He put some gasoline on the dog's rear end to hide the smell from the male dogs.
Well, when the girl got home she was happy to find that she could now walk her dog again.
About an hour later, the girl returned without the dog.
The father asked, "What on earth has happened to the dog?"

The girl replies, "Well she ran out of gas a few blocks back and is being pushed home by another dog."

[TRex]

Pen, how about mowing a lawn that looks like a jungle after the recent rain because tomorrow is green bin day.  Luckily, it is not going to get too hot today - predicted maximum 33^oC.

I think you might just win that one   We really are at opposite extremes at the moment.  It's barely above freezing here all day & night.  It's that horrid damp cold that gets in your bones & no sign of the sun   Mind you if I had to cut your lawn in 33^c I'd still be moaning!  No pleasing some folks

No grass to mow here. It's hiding under several inches of the white stuff.

[Ozzyjack]

Hi TRex,

When I was a young man, say fifty years ago, I could work easily in 33^o heat. In fact the older I gets the better I was. 

Nowadays I have to be more clever. A day that is going to in the high 30s is generally in the low 20s about 7 o’clock and that is when I mow. I have a 36v battery mower which goes for an hour and then needs recharging,  so I can postpone the rest of the mowing until the next day without loss of face. 

[2dognight]

Hi Jack

I have a mower like yours plus a blower that works on the same battery, bloody love them

Carol

Just thought that would lighten up the mood

shoot the bastard

[Hobbit]

That was an interesting puzzle and the answer has become quite common in a number of places, as I point out in the spoiler alert.

Hi Jack

I've had a day off today to compensate myself for working last Sunday.  I've been busyish!  Did a bit of shopping & a little light housework.  It was a beautiful morning here - sunny, bright & very cold.  I'd arranged to meet a friend & her dog for a walk at 11.30.  As I got out of my car the sun disappeared & the fog descended   Needless to say we only lasted about 40 minutes before calling it a day.  It was bone-numbingly cold   Came home for a good warming cuppa!  They're forecasting snow tomorrow.  Hope it's only a smattering.  We shouldn't get as much as T Rex, fingers crossed!  Crikey 11.6 in Mittagong is very chilly compared to your balmy 23^c.  Bet you're so very glad you moved

A cracking post - I loved it   The Snoopy cartoon has me down to a T today   It was interesting what you said about my last puzzle.  I had John Wayne & The Cowboys in mind so if you want to be picky you could say I got it wrong!  I should have left off the g.

         

Sheepdog: "All 40 sheep are accounted for boss."
Farmer: "But I only had 39 sheep"
Sheepdog:  "Yes I know,  I rounded them up!"

A nurse was on duty in A&E when a young woman with purple hair styled into a punk rocker Mohawk, sporting a variety of tattoos, and wearing strange clothing, entered.  It was quickly determined that the patient had acute appendicitis, so she was scheduled for immediate surgery. When she was completely disrobed on the operating table, the staff noticed that her pubic hair had been dyed green, and above it there was a tattoo that read, 'Keep off the grass.' Once the surgery was completed, the surgeon wrote a short note on the patient's dressing, which said.

'Sorry, had to mow the lawn.'

That was the best "lawn mower" joke I could find

Need a small snooze before contemplating my chicken & leek pie

Perhaps you could persuade Bonnie to mow the lawn for you

[Ozzyjack]

Hi Pen,

Great mowing joke.  I won’t try to match you but will give you a quick puzzle with plenty of hints.

The subject is a 1930’s novel with a tough guy hero.

#2  #6  #6  10(#8 2)  4  1  #5  #5

  ly like a

Hints. Treat all pictures as being on one line.
Picture 1.  Last 2 letters only
Picture 3.  First letter Substitute “r” for “l”
Picture 4.  Second letter Substitute “l” for “h”
Picture 5.  American spelling

[TRex]

When I was a young man, say fifty years ago, I could work easily in 33^o heat. In fact the older I gets the better I was. 

Hi Jack,

Right now it is 33° here — Fahrenheit. But I suspect you were thinking in Celsius! 

[Ozzyjack]

TRex, 50 odd years ago I used to train for Rugby at 33^oF or less in the middle of winter in Canberra.  As you run up and down the paddock it felt like ice was forming on your lungs.                                                                                                                                 

It's the main reason I gave up Rugby and took up golf. I never stopped enjoying playing Rugby but I hated training.

[les303]

Hey Jack, i must tell you about the fight that my mate Bob recently had with his wife (Cathy ) as it was all over a lawnmower.
Their lawnmower had been broken for weeks & Cathy had been continually nagging him to either fix it or by a new one.
Bob hated mowing the lawn so he kept on coming up with excuses as to why he had not got around to fixing the lawnmower.
Cathy was fed up & devised a plan that she was sure would "guilt " Bob into action.
The next day, when Bob arrived home from work he was greeted by the sight of Cathy sitting on the edge of the patio with a tiny pair of scissors, feverishly snipping away at the overgrown grass.
Bob sat down at the patio table & watched her silently for a few minutes before going inside to the bathroom.
He returned with a toothbrush & as he handed it to Cathy he said " when you have finished cutting the lawn you can brush down the driveway " & that is how the fight started.

[Ozzyjack]

Hi Pen,

On the way to the airport this morning, I heard that Greater Brisbane will go into lockdown for three days, while contact tracers work to ensure the UK strain of COVID-19 is not circulating in the community.  Your strain of the virus is 70% more contagious than the viruses that have so far been detected here.  The message from the government was there was absolutely no reason to panic buy.  By the time we came back through Victoria Point, there was a 100-yard queue outside one butcher shop.  We came straight home.

       

I was having a beer in a bar in Brisbane recently when this guy I recognised as a friend of yours, Pen, walked into the bar and takes a seat next to a very attractive woman.

He glances at her, and then casually looks at his watch for a moment.

The woman notices this and asks, “Is your date running late?”

“No,” he replies, “I just paid a guy a thousand bucks for this state-of-the-art watch. I was just testing it.”

The intrigued woman says, “A state-of-the-art watch? What’s so special about it?”

He explains, “It uses alpha waves to talk to me telepathically.”

The woman says, “What’s it telling you now?”

“Well, it says you’re not wearing any panties.”

The woman giggles and replies, “Well it must be broken because I’m wearing panties!”

The guy smirks, taps his watch, and says, “Bloody thing’s an hour fast.”

[Ozzyjack]

Hi Les,

I believe you are a connoisseur of classical music so I thought you might appreciate this one.

Blue was walking in a graveyard when he hears the Third Symphony played backward. When it’s over, the Second Symphony starts playing, also backward, and then the First. “What’s going on?” Blue asks a cemetery worker.

“It’s Beethoven,” says the worker. “He’s decomposing.”