I found a story that made me laugh & I was certain I had used it before but I've searched thoroughly & can't find it so, fingers crossed, here goes...
I suspect I'm becoming paranoid!!
I enjoyed the Washington Post article.
Hi Pen,
Just because they are all out to get you doesn’t prove you are paranoid.
Your memory is good, Pen, you used it on 24 July 2019 but it was hard to track down. While doing so I came across a number of our better efforts. It prompted me to think we should have a competition for publishing the best story from our previous posts.
I can’t get into the
Washington Post. They have barred me unless I take out a subscription but from a 3rd party source here is some more of their annual awards.
FOR LEXOPHILES (LOVERS OF WORDS):
1. A bicycle can't stand alone; it is two tired.
2. A will is a dead giveaway.
3. Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like bananas.
4. A backward poet writes inverse.
5. In a democracy, it's your vote that counts; in feudalism, it's your Count that votes.
6. A chicken crossing the road: poultry in motion.
7. If you don't pay your exorcist, you can get repossessed.
8. With her marriage she got a new name and a dress.
9. Show me a piano falling down a mine shaft, and I'll show you A-flat miner.
10. When a clock is hungry, it goes back four seconds.
11. The guy who fell into an upholstery machine was fully recovered.
12. A grenade fell onto a kitchen floor in France resulted in Linoleum Blown apart.
13. You are stuck with your debt, if you can't budge it.
14. Local Area Network in Australia : The LAN down under.
15. He broke into song because he couldn't find the key.
16. A calendar's days are numbered.
17. A lot of money is tainted: 'Taint yours, and 'taint mine.
18. A boiled egg is hard to beat.
19. He had a photographic memory, which was never developed.
20. A plateau is a high form of flattery.
21. The short fortuneteller who escaped from prison: a small medium at large.
22. Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.
23. When you've seen one shopping center, you've seen a mall.
24. If you jump off a Paris bridge, you are in Seine
25. When she saw her first strands of gray hair, she thought ? She'd dye.
26. Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead to know basis.
27. Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.
28. Acupuncture: a jab well done.
29. Marathon runners with bad shoes suffer the agony of de feet.
Note: No trees were killed in the sending of this message, but a large number of electrons were terribly inconvenienced.