Author Topic: More or Les (was Bloody Plurals)  (Read 814274 times)

les303

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Re: More or Les (was Bloody Plurals)
« Reply #4965 on: October 28, 2020, 07:52:05 PM »
G'day Rose, & thanks for your post which has hit the nail right on the head.
Penny knows bloody well that i never mean to offend anyone but she just likes to wind me up & i fall for it every time.

I just do not have time at the moment but in the coming days i will tell a couple of stories about my first interactions with pommies.

les303

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Re: More or Les (was Bloody Plurals)
« Reply #4966 on: October 28, 2020, 09:31:48 PM »
G'day Jack , so very glad to hear that you have dodged another bullet.
You will receive many more severe storm warnings over the coming months which you should certainly take notice of but the point that i was trying to make in my post the other day is that in the majority of cases you will not be seriously impacted & they will turn out to be what i like to call a fizzer at least in your particular area.

I got a phone call from Mark ( a long time colleague from work ) this arv to let me know that my lotto payment is due.
For many years we have had a work syndicate ( comprising about 20 members ) that puts in an entry when the jackpots reach a minimum of around 30 million. ( been close but have not won anything significant in over 20 years of trying )
He also mentioned that they were taking up a collection for Michelle ( another long time workmate ) who lives on an acreage just west of Ipswich.
So i paid my lotto dues in advance for the next 12 months & also made a significant contribution to the collection that they were taking up for Chelle.
Poor Chelle ( a single mum ) lost her roof in Tuesdays storm & her home & property suffered severe damages with fallen trees etc..
Chelle is on rostered  days off for the next two days so Mark has organised for a group of her friends & workmates to turn up unannounced to help with the clean up over the next couple of days.
Mark is on the over night shift so he will hook up his trailer with all of his gear & when he knocks off at about 6.30am in the morning he will call into my place for a bit of breaky & a coffee, then we will head straight to Michelle's place arriving around about 8.30 / 9.00 am.
I just hope that my alarm clock still works as it is a long time since i have had to get up so early.
Anyway,  need to go to bed now so i will let you know how we get on.





auntiemo

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Re: More or Les (was Bloody Plurals)
« Reply #4967 on: October 28, 2020, 11:01:53 PM »
Hey Les,
Good for you...whatever needs to be done, do it !!
I too was winding you up. Sorry. Couldn't resist the temptation. Penny wouldn't get stressed by that...receptionists have to have a thick skin  :)
Lots of thunder and lightning around tonight but not much more!
Moyra
Redlands , Queensland, Australia

Hobbit

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Re: More or Les (was Bloody Plurals)
« Reply #4968 on: October 29, 2020, 12:58:35 AM »
Quote
I remember that when my niece and her family emigrated to Australia in 2004, I explained to her husband that if anyone called him a 'Pommy bastard', it meant they liked him.
Quote
I too was winding you up. Sorry. Couldn't resist the temptation. Penny wouldn't get stressed by that...receptionists have to have a thick skin  :)
Moyra
Quote
Penny knows bloody well that i never mean to offend anyone but she just likes to wind me up & i fall for it every time.

Oh Les you know damn well I was winding you up :laugh:  I think you'll find you've done your fair share of winding me up over the years!!

One of the best days out I have ever had was an Ashes match at Trent Bridge.  The crowd, the atmosphere & the people were truly fantastic.  The banter was hilarious & very good natured. One lone Aussie was trying to take on the Barmy Army & everyone around was laughing. I didn't hear one crossed word all day.  A day I wont forget it until I go doolally tap :laugh:

A big pat on the back for helping Chelle.  A very kind & selfless thing to do.  I hope your alarm clock doesn't let you down!
Pen
If life gives you lemons, add a large gin & some tonic...

Hobbit

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Re: More or Les (was Bloody Plurals)
« Reply #4969 on: October 29, 2020, 02:14:18 AM »
Quote

We dodged the bullet again yesterday.  Only had 16.5 mm in the gauge this morning. 


Hi Jack

But what's that in inches??  Could we please have future readings in inches as well as mm? >:D

          
 

A few years ago artist Pablo Picasso surprised a burglar at work in his new chateau. The intruder got away, but Picasso told the police he could do a rough sketch of what he looked like.
On the basis of his drawing, the police arrested a mother superior, the minister of finance, a washing machine, and the Eiffel tower.

Do you know who is the patron saint of checking if you bread rolls are ready to come out of the oven...?
St John the Bap Test!

We've had torrential rain & thunder & lightning in the last half an hour.  If I didn't know better I'd say you & Les had sent it my way :laugh:

When I finish today I'm not back in until Monday :)  How brilliant is that!

« Last Edit: October 29, 2020, 02:22:02 AM by Hobbit »
If life gives you lemons, add a large gin & some tonic...

Ozzyjack

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Re: More or Les (was Bloody Plurals)
« Reply #4970 on: October 29, 2020, 02:46:09 AM »
But what's that in inches??  Could we please have future readings in inches as well as mm? >:D

Hi Pen,

Wait a minute.  I'll be back in a bit after I've googled " how many inches in 16.5 mm of rain"
Regards, Jack

Ozzyjack

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Re: More or Les (was Bloody Plurals)
« Reply #4971 on: October 29, 2020, 03:01:44 AM »
Smee again, Pen.

0.649606 inches

We visited Coorparoo yesterday morning and so Bonnie was tired in the afternoon after scragging with Dusty for a couple of hours.  I had an appointment with a dental technician and so my theme today is dentists.

The predicted storm yesterday was a damp squib in the afternoon but may have come back last night. I woke up briefly about 10:30 and it was raining and thundery but I went straight back to sleep.

In case you wondered, I am up at this time to take Bonnie outside briefly in an effort to promote her toilet training.


          

          

I have used the last one before, but it is one of my favourites.



Blue went in to make an appointment with the dentist.
"I'm sorry sir." the receptionist said. "He's out right now, but..."

"Thank you." interrupted the obviously nervous Blue. "When will he be out again?"

Blue finally got an appointment and after the dentist examines him, he says, "that tooth has to come out. I'm going to give you a shot of Novocain and I'll be back in a few minutes."

Blue replies, "absolutely not. It makes me sick for a couple of days. I'm not having gas."

So, the dentist steps out and comes back with a glass of water, "here," he says. "Take this pill."

Blue asks "What is it?"

The dentist replies, "Viagra."

Blue looks surprised, "will that kill the pain?" he asks.

"No," replies the dentist, "but it will give you something to hang on to while I pull your tooth!"


Blue asked his dentist whether it wasn’t nasty to be all the day with his hands in someone's mouth.
The dentist answered "I just think of it as having my hands in their wallet."



Make that 2 a.m.
« Last Edit: October 29, 2020, 03:15:35 AM by Ozzyjack »
Regards, Jack

TRex

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Re: More or Les (was Bloody Plurals)
« Reply #4972 on: October 29, 2020, 05:33:20 AM »
G'day TRex.

Have you become snowbound already?

Hah! Not yet!

Hobbit

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Re: More or Les (was Bloody Plurals)
« Reply #4973 on: October 29, 2020, 07:37:18 AM »
Quote
Wait a minute.  I'll be back in a bit after I've googled " how many inches in 16.5 mm of rain"

You having another little dig at me Jack? :laugh:  I might have to consider lodging a complaint with the Management!!

I did think it was a funny time for you to be up when I read your post :o 

I loved the second cartoon - I don't remember it from before.  The dentist story was hilarious & conjured up a very funny picture in my head :laugh:

I'm a bit knacked  :-Y & very glad not to be at work tomorrow.  I do have a busy day planned.  I'm out to lunch with a friend for a delayed birthday celebration & have a man coming to replace a tap in my kitchen after.  I'm then off to get a wig slash!

            

I'm going to conk out in my armchair!

If life gives you lemons, add a large gin & some tonic...

Ozzyjack

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Re: More or Les (was Bloody Plurals)
« Reply #4974 on: October 29, 2020, 12:48:15 PM »
Quote from: Hobbit
I might have to consider lodging a complaint with the Management!!

Pen, the complaints department manager is Helen Waite.  So, if you have a complaint go to Helen Waite.

"We've had complaints about you," said Pen.
"What are they?" I asked.
"They're what people make when they aren't happy with something," Pen replied.



After eating in the local greasy spoon, Blue suddenly develops terrible constipation! He complains to the manager that the only remedy he can think of is an enema and the manager should pay.

"Hoho! We don't use enemas here!" the manager says with a big smile, and steps over to a potted palm. "Just chew an inch of this" – and he snaps off a leaf – "" Dubious, Blue takes the little strip of leaf and heads home.

The next morning he bursts into the manager’s office in absolute glee! "It worked!" he says, "with fronds like these, you don't need enemas!"



Blue storms into a bakery and says "I want to make a complaint! This muffin is mouldy and tastes like cheese!"
The baker rolls his eyes and says "well, you did ask for a blue brie muffin."


Regards, Jack

cmh

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Re: More or Les (was Bloody Plurals)
« Reply #4975 on: October 29, 2020, 07:06:36 PM »
Hi Penny
I am also at the hairdresser this afternoon so at least I know we are BOTH to blame for the wet and windy weather!!

Hobbit

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Re: More or Les (was Bloody Plurals)
« Reply #4976 on: October 29, 2020, 09:31:39 PM »
Oh Christine we've made it doubly worse :laugh: Horrid here!
If life gives you lemons, add a large gin & some tonic...

Hobbit

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Re: More or Les (was Bloody Plurals)
« Reply #4977 on: October 30, 2020, 07:24:52 AM »
Quote

Pen, the complaints department manager is Helen Waite.  So, if you have a complaint go to Helen Waite.


Hi Jack

I tried to contact Helen Waite as you suggested but, unfortunately, I was told that she is infernally busy!
(sorry I'm tired & had a busy day & best I could do ;D)

Very funny Blue jokes - especially loved the enema one :laugh:

I heard on the grapevine that Sheila was planning a trip to the hairdressers.  She asked Blue "What cut do you think would make me more attractive?"
She was not very amused when he replied "A power cut!"

I was doing a crossword in the pub & said to my Scottish mate "I'm stuck on one, trapped on a desert island, eight letters starting with M"  He said "marooned"
I replied "Thanks, I'll have a glass of rose!"

      

I'm flagging now :-Y

If life gives you lemons, add a large gin & some tonic...

les303

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Re: More or Les (was Bloody Plurals)
« Reply #4978 on: October 30, 2020, 03:01:30 PM »
Hey Les,
Good for you...whatever needs to be done, do it !!
Moyr

That's exactly it Moyra & that was the same attitude of everyone ( some total strangers to Chelle ) of everyone who turned up throughout the day.
Although i did a lot of " supervising " & left most of the heavy lifting to the younger brigade i was still well & truly buggered by the time that i arrived back home late yesterday afternoon & this morning i have aches & pains in places where i didn't even know i had any muscles but of course would do it all again at the drop of a hat.
Without a doubt the heroes of this event were the S.E.S workers ,who Chelle told us, were absolutely brilliant & fearless at the most critical & dangerous time.

Anyway, it's beer o'clock so bye for now.







« Last Edit: October 30, 2020, 03:06:59 PM by les303 »

Ozzyjack

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Re: More or Les (was Bloody Plurals)
« Reply #4979 on: October 30, 2020, 10:35:35 PM »
I was doing a crossword in the pub & said to my Scottish mate "I'm stuck on one, trapped on a desert island, eight letters starting with M"  He said "marooned"

Hi Pen,

Talk about thick. I read that joke 3 times before I got it and then I laughed my head off.



Blue had a dream that he was a shipwrecked mariner who had spent several years on a deserted island, completely alone.

Then one morning he was thrilled to see a ship offshore and a smaller vessel pulling out towards him.

When the boat grounded on the beach, the officer in charge handed Blue a bundle of October 2020 newspapers and told him: “The captain said to read through these and let us know if you still want to be rescued.”



It’s time for me to make a dignified exit



« Last Edit: October 30, 2020, 10:37:14 PM by Ozzyjack »
Regards, Jack