Another excellent & very funny post. You're cooking on gas at the moment:laugh:
Hi Pen,
This brought home to me that my posts have become increasingly more basic since we began the move. We have mentioned before that sometimes good material falls into your lap and, other times you can search for hours for material that is suitable and of a standard worth posting and, come up with Sweet Fanny Adams. I no longer have the time or the energy to spend hours searching. We have also mentioned how hard it is to find material we have not used before. I was lucky yesterday. I found a good source for car stories and I had a bit more discretionary time.
I had a few items which didn’t make it in to the last post. So, I will continue the car theme.
Yesterday, Blue had a flat tire driving on the M1. So he eased his car over to the shoulder of the road, carefully got out of the car and opened the boot. He took out two cardboard men, unfolded them and stood them at the rear of his car facing on-coming traffic. They looked so life like you wouldn't believe it! They're dressed in open trench coats that exposed their nude bodies and private parts to the approaching drivers.
To Blue’s surprise, cars started slowing down to look at the lifelike mends. And, of course, traffic began backing up. Everybody tooted their horns and waved like crazy. It was not long before a Highway Patrol copper pulled up. He got out of his car and walked towards Blue who could tell he was not a happy camper!
"
What's going on here?"
"The car has a flat tire," Blue said calmly.
"
Well, what the hell are those obscene cardboard men doing here by the road?"
Blue could not believe that he didn't know. So, he told him, "
Helloooooo, those are my emergency flashers!"
Blue’s young nephew, Cranky, applied for a position as mechanic at “
We fix your bomb” garage. It just so happened that a young woman had walked in that day also looking for a job. There was only one position to be filled, and since both applicants seemed to have the same qualifications, Blue’s boss, Ray, asked them both to take a written test.
Upon completion of the test, both only missed one of the questions. Ray went to Cranky and said, "
Thank you for your interest, but we've decided to give the job to the young lady."
Cranky asked, "
Why? We both got nine questions correct. Since my uncle Crusty works here, I should get the job!"
Ray said, "
We have made our decision not on the correct answers, which suspiciously were nearly identical, but rather on the question that you missed."
Cranky then asked, "
And just how would one incorrect answer be better than the other?"Ray replied, "
Simple, the young woman put down for question #4, 'I don't know.'
You put down, '
Neither do I.'"
When they were young, Blue and four of his mates toured Europe. The five of them hired an Audi Quattro and arrived at the Italian border.(
remember this was 50 years ago)
The Italian Customs agent stops them and says, "
It's illegal to put 5 people in a Quattro."
"
What do you mean it's illegal?" asked Blue.
"
Quattro means four," replies the Italian official.
"
Quattro is just the name of the automobile," Blue retorts disbelievingly. "
Look at the papers: this car is designed to carry 5 persons.""
You can't pull that one on me," replies the Italian customs agent. "
Quattro means four. You have five people in your car and you are therefore breaking the law."Blue replied angrily, "
You idiot! Call your supervisor over—I want to speak to someone with more intelligence!"
"
Sorry," responds the Italian official, "
he can't come. He's busy with 2 guys in a Fiat Uno."