Author Topic: More or Les (was Bloody Plurals)  (Read 296570 times)

Hobbit

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Re: More or Les (was Bloody Plurals)
« Reply #4635 on: August 24, 2020, 02:12:00 AM »
Quote

I didn't get it and my missus did explain it to me.  Quite clever.

If the nuns went out in this without clothes they would all be blue

I can’t remember if I have tried Blue Nun but I have had other brands of Liebfraumilch.

You might be interested in the late Len Evans Theory of Capacity.


Hi Jack

That's a great joke :laugh:  Zoe & I had to read it 2 or 3 times then, as Les said, the penny dropped!!

I also very much enjoyed the Capacity of Theory :) It was clever & really tickled me!

All that snow made me feel really chilly.  Brrr! I'm sure I've said it before but you don't think of there being much snow in your corner of the world!!  Well obviously not in your new neck of the woods ;D

         

While out playing a round of golf a man accidentally overturns his buggy.  An attractive lady golfer, who lived in a house by the course, heard the noise & rushed over.  "Are you alright?" she enquired.
"I'm ok thanks" replies the man & crawls out of the twisted buggy.
The lady continued "My house is just over there, why don't you come & rest a while & I'll help you sort the buggy out later"
Her silky bathrobe was partly open & revealed a very nice figure.  "That's very kind of you" the man said "but I don't think my wife would like it"
She was very pretty & very persuasive & the man was very weak..."Okay" he said "but I'm sure my wife wont like it"
After a couple of cold beers the man thanked her and said "I feel much better now but I know my wife is going to be very upset so I'd better leave now"
"Don't be silly" said the lady with a smile letting her robe fall open a little more "stay a while - she wont know anything.  By the way where is she?"
"Still under the golf buggy I suppose!"

I'm off to the kitchen to see what I can find :-H






Hobbit

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Re: More or Les (was Bloody Plurals)
« Reply #4636 on: August 24, 2020, 07:36:23 PM »
G'day Jack

It's Monday morning on fracture clinic & I'm


I meant to ask if your golf clubs have turned up yet?

         

Only 2 & a half hours til lunch :-H  Ham, cheese & coleslaw in a cheesy topped roll yummy :laugh:


Ozzyjack

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Re: More or Les (was Bloody Plurals)
« Reply #4637 on: August 25, 2020, 10:39:18 AM »
Hi Pen,

The golf clubs were picked up in Canberra yesterday.  So with a bit of luck they should be here by the weekend.

It’s a waste of time and energy being grumpy, Pen.

     

Looks like you were in a naughty mood when you picked those excellent cartoons, Pen.

Blue has also been a bit naughty lately and so he went to confession.  The penance he got was to go around all the churches in the Redlands area and study the notice boards and make a note of any notices that tickled his fancy.  This was his list.
  • The Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals.
  • Scouts are saving aluminium cans, bottles and other items to be recycled Proceeds will be used to cripple children.
  • The sermon this morning: 'Jesus Walks on the Water.'.  The sermon tonight: 'Searching for Jesus.'
  • Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house.  Bring your husbands.
  • Don't let worry kill you off - let the Church help.
  • Miss Charlene Mason sang 'I will not pass this way again,' giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.
  • For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.
  • Next Thursday there will be try-outs for the choir. They need all the help they can get.
  • Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days.
  • At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be 'What Is Hell?'.  Come early and listen to our choir practice.
  • Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person you want to be remembered.
  • The church will host an evening of fine dining, superb entertainment, and gracious hostility.
  • Pot-luck supper Sunday at 5:00 PM - prayer and medication to follow.
  • The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind. They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.
  • Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM.  Please use the back door.
  • The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the Church basement Friday at 7 PM. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.
  • Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church.  Please use the large double door at the side entrance.
  • The Associate Minister unveiled the church's new campaign slogan last Sunday: 'I Upped My Pledge - Up Yours'.

/b] Cheers, Jack


“Remember, when you are dead, you do not know you are dead. It is only painful for others.
The same applies when you are stupid.”― Ricky Gervais

Hobbit

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Re: More or Les (was Bloody Plurals)
« Reply #4638 on: August 25, 2020, 07:51:21 PM »
Hi Jack

Pleased to hear the golf clubs are on their way :)

I read your post this morning while I was enjoying my early morning cuppa. A good start to a very wet & windy day!  Made me laugh out loud :laugh: Nearly choked on my tea!!

A small random assortment but not as funny as yours!
          

An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman were taking part in a survey about tea-drinking habits. 'I always stir my tea with my left hand,' said The Englishman. 'I always stir my tea with my right hand,' said The Scotsman. How about you?' the Irishman was asked. 'Oh me?' said the Irishman, 'I always use a spoon.'

Leave you with a silly Dad joke ;D

We haven't had any pictures of the pups for a few days.



Ozzyjack

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Re: More or Les (was Bloody Plurals)
« Reply #4639 on: August 26, 2020, 09:09:21 PM »
Hi Pen,

As the pups have become more mobile, the posts about them are more in the form of clips rather than still photos.  It appears if you have not got access to Facebook, you get blocked from the clips.  For those with access to Facebook, the clips can be accessed with a Facebook search to “Taaffeite Border Collies”

Here are some stills:

 
   


We whipped down to Surfers Paradise for a lunch with some friends at our surf club.  A bit over an hour each way so it was a long whip.

I had the Barramundi Curry in this menu

Very Yummy.  Stop drooling, Pen.

They tried to deliver the golf clubs while we were away.  I had no idea they would get them up here so fast.  So tomorrow, a 45-minute drive each-way across town to pick them up from the courier company headquarters.

We have signed up Bonnie for Puppy Classes from 17 September and have acquired most of the things we need to welcome her home on 7 September.  So far, we haven’t had to mortgage the house. :D

We have to get a registration check on Sealy, June’s 93 Nissan Pulsar, at 8 tomorrow and if he passes, find a motor registry to turn him into a banana-bender.

Big day today, big day tomorrow, and so I am going to squib on the jokes tonight.
« Last Edit: August 26, 2020, 09:11:42 PM by Ozzyjack »
/b] Cheers, Jack


“Remember, when you are dead, you do not know you are dead. It is only painful for others.
The same applies when you are stupid.”― Ricky Gervais

Scouser1952

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Re: More or Les (was Bloody Plurals)
« Reply #4640 on: August 26, 2020, 10:09:30 PM »
News report today informs the UK that the former Australian pm Tony Abbott has beeb recruited by Boris Johnson to assist with Brexit Trade Deals.

For all you folk in Australia- what have we done to you to deserve this? Apart from the obvious that Is.
« Last Edit: August 27, 2020, 01:39:34 AM by Scouser1952 »

Hobbit

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Re: More or Les (was Bloody Plurals)
« Reply #4641 on: August 26, 2020, 11:23:39 PM »
Thought for a minute it must be 1st April...

Hobbit

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Re: More or Les (was Bloody Plurals)
« Reply #4642 on: August 27, 2020, 12:23:10 AM »
Quote

Here are some stills:

We whipped down to Surfers Paradise for a lunch with some friends at our surf club.  A bit over an hour each way so it was a long whip.

Very Yummy.  Stop drooling, Pen.

They tried to deliver the golf clubs while we were away.  I had no idea they would get them up here so fast.  So tomorrow, a 45-minute drive each-way across town to pick them up from the courier company headquarters.

We have signed up Bonnie for Puppy Classes from 17 September and have acquired most of the things we need to welcome her home on 7 September.  So far, we haven’t had to mortgage the house. :D

We have to get a registration check on Sealy, June’s 93 Nissan Pulsar, at 8 tomorrow and if he passes, find a motor registry to turn him into a banana-bender.


Hi Jack

Having a very busy day at work & shall be glad when it's going home time!

I loved the pictures - especially the 4 of them together :)  Cheered up a bit of a rubbish day.

Then I had to chuckle when I read that you'd been to the surf club!  I wondered if you were thinking of giving up golf in favour of a new hobby :laugh:  I have to admit that the menu did make me drool :-H  I love pad thai & I haven't had it for yonks.  Unlike Miss Bliss Wholefoods Kitchen there was quite a bit on this menu that excited me :laugh:
It's a bit of a nuisance having to drive to the other side of town to collect the clubs from the courier but perhaps you'll find somewhere else to sample the lunch menu :) 

Can't believe it's a week on Monday when Bonnie comes home - very exciting.  Hope she enjoys puppy classes.  I think there's one certainty - her sister will definitely need them :laugh:

Does that mean that June can't drive Sealy until he's officially a banana bender?

          

Another hour & hopefully I can go home! :)
« Last Edit: August 27, 2020, 12:37:03 AM by Hobbit »

Ozzyjack

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Re: More or Les (was Bloody Plurals)
« Reply #4643 on: August 27, 2020, 07:14:36 AM »
News report today informs the UK that the former Australian pm Tony Abbott has beeb recruited by Boris Johnson to assist with Brexit Trade Deals.

Hi Tony,

Your Shadow trade secretary Emily Thornberry nailed it when she said the nomination of a failed Australian prime minister was a "humiliation," particularly given the UK was hosting the next round of global climate talks.

"On a personal level, I am disgusted that Boris Johnson thinks this offensive, leering, cantankerous, climate-change-denying, Trump-worshipping misogynist is the right person to represent our country overseas," Thornberry said.

This is the full SMH peice if you are interested

As they say in the classics "our gain, is your loss" >:D


/b] Cheers, Jack


“Remember, when you are dead, you do not know you are dead. It is only painful for others.
The same applies when you are stupid.”― Ricky Gervais

Scouser1952

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Re: More or Les (was Bloody Plurals)
« Reply #4644 on: August 27, 2020, 07:46:08 AM »
Thanks for that Jack.
I’m amazed, we’ve got plenty of our own idiots available without importing other countries failures, not to mention a whole host of Trump supporting loonies available from the US(elsess)of A, who I’m sure the orange idiot would recommend to Bojo (the clown).
Not that I’m biased you understand.
(Other U.K. party loonies are also available)

les303

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Re: More or Les (was Bloody Plurals)
« Reply #4645 on: August 27, 2020, 04:23:30 PM »
They say that politicians are involved in the second oldest profession.
I reckon that most of our current politicians would be much better suited in the worlds oldest profession.


mkenuk

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Re: More or Les (was Bloody Plurals)
« Reply #4646 on: August 27, 2020, 05:31:55 PM »

 we’ve got plenty of our own idiots available

What did you expect when the only requirement for being a member of Johnson's cabinet was to support Brexit?


Hobbit

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Re: More or Les (was Bloody Plurals)
« Reply #4647 on: August 27, 2020, 09:21:09 PM »
Hi Jack

Hope you've collected your clubs & recovering from your busy day with a small glass or 2 of sauv blanc :)  Did you find a decent pit stop for lunch?

I'm having a very busy day & have a small headache.  Nearly lunchtime thank goodness :-H


Ozzyjack

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Re: More or Les (was Bloody Plurals)
« Reply #4648 on: August 27, 2020, 09:57:18 PM »
Then I had to chuckle when I read that you'd been to the surf club!  I wondered if you were thinking of giving up golf in favour of a new hobby :laugh: 

Does that mean that June can't drive Sealy until he's officially a banana bender?


Hi Pen,

Sporting clubs in Australia have two different types of members.  Those who indulge in the sport and membership fees can be rather steep and Social members who pay a peppercorn fee and get discounts on their food and drink.  I am a social member of at least 6 clubs and generally, you will come out ahead with a couple of visits a year.  My only real membership is the golf club.  The grandkids love the beach near the surf club which is why I joined.

Technically Sealy should have been registered in Queensland a fortnight after he arrived and we made a commitment to stay.  But it is not scrupulously policed and he now has QLD number plates, so all good.

 



P.S. We picked up our clubs this morning.

P.P.S  No fancy food at lunch.  Just picked up a chicken Schnitzel burger takeaway from the local bakery.
« Last Edit: August 28, 2020, 09:43:59 AM by Ozzyjack »
/b] Cheers, Jack


“Remember, when you are dead, you do not know you are dead. It is only painful for others.
The same applies when you are stupid.”― Ricky Gervais

les303

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Re: More or Les (was Bloody Plurals)
« Reply #4649 on: August 28, 2020, 01:40:58 PM »
That's a bit of a disappointment Jack, i was expecting to see Sealy adorned with a very clever & humorous personalized number plate.
Never mind, now that i have planted the seed, you have plenty of time to squirrel away a few hundred dollars ( they aren't cheap ) & come up with something appropriate that you could perhaps give to June for a Christmas present. :-C

You have probably explained it earlier but i am too lazy to pour through pages of old posts to find out how Sealy got her nickname?