Author Topic: More or Les (was Bloody Plurals)  (Read 358709 times)

Valerie

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Re: More or Les (was Bloody Plurals)
« Reply #4425 on: July 27, 2020, 06:46:49 AM »
Hi Pen
Jack is obviously a tad preoccupied at present so I really should have enlightened you myself.  I've always loved the way Australians play with the English language.  I'm a Scot so it took me a while to come to grips with it.  Anyway, when it's a cold night, you sleep with one dog in the bed to keep you warm. Colder is two dogs.  And on a really bitter night, it's a Three Dog Night!
Cheers Val
« Last Edit: July 27, 2020, 07:00:08 AM by Valerie »
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Valerie

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Re: More or Les (was Bloody Plurals)
« Reply #4426 on: July 27, 2020, 08:40:02 AM »
Hi Jack
Interesting what you say about the pups bonding with each other rather than with humans.  My partner and I have been discussing your conundrum about choosing one and he said that what a lot of people do is to let a pup choose you. 
Cheers Val
I'll sleep in my next life

Ozzyjack

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Re: More or Les (was Bloody Plurals)
« Reply #4427 on: July 27, 2020, 04:26:25 PM »
he said that what a lot of people do is to let a pup choose you. 

Hi Val,

I think that might be what the exercise in three weeks' time will be about.  As I understand it, the four prospective owners (groups) will have activities with the pups and I suspect the reaction of the pups to each group will be critically observed.

You were right about me being preoccupied at the moment.  There are no big jobs left to do until we move in next week and start unpacking boxes but there are a number of little things not to let slip between the cracks and the boys are of an age where they still appreciate some grandparent time.
« Last Edit: July 27, 2020, 04:29:39 PM by Ozzyjack »
Cheers, Jack


“Not every puzzle is intended to be solved. Some are in place to test your limits. Others are, in fact, not puzzles at all...” ― Vera Nazarian, The Perpetual Calendar of Inspiration  

Hobbit

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Re: More or Les (was Bloody Plurals)
« Reply #4428 on: July 27, 2020, 06:52:32 PM »
Quote
I've always loved the way Australians play with the English language.  I'm a Scot so it took me a while to come to grips with it.  Anyway, when it's a cold night, you sleep with one dog in the bed to keep you warm. Colder is two dogs.  And on a really bitter night, it's a Three Dog Night!

Oh Val I love that - made me howl with laughter :laugh:
Have you been away from Scotland a long time?  Do you still have your lovely accent?
Pen

Hobbit

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Re: More or Les (was Bloody Plurals)
« Reply #4429 on: July 27, 2020, 07:05:47 PM »
Quote
You were right about me being preoccupied at the moment.  There are no big jobs left to do until we move in next week and start unpacking boxes but there are a number of little things not to let slip between the cracks and the boys are of an age where they still appreciate some grandparent time.

Hi Jack

Can't believe you're moving in already!  That seems lovely & quick :) 
Are the nights very warm where you are now?  I didn't know if the temperatures dropped after dark!  I was thinking that if it's quite hot in bed then one dog is more than adequate :laugh:


Ozzyjack

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Re: More or Les (was Bloody Plurals)
« Reply #4430 on: July 27, 2020, 09:43:55 PM »
Hi Pen,

I hope your weekend continued to go well.

I’ve got a little joke that used to be funny until COVID-19.

Blue’s doctor pumped him full of antibiotics to help him get over an infection.  In fact, he gave him so many, when Blue sneezed on a bus he cured five other passengers.

Blue told me Sheila has a dreadful memory.  I asked him does she forget everything.  “No,” says Blue, “it’s worse than that.  She remembers absolutely everything”.

We have had a cold spell here.  The nights sometimes get down below 50oF and the days struggle to get to 70oF, but most days it is warmer.

     
Cheers, Jack


“Not every puzzle is intended to be solved. Some are in place to test your limits. Others are, in fact, not puzzles at all...” ― Vera Nazarian, The Perpetual Calendar of Inspiration  

Valerie

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Re: More or Les (was Bloody Plurals)
« Reply #4431 on: July 27, 2020, 10:01:29 PM »
Hi Pen,
Born in Scotland.  Father was mining engineer so we lived all over the world - Africa, South America, Thailand.  Schooling was everywhere including a wonderful expat boarding school in Penang, Malaysia.  Emigrated to Australia many moons ago.  Unfortunately, I don't have a Scottish accent because of all the travel.  I'm a true blue Aussie now and have driven and sailed around this amazing country many times.  I still like to travel the world but am more into wild places than people places.  CoVid however has put a stop to all that!  We've had some nasty weather here the last several days.  Definitely a Three-Dog-Night tonight!  Pity I don't have a dog.  Nighty nighty...pyjama pyjama...
Val
« Last Edit: July 27, 2020, 10:31:28 PM by Valerie »
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Hobbit

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Re: More or Les (was Bloody Plurals)
« Reply #4432 on: July 27, 2020, 10:32:05 PM »
You are very lucky Val to have been to so many wonderful places.  I was at a boarding school in Buckingham many moons ago.  A lot of my fellow boarders were forces children - mostly RAF.  Come the holidays they'd be off to all sorts of great places.  One girl's dad was on a secondment to the Malaysian Air Force & they spent a couple of years there near Kuala Lumpur.  She loved it.
Covid is a blasted curse in so many different ways.  My day to day life is horrible now - having to wear a mask all the time.  Makes me as deaf as a post!  It's such a shame for people like yourself who love to travel.

In the absence of 1 dog - let alone three - I could recommend an electric blanket.  No match for a dog but lovely in the winter when the weather's cold :laugh:

Night night sleep tight
Pen

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Re: More or Les (was Bloody Plurals)
« Reply #4433 on: July 27, 2020, 11:30:08 PM »
Hi Jack

My weekend was lovely thanks but it now seems like a distant memory as I'm back at the coalface :(

Your jokes & cartoons made me chuckle :laugh:  in spite of Covid!

      

Leave you with a couple of naff jokes!
Saw a golf buggy parked in a disabled bay this morning and I thought to myself, "I wonder what his handicap is?"

I once met a guy from Australia who worked in IT...
I asked, "Do you come from a LAN down under?"

My wife has this weird OCD where she arranges the dinner plates by the year they were bought...
It's an extremely rare dish order!

Better get back to the grindstone...


Hobbit

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Re: More or Les (was Bloody Plurals)
« Reply #4434 on: July 27, 2020, 11:34:19 PM »
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ps  just had a thought - you need to change your location to somewhere a fair bit warmer :laugh:


Ozzyjack

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Re: More or Les (was Bloody Plurals)
« Reply #4435 on: July 28, 2020, 09:06:44 PM »
Hi Pen,

Just a quickie tonight.

Blue has a friend Jock originally from Glasgow.  Jock asked Blue this question:

How do you tell the difference between an Australian Police Officer, an English Police Officer, an American Police Officer and a Scottish police officer?

The answer is found below....
 
Suddenly, an armed man with a huge knife comes around the corner, locks eyes with you and screaming something that sounds like obscenities, raises the knife and lunges at you.  You are carrying your truncheon and are an expert in using it. However, you have only a split second to react before he reaches you. What do you do?
 
ANSWERS:
 
English Police Officer:

Firstly, the Officer must consider the man's human rights.
  • 1: Does the man look poor and/or oppressed?
  • 2: Is he newly arrived in this country and does not yet understand the law?
  • 3: Is this really a knife or a ceremonial dagger?
  • 4: Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack?
  • 5: Am I dressed provocatively?
  • 6: Could I run away?
  • 7: Could I possibly swing my truncheon and knock the knife out of his hand?
  • 8: Should I try and negotiate with him to discuss his wrong-doings?
  • 9: Why am I carrying a truncheon anyway and what kind of message does this send to society?
  • 10: Does he definitely want to kill me or would he be content just to wound me?
  • 11: If I were to grab his knees and hold on, would he still want to stab and kill me?
  • 12: If I raise my truncheon and he turns and runs away, do I get blamed if he falls over, knocks his head and kills himself?
  • 13: If I hurt him and lose the subsequent court case, does he have the opportunity to sue me, cost me my job, my credibility and the loss of my family home?

Australian Police Officer:


BANG!
 
American Police Officer:
 
BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!

'Click'...Reload...

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!
 
Glasgow Police Officer:
"Haw, Jimmie! Drop the wee knifie son; rite noo, unless ye want it stuck up yer arse!"

Shades of crocodile Dundee
Cheers, Jack


“Not every puzzle is intended to be solved. Some are in place to test your limits. Others are, in fact, not puzzles at all...” ― Vera Nazarian, The Perpetual Calendar of Inspiration  

Hobbit

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Re: More or Les (was Bloody Plurals)
« Reply #4436 on: July 28, 2020, 09:10:09 PM »
Hi Jack

Just a quick visit before lunch :-H 

I found a silly joke that tickled me so I thought I'd share it.

A lady from Milton Keynes was having an affair during the day when her husband was at work.
One very wet and windy day she was in bed with her lover when, to her horror, she heard her husband's car pull  onto the drive. "Oh my God - Hurry! Grab your clothes and jump out the window. My husband's home early!"
"I can't jump out the window ~ It's pouring with rain out there!"
"If my husband catches us in here, he'll kill us both!" she replied. He's got a very nasty temper so the rain is the least of your problems!"
So the boyfriend scoots out of bed, grabs his clothes and jumps out the window!
As he ran down the street in the pouring rain, he quickly discovered he had run right into the middle of the town's annual marathon, so he started running along beside the others, about 300 of them.
Being naked, with his clothes tucked under his arm, he tried to blend in as best he could.
After a little while a small group of runners who had been watching him with some curiosity, jogged closer.
"Do you always run in the nude?" one asked.
"Oh yes!" he replied, gasping in air. "It feels so wonderfully free!"
Another runner moved along side. "Do you always run carrying your clothes with you under your arm?"
Oh , yes" our friend answered breathlessly. "That way I can get dressed right at the end of the run and get in my car to go home!
Then a third runner cast his eyes a little lower and queried, "Do you always wear a condom when you run? "
"Nope.........only when it's raining".



Just finished my post as yours appeared!  I loved your joke - very funny :laugh:
Pen

les303

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Re: More or Les (was Bloody Plurals)
« Reply #4437 on: July 29, 2020, 06:37:48 PM »
Hello Pen, Jack, Auntie Mo & all my other friends on the forum.
I know that i owe you all an apology & an explanation for my sudden departure from this site but i am just not sure how to deliver it.
Suffice to say that i have had a bit of a rough time over the last couple of years, compounded by some pretty significant health issues which i am only now finally beginning to overcome.
The only way that i can explain it is that i was so traumatised after my brothers death , every time i came on this this site i would just be overcome with emotion from all of your kind words of support , i just got to the point where i could not handle it any more so i just logged out to allow myself to deal with it in my own way.

Sincerely les303









blackrockrose

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Re: More or Les (was Bloody Plurals)
« Reply #4438 on: July 29, 2020, 07:15:50 PM »
Welcome back Les!

We've missed you!

Sorry to hear about your health problems, but glad to hear that you are beginning to overcome them.
« Last Edit: July 29, 2020, 07:18:07 PM by blackrockrose »

Alan W

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Re: More or Les (was Bloody Plurals)
« Reply #4439 on: July 29, 2020, 07:18:32 PM »
Welcome back, Les. So glad you feel able to join us again, mate.
Alan Walker
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