Author Topic: More or Les (was Bloody Plurals)  (Read 326394 times)

Ozzyjack

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Re: More or Les (was Bloody Plurals)
« Reply #4395 on: July 19, 2020, 08:17:27 PM »

So you have a swish golf course & a great beer garden all within spitting distance of your new gaffe  :laugh:  Not forgetting, of course, that the family are a mere hop & a skip away :)  A smashing new home &, hopefully, a new puppy in the near future.  I think it's fair to say that you & June have a 110% done the right thing.  Job's a good 'un :laugh:

We are tremendously lucky and fortunate,  Pen,  and you forgot the weather is Beautiful one day, Perfect the next

Two of the puppies appear to have their eyes open today.  I think we get to go visit them next Sunday although we were originally told 4 weeks.

I haven't been including long jokes lately because I've been a bit busy and it's hard to find good ones we haven't used before.  Even Peter FitzSimons hasn't passed the test for a few weeks but his joke of the week this morning, although an old one is worth repeating.



An atheist is out walking in the forest. Such a stunning day! The green trees! The blue skies! The bubbling brook! The rustling of the ... actually what is that rustling? He looks around to see a huge grizzly bear emerge from the bushes just behind him. In an instant, the bear has covered the ground between them, knocked the atheist to the ground and is just bringing his mighty jaws down with the clear intent of crushing the atheist's skull like a grape. All the atheist can do is to moan out a strangled, "Oh my God".

Time stops. The bear freezes. The forest falls silent, as the clouds part and a bright light shines right down upon him. A voice now comes from the heavens: "You! You deny my existence for decades and ridicule all others who say I exist. And now, only when you need me to save you, do you even utter my name with anything other than derision. Can you really expect me to help you? And if I do, can I count on you to be a believer for the rest of your days?"

The atheist looks directly into the light and says, "Lord, you're right. Even in these extreme circumstances, it would be hypocritical of me to become a Christian, but ... but perhaps you could at least make the bear a Christian?"

There is a pause, as God in his heaven reflects. And then He speaks again: "Very well."

The light disappears, and again the brook bubbles, the rabbits run free and life resumes as normal. And now the bear stills his crushing jaws to bring his massive paws together, bow his head and say, "Lord, bless this food which I am about to receive, and for which I am truly thankful."

     
Cheers, Jack


If you think you are too small to make a difference, try sleeping with a mosquito. ― Dalai Lama

Hobbit

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Re: More or Les (was Bloody Plurals)
« Reply #4396 on: July 19, 2020, 11:58:13 PM »
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We are tremendously lucky and fortunate,  Pen,  and you forgot the weather is Beautiful one day, Perfect the next

Two of the puppies appear to have their eyes open today.  I think we get to go visit them next Sunday although we were originally told 4 weeks.

I think you may have mentioned the weather on a couple of occasions Jack :laugh:  Do hope you don't get too bored with it >:D
Please include a picture of the puppies if you get a chance this week :)

I know exactly what you mean about finding some decent jokes that we haven't already used!  I mean jokes or stories that actually make you laugh!  Anyway here's a couple of little ones.  Might make you chuckle!

A man and his wife are sitting in front of their PC, and trying to set up a new password. The husband types 'mypenis' as password. The wife immediately falls on ground laughing as she sees an error message on the computer screen that reads as "Error! Password's Not Long Enough."

Did you hear about the thoughtful Yorkshireman who was heading out to the pub? He turned to his wife before leaving and said, 'Jackie - put your hat and coat on love.' She replied, ' :-Oh Fred that's nice - are you taking me to the pub with you?' 'Nay, I'm just switching the central heating off while I'm out.'

      

Sun's come out so I'm going for a walk :)

« Last Edit: July 20, 2020, 12:02:21 AM by Hobbit »

Ozzyjack

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Re: More or Les (was Bloody Plurals)
« Reply #4397 on: July 20, 2020, 01:40:17 AM »
Hi Pen,

These were posted today.  I hope you can view them without being a Facebook viewer.

   

   
Cheers, Jack


If you think you are too small to make a difference, try sleeping with a mosquito. ― Dalai Lama

Hobbit

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Re: More or Les (was Bloody Plurals)
« Reply #4398 on: July 20, 2020, 04:13:46 AM »
Thanks Jack I can see them :)  They are adorable.  Would you like a black & white or brown & white one?  or don't you mind at all?

cmh

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Re: More or Les (was Bloody Plurals)
« Reply #4399 on: July 20, 2020, 06:36:47 AM »
The puppies are all beautiful!! One of the black and white ones seems to have some tan colour on it's face which is a bit more unusual but I think the little black and white one is the cutest!

Valerie

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Re: More or Les (was Bloody Plurals)
« Reply #4400 on: July 20, 2020, 10:01:21 AM »
All together now ..... aaaawwwww!!!!!  So adorable.
I'll sleep in my next life

Ozzyjack

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Re: More or Les (was Bloody Plurals)
« Reply #4401 on: July 20, 2020, 03:21:17 PM »
Hi Pen, Christine and Val,

I think the boys are black and white, the girls are brown and white.  We haven't expressed a preference for gender or colour to the breeder.


  The pups look pretty much the same as they did yesterday but this is a good family group.
« Last Edit: July 20, 2020, 04:05:37 PM by Ozzyjack »
Cheers, Jack


If you think you are too small to make a difference, try sleeping with a mosquito. ― Dalai Lama

Ozzyjack

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Re: More or Les (was Bloody Plurals)
« Reply #4402 on: July 20, 2020, 04:09:47 PM »
Dads don't get much credit.  This is Zep looking sullen after he has just been bathed.

« Last Edit: July 20, 2020, 04:36:36 PM by Ozzyjack »
Cheers, Jack


If you think you are too small to make a difference, try sleeping with a mosquito. ― Dalai Lama

2dognight

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Re: More or Les (was Bloody Plurals)
« Reply #4403 on: July 20, 2020, 06:08:47 PM »
I would  like the brown chunky one

Dad looks a lovely boy

Got me wanting another one but I hope I have a bit longer with my old girl

Carol


Hobbit

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Re: More or Les (was Bloody Plurals)
« Reply #4404 on: July 20, 2020, 07:24:00 PM »
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Dads don't get much credit.  This is Zep looking sullen after he has just been bathed.


That's brilliant Jack.  He looks exactly how I feel on this busy Monday morning :laugh:
The dogs & puppies have gone a long way towards cheering up my day :)

          


Valerie

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Re: More or Les (was Bloody Plurals)
« Reply #4405 on: July 20, 2020, 08:30:04 PM »
Totally agree, Pen.  My day has been so much better for seeing them.  I want them all!
I'll sleep in my next life

Ozzyjack

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Re: More or Les (was Bloody Plurals)
« Reply #4406 on: July 21, 2020, 09:29:48 PM »
Hi Pen,

I read today that when the plague was finally over, the populace engaged in wine drinking and orgies. By the time COVI-19 is over I am not sure I will be up to it.

       

« Last Edit: July 21, 2020, 09:31:25 PM by Ozzyjack »
Cheers, Jack


If you think you are too small to make a difference, try sleeping with a mosquito. ― Dalai Lama

Hobbit

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Re: More or Les (was Bloody Plurals)
« Reply #4407 on: July 21, 2020, 11:24:21 PM »
Quote
I read today that when the plague was finally over, the populace engaged in wine drinking and orgies. By the time COVI-19 is over I am not sure I will be up to it.

Hi Jack

I think I might be with you on that one :laugh:  You do have a lot to contend with at the moment with your move as well!

          


Ozzyjack

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Re: More or Les (was Bloody Plurals)
« Reply #4408 on: July 22, 2020, 04:56:48 PM »
Hi Pen,

I think my kids laugh at me because they think Im crazy.  I laugh because they dont know its hereditary.

Taaffeite are keen with the photos but they are not much different from day to day.

   


     

Did I tell you Blue and his family have moved to Queensland?  He was driving Sheila home after a hard day shopping in Brisbane when he gets pulled over by a cop for doing two Kph over the speed limit. When the cop saw blue had a NSW licence, he gave him long lecture on how things were different in Queensland. Blues patience was wearing thin.

"Tell me mate: would it be a crime for me to insult you? Hypothetically speaking, of course - I think the police are wonderful - but in theory, could you arrest me if I said you were a nasty bastard?"

Cop: "Yes sir. That would count as disorderly conduct."

"What about if I were just to think it?"

Cop: "No sir. You can think whatever you like."

"In that case, I think you're a nasty bastard."



Cheers, Jack


If you think you are too small to make a difference, try sleeping with a mosquito. ― Dalai Lama

Hobbit

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Re: More or Les (was Bloody Plurals)
« Reply #4409 on: July 22, 2020, 09:36:46 PM »
Hi Jack

I'm off work now until next Monday :)  Been shopping this morning & visiting my friend Barbs for a cuppa & a chinwag this afternoon.

I love the pictures of the dogs & puppies - I don't really care if they're similar.  Just a real pleasure to see them :)

I was very pleased to read that Blue & his family have moved to Queensland :laugh:

Blue's friend Bruce went to the police station and asked to speak to the burglar who had broken into his house the previous night. 'You'll get your chance in court,' the desk Sergeant Kelly told him. 'I have to know how he got into the house without waking my wife,' pleaded Bruce. 'I've been trying to do that for years.'

Will and Guy discovered that a 2011 study found that the average Australian walks about 900 miles a year.  Another study found that Australians drink an average of 22 gallons of beer a year.  That means, on average, Australians get about 41 miles per gallon.

      

A quick salmon sarnie & a cup of builders :-H  &