Oh Jack you're very very naughty teasing me like that
I'm bursting with curiosity now! If you're packing that means you're off on a trip somewhere...spill the beans!
Your Blue joke was very funny
I've had a very busy day so I'm just popping in this evening. My sauvignon blanc is chilling nicely in the fridge & I have a new Midsomer Murders to enjoy it with
Problem is it has clowns in it (the programme not the wine
) so I don't know if I'll like it. Can't explain why but they give me the willies.
What would you get if you cross a trumpet and a serpent?
A snake in the brass.
A woman woke her husband one night and said, 'There's a burglar in the kitchen eating my home-made steak and kidney pie!'
'Oh dear: said her husband. 'Who shall I call, police or ambulance?'
Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson went on a camping trip. After a good meal and a bottle of wine they lay down for the night, and went to sleep. Some hours later, Holmes awoke and nudged his faithful friend awake. "Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see."
Watson replied, "I see millions and millions of stars."
"What does that tell you?" Holmes questioned.
Watson pondered for a minute. "Astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo. Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three. Theologically, I can see that God is all powerful and that we are small and insignificant. Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. What does it tell you?"
Holmes was silent for a minute, then spoke. "Watson, you idiot. Someone has stolen our tent."
My armchair is calling me
Whatever you're up to I