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Author Topic: More or Les (was Bloody Plurals)  (Read 192994 times)
whisky
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« Reply #3150 on: December 04, 2019, 05:22:55 PM »

Jack .. Thanks for the whisky themed jokes.

I confess I am the Cellar Master at a Melbourne Whisky tasting Club.
It is my role to procure 'interesting' whiskies, using Club funds, for the members to savour at our quarterly meetings.
I then do a little write-up for the amusement of the members.
I always try and include at least one anecdote.

Four meetings a year, x 6 whiskies at each meeting.
That's 24 different whiskies per annum.
I have been in the role for circa 15 years.
So I have found well over 300 different whiskies ( just a few repeats of the most excellent ones ).
It is also a lot of anecdotes to locate.

Why I am I smiling ?
Tomorrow is a meeting !

Sometimes I drink my whisky neat.
Other times I loosen my tie and let my shirt tail hang out.

Michael
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Hobbit
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« Reply #3151 on: December 04, 2019, 07:21:07 PM »

Boom Boom!  very funny Michael!  From what Jack has said previously I wrongly assumed you were in Scotland.  I couldn't be further wrong!  I did have a quick look at Google maps to see how far Jack would have to travel to join your Whisky tasting club Demon  Bit of a hike from Bowral to Melbourne laugh
Enjoy your meeting tomorrow

Penny
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« Reply #3152 on: December 04, 2019, 08:08:48 PM »

Hi Jack

I've had a struggle with your earlier challenge & all I've come up with is Battle of Jericho which it obviously isn't as it doesn't fit the word pattern.  I'll try & get back to it later on.  I've had a lot more success with 'Swing Low Sweet Chariot' Smiley  Is it 'a group of angels coming after me'?  Doesn't sound quite right Huh?  I have to confess that I know this song from rugby Embarrassed

Once you’ve seen one rugby joke, you’ve seen a maul!
I had a go at rugby the other day….I thought I was doing pretty well but all everyone kept saying was, “Nice try,”… Condescending bastards.
They’ve invented a new version of rugby where only people who wear glasses can play it. It’s a non-contact sport.

Glad to read that Blue's back on form!  I did appreciate the whisky related cartoons Smiley  My sloe vodka is coming along nicely - I give it a good shake every day.  Sadly it wont be ready in time for Christmas.


This is Hagar the Horrible. See what you think.  He used to be in one of our newspapers but I forget which one!


4, 3, 4, 2, 3, 8
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Ozzyjack
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« Reply #3153 on: December 04, 2019, 09:07:55 PM »

 Hi Pen,

i posted early today because we went to the gym Christmas party tonight and then early to bed because we have an early golf game tomorrow.  The alarm is set for 5.30.

i had just turned in and turned the light out but I thought I’d fire up the iPad before snoozing off.

I have to disagree with you about the Battle of Jericho  not fitting the pattern.  They are the 3rd to 6th words.  As you probably didn’t bring your bible to work with you, I will be kind and let you know the sixth book of the bible is Joshua..  That’s a nice artist’s impression of him in the first picture.

You are right about the angels coming after me but it can’t be a group because that has 5 letters and the pattern specifies 4.

Great rugby jokes. Hagar is my favourite comic character. You mightn’t remember but I originally used him as my avatar before I  started using photographs.

Keep smiling when you and George get back to the coal face.
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Cheers, Jack


"Blue has a few kangaroos loose in the top paddock" - Sheila
Ozzyjack
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« Reply #3154 on: December 04, 2019, 09:11:13 PM »

Hi Michael,

I can’t imagine you being anything else but neat. Cheesy

Have a great meeting tomorrow.
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"Blue has a few kangaroos loose in the top paddock" - Sheila
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« Reply #3155 on: December 05, 2019, 05:54:13 AM »

Hi Jack

Blimey that took a bit of sorting out Shocked  'Joshua fought the Battle of Jericho & the walls came a tumbling down'.  11/10 for ingenuity.  Made my brain hurt laugh
Is it a band of angels coming after me?

I'd totally forgotten that your avatar was Hagar!

I'm going to slump in front of the box in a few minutes & watch some toot telly! First I'm going to check if my poor brain cell has anything left to give after you've worn it out laugh

Penx
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Ozzyjack
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« Reply #3156 on: December 05, 2019, 07:22:11 PM »

Made my brain hurt laugh

Well that is really good because that's the objective.  The easy peasies give a sense of achievement for little effort but the ones that stretch you have the same benefits as crosswords, chihuahua and other mind games.  Setting puzzles so they are not obvious but not so cryptic that they are almost impossible serves the same purpose.  There endeth the lesson.

Write-ups.

Swing Low

Joshua

Actually Joshua and his followers weren't what we we consider today to be very nice people - Did God become more merciful after the birth of Jesus  - please discuss.

Quote from:  Wikipedia

 Following God's law they killed every man, woman, and child, as well as the oxen, sheep, and donkeys. Only Rahab, a Canaanite prostitute who had sheltered the spies, her parents, brothers and all "those who belonged to her" were spared. Joshua then cursed anybody who rebuilt the foundations and gates, with the deaths of their firstborn and youngest child respectively


I am a bit tired tonight.  I may get back after a nap.


 
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"Blue has a few kangaroos loose in the top paddock" - Sheila
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« Reply #3157 on: Yesterday at 03:11:19 AM »

Hi Jack

I've had a day off today which was busy but very enjoyable Smiley  I had lunch at a local garden centre with a couple of old work friends who are both happily retired.  I've also done a few chores & a bit of shopping.

I'm now enjoying a cuppa & contemplating what to cook for my dinner.

Joshua & his followers sound positively rotten & quite barbaric.  I have to confess that I haven't looked at a bible since school which was many moons ago.  It does sound as if God certainly became more merciful after the birth of Jesus. My knowledge & memory are quite sketchy on these matters so I can't really offer much of an opinion.
I don't want to


I know it's too easy peasy but I'm a bit tired & hungry Hungry

   

That's it my tummy's rumbling laugh




« Last Edit: Yesterday at 05:42:30 PM by Hobbit » Logged
Ozzyjack
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« Reply #3158 on: Yesterday at 03:57:50 PM »

I've had a day off today which was busy but very enjoyable Smiley  I had lunch at a local garden centre with a couple of old work friends who are both happily retired.
 
I know it's too easy peasy but I'm a bit tired & hungry Hungry

It sounds like you had a very satisfying day, Pen.  Good on you.  Was there a touch of envy that they were enjoying their retirement? Huh?  Does this mean you have a long weekend?  I really enjoyed those cartoons -very clever.

All the puzzles are easy, Pen, when you know the answer.  I struggled with yours but recognising Yusuf Islam finally gave gave me an answer was it (3 3 3 5 3 7)?

How are you on Nursery Rhymes, Pen.  Just the first line of this one or in some versions it is written as two lines and it is unpunctuated.  

3 5 3 4 2 4 2 3 3 8 3  Now, this one is easy.


.

Oil and Balsamic and Savignon Blanc calls.

To be continued  ...
« Last Edit: Yesterday at 04:00:02 PM by Ozzyjack » Logged

Cheers, Jack


"Blue has a few kangaroos loose in the top paddock" - Sheila
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« Reply #3159 on: Today at 12:08:26 AM »

 

Blue and his mate were staggering home from the pub one night when his mate gets hit by a car.  Luckily, Blue had his mobile phone with him and he rings for an ambulance.  This is the transcript of the phone call:

Quote
Blue: "Get an ambulance here quick, me mate’s been hit by a car and he's bleeding from his nose and ears and I think both his legs are broken"

Operator: "What is your location sir?"

Blue: "On Eucalyptus Street"

Operator: "How do you spell that sir?"

Silence....(heavy breathing) and after a minute....

Operator: "Are you there sir?"

More heavy breathing and another minute later....

Operator: "Sir, can you hear me?"

This goes on for another few minutes until....

Operator: "Sir, please answer me, Can you still hear me?"

Blue: "Yes, sorry about that....I couldn't spell eucalyptus, so I just dragged him around to Oak Street.  O.A.K"

That reminded me of the time Blue and Sheila were expecting a baby.  On the way to the hospital, they realised they were not going to make it in time, so Blue called 000 for an ambulance to meet them. The operator asked if this was the woman’s first child, and Blue said, “No, this is her husband.

Enjoy your Friday if this is a day off, Pen, and if it is not, endure it.   Cheesy
« Last Edit: Today at 12:15:25 AM by Ozzyjack » Logged

Cheers, Jack


"Blue has a few kangaroos loose in the top paddock" - Sheila
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« Reply #3160 on: Today at 01:52:19 AM »

Hi Jack

I've had another enjoyable day - getting spoilt!  Been to the pub for lunch with a friend.  Sausage sarnie & chips- very yummy Smiley  I'm off to pick Zoe up in a minute & leave her at a different pub for a meal & a drink with her friends.  Means she can have a drink & not worry about driving.  Thankfully I haven't got to turn out to pick her up later.  It's howling a gale & lashing down with rain here Sad  Not very pleasant.

I thought your earlier puzzle very appropriate in the circumstances.  The Grand Old Duke of York is having a somewhat difficult time at the moment Demon  (don't think 10,000 men would help him much at the minute laugh)

Loved the Blue jokes.  Especially the first one laugh

   

Better dash!!  Don't want a



« Last Edit: Today at 01:54:06 AM by Hobbit » Logged
Ozzyjack
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« Reply #3161 on: Today at 02:11:07 PM »

I've had another enjoyable day - getting spoilt!   I'm off to pick Zoe up in a minute & leave her at a different pub for a meal & a drink with her friends.  Means she can have a drink & not worry about driving.  

The Grand Old Duke of York is having a somewhat difficult time at the moment Demon  (don't think 10,000 men would help him much at the minute laugh)

Pen, you’ve found two of the secrets of happiness.  Spoil yourself more often, do good deeds for others that make you feel good inside.

The ten thousand men might keep the Duke away from the 17 YO girls. laugh

Because I didn’t have a letter count, I am not sure about the answer to your puzzle.  The problem is whether to use “round” or “around”.  Consulting google, the expressions appear to have equal popularity.  Also, when I first looked at it on the iPad it was not clear if Fred Flintstone was part of the puzzle.  On the laptop it was clear that there was a separation.

When I was reading an article on Australian Humour I came across a section entitled “Quick guide to Australian Culture “  I thought most were ordinary but here are a few that I thought might be worth repeating.
    •   The shorter the nickname, the more they like you.  Goodonyer, Blue
    •   Whether its the opening of Parliament, or the launch of a new art gallery, there is no Australian event that cannot be improved by a sausage sizzle.
    •   On the beach, all Australians hide their keys and wallet by placing them inside their sandshoes. No thief has ever worked this out. We might have very stupid thieves or really stinky sandshoes.
    •   Industrial design knows of no article more useful than the milk crate.
    •   It is proper to refer to your best friend as "a total bastard". By contrast, your worst enemy is "a bit of a bastard".
    •   If it can't be fixed with pantyhose and fencing wire, it's not worth fixing.
    •   Out in the bush, the tarred road always ends just after the house of the local mayor.
    •   On picnics, the Esky is always too small, creating a food versus grog battle problem that can only ever be resolved by leaving the salad at home.
    •   When on a country holiday, the motel neon advertising the pool will always be slightly larger than the actual pool.
    •   The men are tough, but the women are tougher.
    •   There comes a time in every Australian's life when one realises that the Aeroguard is far, far worse than the flies.
    •   And, finally, don't let the tourist books fool you. No-one says "cobber".

 


I’ll get this lot posted while I take my time trying to figure out a testing but achievable challenge.
« Last Edit: Today at 02:15:08 PM by Ozzyjack » Logged

Cheers, Jack


"Blue has a few kangaroos loose in the top paddock" - Sheila
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