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Author Topic: More or Les (was Bloody Plurals)  (Read 186012 times)
Ozzyjack
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Southern Highlands, NSW.


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« Reply #3030 on: November 05, 2019, 08:25:40 PM »

Hi Pen,

That was a clever one but I think it might be Curiosity Killed the Cat.  I am assuming Wild Cat Blues was the association with George Melly.

My challenge today is not in the WWW but I am assured it is a well known British idiom.  It would certainly apply to Boris Johnson’s Brexit proposal. 4,5,4,1,5,6 and it is so easy.



This is not funny but I think it is cute and is feel-good.

Click here to see if you agree.

This one’s not funny either but it is not feel-good if you're an Aussie.



Blue delivered the load of hay and he needed to get back quick because the next day was his son Ocker’s birthday.  So, he got his mate to drive the road train back down south and he hired a GT V8 to get home quickly, figuring he was safe from being caught on those deserted outback roads, because you can see other vehicles miles away.  He was wrong.  Those Queensland cops are like chameleons and Blue got pulled over for speeding.

The cop walked to his car window, flipping open his ticket book, when Blue said with a cheeky grin, 'I bet you are going to sell me a ticket to the Queensland Policeman's Ball. 'The Cop replied, ' Queensland policemen don't have balls.' There was a moment of silence. He just realized what he'd said, closed his book, got back in his patrol car and left.

Now Ocker was old enough to drive he borrowed a mate’s car and got his driving licence.

He then asked his dad if he could borrow the ute.

Blue was not all that keen on his son hooning around in his beloved V8 Holden, so he set some conditions; "You bring your grades up from a C to a B average, study your bible a little, and get your hair cut. Then we'll talk about the ute"

Ocker thought about that for a moment, decided he'd settle for the offer, and they agreed on it.

After about six weeks Blue said, 'mate, you've brought your grades up and I noticed that you have been studying your bible, but you haven't had your hair cut'.

Ocker said, 'You know, Dad, I've noticed in my studies of the bible that Samson had long hair, John the Baptist had long hair, Moses had long hair...and there's even strong evidence that Jesus had long hair.'

To this Blue replied, 'Yes, and did you also notice they all walked everywhere they went?'


 
« Last Edit: November 05, 2019, 08:30:38 PM by Ozzyjack » Logged

Cheers, Jack


“That desire which is in us all to better other people’s condition by having them think as we think - Mark Twain in .
What is Man”
Hobbit
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Posts: 1443


Bletchley, Buckinghamshire, England


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« Reply #3031 on: November 06, 2019, 02:01:07 AM »

Hi Jack

I had it in my head that the nickname for jazz musicians was cat.  It's quite possible that I've just made that up laugh

It took a lot of work with my little grey cell but I think your puzzle is 'more holes than a Swiss cheese'.  I have heard of it but I would probably say more holes than a colander!  The grandparents story made me smile & your jokes & cartoons made me properly chuckle laugh

          



Nearly home time
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Ozzyjack
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Posts: 1258


Southern Highlands, NSW.


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« Reply #3032 on: November 06, 2019, 09:51:03 AM »

Hi Pen,

I had a quick go at your sign off when I got back from the gym and it completely completely bamboozled me.  And as you didn’t give me a pattern, I went off on all sorts of tangents.

1st image: one of Gringotts bank-tellers  Warwick Davis  Harry Potter Griphook  Wicket the Ewok  Yoda's  Kedpin Shoklop  Weeteef Cyu-Bee Weazel, Wicket Widget Warrick The Seven Dwarfs of Auschwitz height-challenged Patsy Tenable Leslie Bibb Golden Globes.
2nd image: and
3rd Image:  Pavlova desert dessert ballet dancer Anna Balerina Russian  Rushing

Then I gave up and took Zephyr for a walk through the bush and half round I had a thought.  Was Pen describing her own post.  Was it 5,3,5?  Could be but the first 5 is a bit non PC.  Second 5 unlikely. It is not like Pen to boast about her posts, so I rejected the thought.

Anyway, I’ve run out of time as our regular golf partner is back from two months touring around the UK and Europe and has arranged a golf game for us this morning.
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Cheers, Jack


“That desire which is in us all to better other people’s condition by having them think as we think - Mark Twain in .
What is Man”
Hobbit
Glossologian
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Posts: 1443


Bletchley, Buckinghamshire, England


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« Reply #3033 on: November 06, 2019, 09:42:40 PM »

Hi Jack

You were absolutely correct it was short & sweet & I feel a bit awful now.  I was rushing to finish & didn't think about it & you are right it is non PC.  You have to be so careful about everything you say these days Embarrassed  Mind you if I described Michael Jordan as tall would that cause me trouble as well?

Earl addressed the ball and took a magnificent swing but somehow, something went wrong and a horrible slice resulted.
The ball went onto the adjoining fairway and hit a man full force and he dropped! Earl and his partner ran up to the stricken victim who lay unconscious with the ball between his feet.
"Good heavens" exclaimed Earl, "what shall I do?"
"Don't move him" said his partner, "if we leave him here he becomes an immovable obstruction and you can either play the ball as it lies or take a two club length drop."

      

An older couple are playing in the annual Husband & Wife Club Championship. They are playing in a play-off hole and it is down to a 6 inch putt that the wife has to make.
She takes her stance and her husband can see her trembling. She putts and misses, they lose the match.
On the way home in the car her husband is fuming.
" I can't believe you missed that putt! That putt was no longer than my 'willy'."
The wife just looked over at her husband and smiled and said, "Yes dear, but it was much harder!"

I figured I

asaas,a
5, 2, 4, 2, 4, 3, 1, 5, 2, 1, 4

Hope you enjoyed your golf with your old friend Smiley
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Ozzyjack
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Posts: 1258


Southern Highlands, NSW.


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« Reply #3034 on: November 07, 2019, 01:02:34 AM »

I feel a bit awful now.
Hope you enjoyed your golf with your old friend Smiley

Hi Pen,

There is absolutely no reason to feel awful.  I was pulling your leg and trying (unsuccessfully) to be funny.  Now I feel awful.  When I got the answer I thought it was a very clever challenge.  June got it straight away.  The other thing I was trying to point out in my ham-fisted way was the number of possibilities a good puzzle offers if you don't get on the same wave length as the sender and therefore the value of giving a pattern.  I twigged your sign off today very quickly.  Baah  Demon

I really enjoyed your golfing jokes and cartoons.  The Snoopy one reminded me of a joke in one of my books on improving your mental skills to play better golf.  It went roughly like this:

I came across this old guy obviously searching under a lamp post for something.  I asked him what he was looking for and he said, "my car keys".  When I had concluded they weren't there I asked him where he thought he had lost them.  "Over there in that dark alley" was the reply.  "Why in the blue blazes are we looking for them here", I snarled.

"Because the light is better here."

I did enjoy our game with our old friend. Actually, he is our young friend, he is only 66.  Grin  Apart from the obvious reasons he hadn't played for 2 months and was a bit rusty and had the worst score, so he had to buy the Lotto tickets.  I am playing with him again today (tomorrow for you) and another friend from Tasmania who is passing through.  He was a work colleague and I haven't seen him since I retired.

   

A few non PC jokes.  It will become obvious they originated from America.

I was walking down the street and I punched of a white guy and then I was arrested for assault. The next day after I got out, I punched a black guy and I was arrested for impersonating a police officer.

A worldwide survey was conducted by the UN. The only question asked was: "Would you please give your honest opinion about solutions to the food shortage in the rest of the world?" The survey was a huge failure. In Africa they didn't know what "food" meant. In Eastern Europe they didn't know what "honest" meant. In Western Europe they didn't know what "shortage" meant. In China they didn't know what "opinion" meant. In the Middle East they didn't know what "solution" meant. In South America they didn't know what "please" meant. And in the USA they didn't know what "the rest of the world" meant.

Politicians and diapers have one thing in common: they should both be changed regularly… and for the same reason.

We used to have Reagan, Johnny Cash, and Bob Hope. Now we have Trump, no cash, and no hope.


That's the best I can do at this time of the morning but I'll leave you with this puzzle. (2,3,2,4).



 Zzzz Zzzz Zzzz
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Cheers, Jack


“That desire which is in us all to better other people’s condition by having them think as we think - Mark Twain in .
What is Man”
Hobbit
Glossologian
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Posts: 1443


Bletchley, Buckinghamshire, England


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« Reply #3035 on: November 07, 2019, 07:24:07 AM »

Hi Jack

I am a proper numpty laugh  I did think that you were pulling my leg then a little bit of doubt crept in & I overthought it.  Should know you well enough by now!  Was your puzzle 'a stitch in time saves nine?' Demon  Sorry I did get 'so far, so good' laugh

I loved your non PC cartoons & jokes laugh  Very funny!

I am extremely happy that it's Thursday tomorrow.  I hope you have a great round of golf Smiley  I expect that as our weather is deteriorating yours is improving.  Zoe went to away to Devon for a few days to look at the sky.  It's been wall to wall rain & she's coming home 2 days early tomorrow.  Such a shame.

Got to be up for work & it's getting late so I'm soon going to

3, 2, 3
It's probably not expression you've ever come across but it's easily guessable!

« Last Edit: November 07, 2019, 07:26:14 AM by Hobbit » Logged
Ozzyjack
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Southern Highlands, NSW.


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« Reply #3036 on: November 07, 2019, 08:24:17 PM »

Hi Pen.

That was a superb challenge.  You were right in that I had never heard the expression before. I would never have got it without the letter count and even then when I went to the internet to check whether I was right only Urban Dictionary confirmed it.  A couple wanted me to believe it meant "inject the drug.  I won't be more specific at this stage in case others are still struggling with it.

It was another great game of golf today even if I was the one who had to buy the Lotto tickets.  It’s good to catch up with old friends.

Ozzymandias has come up to visit with us for a week and so we felt excused for brushing the cobwebs off the scotch bottle so I am sure you will forgive me if this post is short.  Sweet is up to you to judge.

This is tonight’s challenge 7,1,7,4


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Cheers, Jack


“That desire which is in us all to better other people’s condition by having them think as we think - Mark Twain in .
What is Man”
Hobbit
Glossologian
**
Posts: 1443


Bletchley, Buckinghamshire, England


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« Reply #3037 on: November 08, 2019, 01:04:57 AM »

Hi Jack

Work is quite gruesome so I'm thinking of abandoning the sinking ship! laugh  Leaving a bit early today & can't wait! 

Glad the golf with your old friends was enjoyable.  Hope the lotto tickets are winners Smiley  I was pleased to read that you've dusted the cobwebs off the scotch in honour of Andrew's visit laugh  Of course you haven't indulged since his last visit Demon

Brain cells are a bit frazzled so no challenge from me at the moment.  Hopefully I'll have some inspiration later or tomorrow
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Hobbit
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« Reply #3038 on: November 08, 2019, 05:46:10 AM »

part deux...

I had a tricky patient earlier who had arrived a week early for her appointment.  I told her til I was
that she needed to come back next Thursday but she
a'

first part = 4, 2(remove 1st letter!), 3, 4
second part = 6, 1, 4, 2

My poor brain is worn out Sleepy
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Ozzyjack
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Southern Highlands, NSW.


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« Reply #3039 on: November 08, 2019, 05:29:50 PM »

Of course you haven't indulged since his last visit Demon

Hi Pen,

Only for medicinal purposes and not at all with the Scotch that was given as a present.   

Speaking of whisky, tomorrow we are going out to taste test some Australian single malt from the Joadja distillery.  Click here for some interesting history

You're getting better and betterer at setting and solving challenges.   I worked out the first part myself and I understand your condition was caused by lack of oxygen.  I got a bit of help from the smarter people in the household with the second.  Again it was an expression I hadn't heard before.  I am assuming it was cocked a deaf 'un.  At least I am learning some English idioms to impress Blue with.

Blue has a few stories of his own.  One day he was with a bunch of blokes in the changing room of Bowral Golf Club, the poshest in the Southern Highlands. A mobile phone on a bench rings and Blue engaged the hands free speaker-function and began to talk. Everyone else in the room stopped to listen.

BLUE: "Hello"

WOMAN: "Darling, it's me. Are you at the club?"

BLUE: "Yes"

WOMAN: "I am at the shopping centre and found this beautiful leather coat. It's only $2,000. Is it OK if I buy it?"

BLUE: "Sure,..go ahead if you like it that much."

WOMAN: "I also stopped by the Mercedes dealership and saw the new 2019 models. I saw one I really liked."

BLUE: "How much?"

WOMAN: "$70,000"

BLUE: "OK, but for that price I want it with all the options."

WOMAN: "Great! Oh, and one more thing ... The house I wanted last year is back on the market. They're asking $1850,000"

BLUE: "Well, then go ahead and give them an offer of $1800,000. They will probably take it. If not, we can go the extra 50 thousand. It really is a pretty good price."

WOMAN: "OK. I'll see you later! I love you so much!!"

BLUE: "Bye! I love you, too."

BLUE hangs up. The other blokes in the changing room are staring at him in astonishment, mouths agape..... He smiles and asks: "Anyone know who this phone belongs to?"

   


And I’ll leave you with this 3,6,3’1(delete the u),4,1,5


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Cheers, Jack


“That desire which is in us all to better other people’s condition by having them think as we think - Mark Twain in .
What is Man”
Hobbit
Glossologian
**
Posts: 1443


Bletchley, Buckinghamshire, England


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« Reply #3040 on: November 09, 2019, 05:56:15 AM »

Hi Jack

No1 daughter has come for her dinner & is staying over which is great as I haven't seen her for a couple of weeks.  It's cold & pouring with rain & some idiots in the road behind us are letting off fireworks Roll Eyes  We're only 3 days past Bonfire Night!

I might be improving solving the challenges but I think I'm suffering with brain freeze this evening!  It's been a long week & I think I've switched off laugh  I'll have to come back to it ....

I thought the Bluey joke was funny & a bit wicked!  Well chosen cartoons laugh

     

It looks like you'll have a good day out tomorrow (today?)  I did find the article about the Joadja distillery interesting.  You might even come home with a bottle to add to your collection Demon

I think I might have to

4, 3, 5
in a minute if I don't soon move myself!
Have a great day out Smiley
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Ozzyjack
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Posts: 1258


Southern Highlands, NSW.


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« Reply #3041 on: November 10, 2019, 02:51:58 AM »

It's cold & pouring with rain & some idiots in the road behind us are letting off fireworks Roll Eyes  We're only 3 days past Bonfire Night!.
I might be improving solving the challenges but I think I'm suffering with brain freeze this evening!

I hope you didn't have to face the music, Pen. 

Your idiots must have had a hard job lighting a bonfire.  Let's hope they got soaking wet.  Perhaps they were as successful (not) as Guy Fawkes and it took them three days to work out how to ignite the fireworks.

If you are still struggling with the challenge I will reluctantly give you a hint by pointing out an expression which parallels the answer. Why reluctant?  because I don't approve of the joke.

We had a great day at the Joadja distillery.
Our purchases were modest

The Anis was like the smoothest ouzo you’ve ever tasted.  Just think liquid black jellybeans.

The Pedro Ximenez comes in the barrels they import from Portugal for the whisky.   Apparently because the import charges are based on volume rather than weight it doesn't cost any more to import the casks full of wine.  It would be one of the best sweet sherries I have tasted but they are not allowed to call it sherry because of naming regulations.

The single malt was tasty but a little bit sharp being only a little over 2 years old.

Valero & Elisa were very welcoming, and Valero gave us a gratis tour of the distillery and a detailed explanation of all their processes which took over an hour before we had a tasting of their wares.

Valero is the good looking one

We had a great lunch at the McVitty Grove Café which they claim offers the most spectacular views of any café or restaurant in all of the Southern Highlands.

I can't match your cartoons and I am struggling to keep my eyes open, so I will end here with an easy challenge.  This idiom is very Aussie and a favourite of ex-prime Minister Kevin Rudd.  4,4,2,3,5,6


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Cheers, Jack


“That desire which is in us all to better other people’s condition by having them think as we think - Mark Twain in .
What is Man”
Hobbit
Glossologian
**
Posts: 1443


Bletchley, Buckinghamshire, England


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« Reply #3042 on: November 10, 2019, 03:15:28 AM »

Hi Jack
I trust you're full of excellent whisky & good food Smiley  It's a miserable dreary cold wet day here Sad  A proper November day.  Zoe & I sat through 2 hours & 40 minutes of A Towering Inferno last night accompanied by a good bottle of wine Smiley  It has stood the test of time quite well.  Probably helped by Paul Newman & Steve McQueen.  Our only complaint was that most of the women screamed hysterically & had a fainting fit every time things got a bit hairy Roll Eyes

     

 

A small random assortment. Some quite funny some not so!  Couldn't find any funny jokes in the allotted time laugh
Penx
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Hobbit
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« Reply #3043 on: November 10, 2019, 03:33:40 AM »

Sorry Jack was happily posting at the same time as you!  I got 'two wrongs don't make a right'!  Is today's 'fair suck of the sauce bottle'?  Very odd laugh

Enjoyed your post - sounds like you had a thoroughly enjoyable day out laugh  Your purchases might have been modest but they look jolly good.


here's a very easy one quickly!
of
3, 2, 3, 2, 3

Off to scoff my chicken biryani which most definitely is Hungry
« Last Edit: November 10, 2019, 03:36:12 AM by Hobbit » Logged
Ozzyjack
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Posts: 1258


Southern Highlands, NSW.


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« Reply #3044 on: November 10, 2019, 08:24:13 PM »

'fair suck of the sauce bottle'?  Very odd laugh
Your purchases might have been modest but they look jolly good.
Off to scoff my chicken biryani which most definitely is Hungry
 Zoe & I sat through 2 hours & 40 minutes of A Towering Inferno last night accompanied by a good bottle of wine Smiley

Hi Pen,

Spot on again. Another variation is fair suck of the sav – same meaning.  No odder than some of your Pommie idioms. Wink

Quote from: CNN Travel on Australian Idioms

33. Fair go, mate. Fair suck of the sauce bottle. Fair crack of the whip
Made famous by the ill-fated former Prime Minister Kevin Rudd, who enjoyed using Australian slang to speak to the electorate and often pleaded for a "fair suck." The phrase generally means that you want to be treated fairly.

"Fair suck" was coined by struggling Australian families who shared droppings of tomato sauce to flavour their meat. Such was the hard life that all they wanted was an equitable suck. In the fields, they needed a "fair crack of the whip." Fair go, mate.

I take it yours was not my cup of tea.

I am glad the photos came out in the middle of the post.  I can’t check whether I have got the share function for individual files in Dropbox right because all our devices have unlimited access to the whole data base.

Chicken Biryani is my favourite chicken dish.

A good bottle of wine (or two) was the reason we found ourselves posting at the same time.  After dinner I settled down at the laptop to finish off the draft I had made earlier in the day and I found myself nodding off, so i thought I would have a 10 minute nap to freshen up.  I put my head down and woke up over 4 hours later.

I’ve got an interesting week coming up.  The local Vets are putting on a week of golf.  So I had registration and a bar-b-cue this afternoon and will have golf on Monday, Tuesday, Thursday and Friday,  One round at each of the local courses.  Vets from all over NSW will be competing.  Wednesday, I must go to Sydney.  It is possible that my posts might get shorter and shorter as the week progresses.  Some of our readers will probably say ”what a relief”.

   

When Blue and Sheila were first married, they rented a house in Moss Vale.  The next morning while they are eating breakfast, Sheila sees her neighbor hanging her laundry outside.

That laundry is not very clean,” she says. “She doesn’t know how to wash correctly. Perhaps she needs better laundry soap.”

Blue looked on but remained silent.

Every time her neighbor would hang her laundry to dry, Sheila would make the same comments.

About one month later, Sheila was surprised to see a nice clean wash on the line and said to Blue, “Look, she has learned how to wash correctly. I wonder how that happened?”

Blue said, “I got up early this morning and cleaned our windows.”



And I guess I better finish by giving you a challenge  4,4,8,4,’5,4.


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Cheers, Jack


“That desire which is in us all to better other people’s condition by having them think as we think - Mark Twain in .
What is Man”
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