More or Les (was Bloody Plurals)

[Hobbit]

Thanks Jack.  I quite understand why you wouldn't risk being blown away in a blustery gale
I'm even more confused now.  I can't imagine that you're heading off to play golf while we're going to bed - I think
Don't know why I struggle with the time difference.
Very glad you're not struggling to much with the lack of water.
Loved Tracey Ullman.  We don't see her so much now.  I had it in my head that she headed off to America some time ago.
FORE!!  Happy Swinging
Pen

[Ozzyjack]

I'm even more confused now.  I can't imagine that you're heading off to play golf while we're going to bed - I think

I had it in my head that she headed off to America some time ago.

  Try this for for a scenario:

Thursday 3.30am SHAT^*-Wednesday 6.30 pm BET^#: Jack wakes up to answer a call of nature and on the way back to bed whips off a post to Pen.

5 am SHAT 8pm BET: Jack's alarm goes off and he gets up to breakfast , shave, shower and all those other alliterative things.

6.20 am SHAT 9.30 pm BET: Jack heads off for Sydney; Pen heads off for bed.  

* Southern Highlands Australian Time
# Bletchley English Time

You were dead right about your ex-neighbour Trace Ullmann.  I hadn't heard of her - shows how ignorant I am. Her Wikipaedia Bio

As penance here is
Tracey Ullman - Angela Merkel Skypes Donald Trump
and
Dave Allen Joke of the Day

11:45pm SHAT  2.45pm BET:  Jack goes back to Bed  Pen continues to slave away.

[Hobbit]

That's perfect Jack -makes so much more sense as well as being hilariously funny :laugh
Many years ago Tracey Ullmann was in a programme called Three Of A Kind with Lenny Henry & David Copperfield (not the American illusionist!)
Here's a small snippet
Medallion Man
I've no idea what happened to David Copperfield.  Have to consult Google.  Lenny Henry obviously went on to bigger & better things.
By my reckoning you are on the verge of a full English before heading off for a shower & shave....
Drive like Jason Day, chip like Tiger Woods but whatever you do don't putt like Rory McIlroy
Happy Friday
Pen

[Les303]

Having just come off the overnight shift, I was a bit bleary eyed & foggy of mind so I was actually a bit concerned for Jack when I first began to read his post as I thought that he had developed some alarming toilet habits along with a serious gambling problem.

[Ozzyjack]

I was actually a bit concerned for Jack when I first began to read his post as I thought that he had developed some alarming toilet habits along with a serious gambling problem.  

Dr Les Freud, I presume.  You spotted my slip. I might not totally agree with your diagnosis.

I know that people come to you for advice.  I remember the young man who asked you "Les, I keep having these dreams. First I’m a teepee; then I’m a wigwam; then I’m a teepee; then I’m a wigwam. It’s driving me crazy. What’s wrong with me?  Quick as a flash you said "You need to relax. You’re two tents".

But I thought it was a bit cruel when you told me "The problem isn’t that obesity runs in your family. The problem is no one runs in your family.”  

Actually you should consider taking Psychiatry up as a full time profession, Les.  It pays big, because Neurotics build castles in the sky, Psychotics live in them and Psychiatrists collect the rent.

[Ozzyjack]

By my reckoning you are on the verge of a full English

I liked Medallion Man.

You must be psychic, Pen.  Because I was considering what part of our travel diary should I submit next.(Thanks for the encouragement, Birdy)  Well, Full English came up (not literally) in our travels around Southampton in our 2006 travel Diary and so it seems appropriate to include some extracts.

.
The Four Seasons B&B at Hythe is much plainer than Danehurst at Tunbridge Wells.  The shower is the usual small size and its doorway seems particularly small.  I am not sure how D got in but when he squeezed out when wet I think there may have been an audible popping sound like a cork coming out of a bottle.  

The breakfast scene was a bit like something out of the British comedy “Black Books”.  

A very large and overweight young man – skinhead except for a Mohawk haircut sat at a table with a very tall and thin young man.  Shortly after, another even more overweight young man (think floppy, humpty dumpty shape) came in, also accompanied by a tall, thin friend.  They sat at a separate table but seemed to know the first pair and communicated largely in short sentences with abbreviated words and grunts.  

On a sofa in the corner were a late middle-aged couple with their teenage son.  The son was watching kindergarden children’s cartoons on TV while the parents read papers which had large headlines about England being overrun by Romanians and other undesirables.
  
At the table next to us was a very attractive woman (possibly Indian) with her two well behaved children – they all spoke in educated English voices.  D looked at the first two tables and commented that perhaps England needs to be overrun.

We set off for Salisbury after a short investigation of the local shops to locate a Laundromat.  D was stumped when I asked a local for directions and he referred to “the precinct”.  Later D wanted to know what a sign to a “Retail Park” meant.  

It was perhaps his day for being puzzled – at breakfast he was thinking about coffee when the woman owner asked “Do you want a full English”.  I quickly added “cooked breakfast” as I could see his mind wandering to other possibilities.  He was also forced to buy a copy of “The Times” as he said the other papers have “only 1 item of news and 2 teats”.  

The Salisbury Plain is open, rolling country – very attractive.  The Cathedral is impressive – I thought it was the best we have seen – Canterbury is the other contender. Apparently Bill Bryson has said it is the single most beautiful structure in England.  The grounds are also mpressive.  Coffee and shortbread at the café at the Cathedral was excellent.  All very orderly.  We saw an original copy of the Magna Carta in the Chapter House.

Our next stop was at Stonehenge, north of Salisbury.  We did not have to pay an entrance fee as it is a National Trust site.  Even though it rained quite heavily and the wind blew there were still a lot of visitors while we were there.  It is really worth visiting even though it is smaller than I had imagined.    We also went to Woodhenge which is nearby, but it is not really worth a visit; it just consists of cement blocks placed in several circles where wooden posts may have once stood.  We got back to the B&B tired but it was an enjoyable day.

The people running the place were cheerful, helpful and served a great breakfast.  The guy sounded just like, but didn’t look like, George from “George and Mildred” and though well-intentioned seemed to be a bit of a muddler.  The woman was definitely the organiser and in a quiet pleasant way kept things on the rails.  I guess there are plenty of families like that.

I don’t know why I spent so much time trying to learn German when I could just as well have spent the time learning UK English.  Here is my vocabulary for today.  A “precinct” is not a police district but an off-street bunch of shops set out like three sides of a rectangle with a common street.  A “retail park” is a shopping centre where Manufacturers sell direct to the public - what we call a"seconds outlet".  And I did know what “a full English” was, I was just on another train of thought and it didn’t make sense in that context.

We shifted to a slightly larger room.  The shower cubicle is a bit bigger than the first room but using the toilet required contortionist practice, so mainly I went to the shared facility across the hall.  The toilet is almost under the hand-basin and it is impossible to bend down and pull up your trousers without hitting your head on the basin.

The next day was a BIG day.

[Hobbit]

Having just come off the overnight shift, I was a bit bleary eyed & foggy of mind so I was actually a bit concerned for Jack when I first began to read his post as I thought that he had developed some alarming toilet habits along with a serious gambling problem.

Cheeky So & So
Jack did that for my benefit so I could get to grips with the time difference!  & very well it works too
Mind you I do see what you mean!
We haven't much from you lately.  Are you OK? Just working too much/too hard?
Penx

[Hobbit]

Morning Jack (see it works a treat!)
I wish I was psychic!  I'd foresee the winning lottery numbers if I was
I very much enjoyed the extract from June's diary.  Had to laugh at the idea of you popping out of the shower like a cork from a bottle (sauvignon blanc anyone? ) & banging your head on the sink when you went to the loo
When my friend, Eve, & I go on hols we always have separate rooms.  Sometimes we get a nice double to ourselves & other times it's a true single.  A couple of years ago her bathroom was so snug she could sit on the loo & put her feet in the shower & almost clean her teeth at the same time
The weather has turned quite rainy & a little chilly.  No1 daughter has gone camping this weekend.  She's not impressed after all the weeks of boily weather it decided to turn now  
Very much looking forward to the next instalment...
Bottoms up
Pen

[Ozzyjack]

Pen, being psychic and foreseeing the winning lottery numbers wouldn’t be much help unless you could guarantee being able to buy the ticket with those numbers.  The pools would be the go, as I understand you win by predicting football results – is that right?  

Tell No1 daughter to get some Bundaberg OP rum and she will not notice the cold and wet.

I will leave the smallest room story to match yours until, and if, I do London in 2010.  

In the meantime, I will finish off Around Southampton.  I was wrong yesterday - the big day was Friday.

Thursday 24 August 2006

We went to see the Nelson’s ship “Victory” in its dry dock.  The Victory seems about the size of a Manly ferry, but inside it is packed with every square inch used.  Below deck, I had to be careful not to hit my head, so the sailors had to be short.  Apparently, Captain Hardy was about 6ft 2” and the only places he could stand upright were in his cabin and on the upper deck.  I told D fifteen times to mind his head and he managed twelve times.

We had clambered up and down a lot of steep stairs (companionways?), so stopped for a reviving cup of coffee from a van near the Victory.  D’s black coffee was disgusting – I wondered whether they were still adding bromide thinking that it was for sailors and they needed to discourage romantic thoughts.

Next, We climbed lots of steps to see the display of the one remaining sail from the Victory and then onto the Mary Rose exhibition where 1 side of the ship is being preserved.  Some reports claim that the Mary Rose sank on her maiden voyage; in reality she was Henry VIII’s favourite warship and was about 30 years old.  

We took a drive to the New Forest National Park , supposedly the largest unfenced area in England, where horses have right of way on the roads.  We saw lots of ponies – very confident that this was their domain.  There were lots of foals but D resisted the temptation to put one in the boot.  The area we saw is mainly bracken and gorse but Beaulieu is attractive – old castle, thatched cottages, a lake and lots of ponies.

Friday 25 August

We drove to Bath – very attractive and orderly buildings.    D spotted the ‘hop-on-hop-off’ bus so we leapt on.  We got a discount as senior citizens and then 50% off as National Trust members so I thought they might soon have to pay us to ride.  

The first bus trip around the city streets was quite good, but the second around the outskirts and hills was not worthwhile.  There was little to see because of high bushes.

We then went to the Roman Baths which are near the Cathedral.  They are very interesting and worth visiting.  The malled area near the Baths and cathedral is attractive and lively.

From Bath we drove to Cheddar to see the Cheddar Gorge.  We took one of the minor roads over the Mendip Hills.  The Gorge is quite spectacular, but it was almost covered with tourists, climbing, walking, abseiling there.  D was very pleased as he bought some genuine cheddar cheese in Cheddar as well as some cider cheddar (which combined two desirable tastes in his view!)

Our next stop was at Glastonbury which is associated with King Arthur and early Christianity.  It is also now apparently the site of a major rock festival in mid-June.  The town was very busy with lots of “alternative” lifestyle shops and people – tarot, magic mushrooms, Buddhism, spiritualism etc.  However, the ruined Abbey is quite different and well worth visiting.  The ruins are very well presented and peaceful.

We drove about 300 miles today – once again we tried to do too much but it was all worth seeing and it was not too stressful.  

Saturday 26 August

We were rather sad to leave our digs.  It was not modern or spacious but it was scrupulously clean; the beds were comfortable; we had a good time here; had got over our feeling of exhaustion; it was not overly expensive (by English standards); and our hosts couldn’t have been more obliging.  I hate to tempt fate but my sprained toe also began to improve^#.

And so what did I think of

•   The Four Seasons B&B – I would go back.
•   Salisbury Cathedral – I think Bill Bryson is possibly right
•   Stonehenge – It has an aura.  I am not sure whether that was despite the wind and driving rain or because of it.  Should not be missed.
•   Woodhenge -  can be missed
•   HMS Victory – as good an exhibition as you can get – June knocked her head once too!
•   Historic Wharf coffee - If it was bromide, it worked.
•   The Mary Rose exhibition – worthwhile if you are very interested in Naval History.
•   The Sail Exhibition – the film clip about the sail included an excerpt from “Master and Commander” which added the atmosphere and feeling for the visit to HMS Victory.
•   The Mary Rose Museum – it deserved more time than I gave it.
•   New Forest – I wish we had built it into our itinerary – the little bit we did see was attractive.  They had a village that sold home-made scrumpy – but June wouldn’t let me go there.
•   Bath – It’s a pity I had showered that morning.  Seriously, well worth a visit.
•   Cheddar – I would love to visit there when there were fewer people around.  I bought some cheddar in Cheddar and it was marvellous – almost as good as Kraft (just joking).
•   Glastonbury – that bugger Henry VIII has a lot to answer for.

Biggest regret – haven’t tasted draught scrumpy.

# I never admit to having gout, it is always a sprained toe.

[Hobbit]

Morning Jack
You are quite correct about the football pools.  You have to try & forecast score draws.  Not as popular as it once was.  Years ago somebody used to call at the house to collect coupon & money every week.  Doubt if many youngsters will have even heard of it!
Too late to advise No1 daughter about the rum.  She left at lunchtime yesterday.  Got a text this morning to say all is well
I am very much enjoying June's travel diary Hope there's more to come. I love your comments at the bottom
Zoe loves Glastonbury & all the funny little shops.
A few years ago Eve & I had a short holiday in Bournemouth.  They took us to Exbury Gardens in the New Forest.  Amazing place owned by the Rothchilds.  It has a perfect miniature steam railway which has a tunnel, signals, the lot.  It was apparently built by Leopold Rothschild to make up for the fact that he wasn't allowed a train set when he was a child!  That's what the tour guide told us! If you ever return to that area it's a definite place to visit.
Have a very Happy Sunday
Pen

[mkenuk]

re the football pools.
Hard to believe now, but in the years just after the war gambling was heavily restricted in UK. There were no betting shops and no casinos. Betting on horse-racing (and on greyhound racing) was only allowed on the racecourse itself. Playing cards and dominos in pubs for money was technically illegal, but was tolerated if the stakes involved were small. There were 'private clubs' with gambling in places like Soho, but these were places of very dubious repute and were not for the ordinary working man..

Football pools - the biggest were Vernon's and Littlewood's, both based in Liverpool - were one of the few legal ways British people could have a weekly 'flutter'. Even then, there were restrictions; the top prize was set initially at a maximum of 75,000 pounds - a fortune to nearly everyone of course.

Everything started to change in the late 1950s.

[Ozzyjack]

Good Morning, Pen and Mike.

I assume the football pools were allowed because it was deemed there was an element of skill involved and, therefore, could be defined as not strictly gambling.

I will get our arrival in London in 2010 out of the way and then I will give the diary a rest for a while, on the principle that Absinthe makes the heart grow fonder.

Two little snippets that I thought would be in the diaries and weren’t:

* The people at our digs in Hythe were amazed and almost disbelieving that anyone would drive 300 miles in a day to do a bit of sightseeing.  I was a bit of a smart ar Oops Alec and told them there were places in Australia where you had to drive that far to get to the next town.

* We were amused (schadenfreude?) that a couple booking into Wayland House were insistent that they wanted the best rooms and were chuffed when they were allocated room 601.  Wayland House is 5 stories. When they added a couple of rooms they couldn’t go up, so made a couple of rooms in the basement next to the kitchen and called it the sixth floor.  According to TripAdvisor kitchen smells were a problem in these rooms.

Thursday 1 July 2010
The train from Paris arrived at St Pancras on the dot at 11:18 after a 2:05 min journey, very good.  Our arrival at Nayland House about 12:30 was less than auspicious.  

The man at the desk didn’t react to our name, looked at our booking confirmation papers with pursed lips and frowned.  Finally, A pointed out our name on his list.  Then he told us that we can’t book-in until 2:00 pm.  We can park our luggage at their sister hotel 2 doors down the road.  When we went there the desk was unattended and shortly afterwards other people arrived wanting to book in there.  A went back to Nayland House, man very apologetic.  He had forgotten to tell us that the desk clerk was on her lunch break.  She arrived shortly after, so we left our luggage and walked to a nearby pub.  Neither D nor A liked the (traditional English Greeneking IPA) beer they ordered.  D said next time he would have German beer.

We went back to Nayland house and got our rooms and they are tiny – A can touch both sides when he stretches out his arms, which means the room is just 6 ft across.  The double bed is against the wall, so I must crawl down it to get in or out of bed if D is on it.  A is not happy and wanted to book me another room.  He asked at the desk and was told they are full up.  He then wanted to book us into another hotel.  D and I say we will be OK and will see after tonight.  I have said that we will all move if there are bedbugs as one unhappy visitor mentioned on TripAdvisor.  We are here for 3 nights.  The room would be basic and OK for 1 but two people must keep moving out of each other’s way and be extremely tidy (tiny would be helpful too).  The internet at £10 a day is excessive.

Dinner at the Frontline Restaurant, a non profit club for journalists was excellent. D says the only thing that could have made it better was if we had more grappa.  D’s squid, cod and ice cream were good.  I had Cod too and Eton Mess –cream, meringue and fruit - delicious.  A had venison, sea bass and summer fruits.  We booked there again for Saturday night and went home quite tired.

Friday 2 July

No bedbug bites so that is a relief and we had a reasonable night’s sleep.  The area is very noisy, so I needed my earplugs.  The breakfast room is in the basement and the continental breakfast is basic but OK (cornflakes and toast and marmalade). D found boiled eggs, cheese and processed meat, so he was happy.

Hope your Sunday is great, too.

[birdy]

I'm enjoying your travel journals, Ozzyjack - mine are probably not nearly as interesting.

[Ozzyjack]

Hi Birdy,

I am sure your travels were interesting. Did you document them at all?.

It was my son's suggestion in 2004 that made particularly June, and to a lesser extent me, start to keep a journal because it's amazing how much you forget.  This is especially true if you try to fit too much in.  We still have June's handwritten journals and quite a lot of the typed up versions.  We often refer back to them if we want to refresh some memories.

I would be very interested in tales about your journeys, particularly those through the US and Canada as we've never been there.

[Les303]

G'day Jack, I have to agree with birdy & thankyou very much for sharing some snippets from your travel journal, I have found them to be most informative & at times quite amusing.
I think that the fact that is actually June's diary & her perspective of your adventures that makes it all the more entertaining.

And g'day Pen, yes i have been a bit quiet lately mainly due to just being too bloody busy.
At this time of year we have our annual agricultural show formally known as the Royal Queensland Show.
It was originally called the Brisbane Exhibition so it is always simply referred to by everyone in Queensland as the " Ekka "
The concept of the Ekka is to bring the country to the city, it runs for 10 days & draws about 500,000 visitors over that period.
The vast majority of these visitors are transported to the event by public transport so you can imagine the amount of pre - planning that has to take place for everything to run smoothly.
The show started last Friday so with the first few days of transport coordination running without any major problems, we can finally start to relax.

On a personal note, Karen & i have split up again, this time for good as she she has elected to take a promotion & transfer to Melbourne where she will be working " under " her old boss from Brisbane.
When i first met Karen one of the things that attratcted me to her was her endless energy, drive & ambition ( she even managed to get me off the lounge & away from the computer desk ) so i have no ill feeling toward her & only wish her the best of happiness, although i am disappointed that she has chosen to chase the big money & life of luxury over me.

Cheers Les