Author Topic: More or Les (was Bloody Plurals)  (Read 266924 times)

mkenuk

  • Eulexic
  • ***
  • Posts: 2103
  • Life? Don't talk to me about life.
    • View Profile
Re: More or Les (was Bloody Plurals)
« Reply #450 on: March 07, 2018, 11:36:39 AM »
The mention of one-liners reminded me that in Sri Lanka the various buffet dishes were helpfully labelled. Some of them were:

Chocolate brawny
Salmon and asparagus moony
Profit rolls

and my favourite:

Rater-truly.



If you like such mangulations of the English Language, you can spend many a happy hour browsing this web-site.

http://www.engrish.com/

It started a few years ago with photographs of the kind of English that appeared on Japanese t-shirts. It has since then become a legend among teachers of English.


blackrockrose

  • Word-meister
  • ****
  • Posts: 166
  • Muswellbrook, Australia
    • View Profile
    • Rosetta Writes
Re: More or Les (was Bloody Plurals)
« Reply #451 on: March 07, 2018, 02:20:31 PM »
I must be having a slow day, Mike.

I've worked out all the others, but what is 'chocolate brawny?'

mkenuk

  • Eulexic
  • ***
  • Posts: 2103
  • Life? Don't talk to me about life.
    • View Profile
Re: More or Les (was Bloody Plurals)
« Reply #452 on: March 07, 2018, 02:32:11 PM »
I'm simply quoting from Pat's post, but I assume it's meant to be 'Chocolate Brownie'.

blackrockrose

  • Word-meister
  • ****
  • Posts: 166
  • Muswellbrook, Australia
    • View Profile
    • Rosetta Writes
Re: More or Les (was Bloody Plurals)
« Reply #453 on: March 07, 2018, 02:38:43 PM »
Thanks Mike.

Sorry, missed Pat's post.

Ozzyjack

  • Glossologian
  • **
  • Posts: 1755
  • Southern Highlands, NSW.
    • View Profile
Re: More or Les (was Bloody Plurals)
« Reply #454 on: March 07, 2018, 03:31:53 PM »
We'll have to think of a new topic!
Pen,

While you're thinking of one, I'll make the topic of the day "using Language", because one thing that bugs me, Entre Nous, is why people put foreign words in English sentences when perfectly good English words or phrases would do.

*****************************
When Les was in High School he told his mates "I've just had the most awful time. I got angina pectoris, then arteriosclerosis and psoriasis. They gave me hypodermics, and to top it all, tonsillitis was followed by appendectomy."
"Wow! How did you pull through?" sympathized his mates.
"I don't know," Les replied. "Toughest spelling test I ever had."

*****************************
Les's Boss in the Railways Department once responded to his request for a raise by saying, "Because of the fluctuational predisposition of your position's productive capacity as juxtaposed to governmental statistics, it would be momentarily injudicious to advocate an incremental increase."
Les said, "I don't get it."
The official said, "That's right."

*****************************
A teacher asked Les whether he was ignorant or apathetic. Les replied: "I don't know, and I don't care!

*****************************
An Englishman, Frenchman, Spaniard, and a German hear a street performer, but can't see him. The performer steps back to try to give them a better view and asks "Can you see me now?".
None of them can, so they reply ad seriatim: "No Non No Nein".
Then the street performer gets up on a pedestal, and asks again, "Can you see me now?".
This time, they reply: "Yes Oui Sí Ja"

*****************************
Students in Les's class were instructed to write a short story in as few words as possible.
The short story had to contain the following three things: Religion: Sexuality: and Mystery.
The only A+ short story in the entire class was "Good God, I'm pregnant; I wonder who did it".

« Last Edit: March 07, 2018, 03:39:48 PM by Ozzyjack »
Cheers, Jack


“In victory, you deserve Champagne. In defeat you need it.”  ― Napoleon Bonaparte

Les303

  • Guest
Re: More or Les (was Bloody Plurals)
« Reply #455 on: March 07, 2018, 03:37:30 PM »

[/quote]
When I first read your post Les I though what a great adventure!
Then I read it again & realised that you would be expecting me (a lady who is terrified of anything higher than a small step ladder) to transfer from my boat across to yours!!!  I'm speechless!
Hope we're not going to have our 2nd disagreement :laugh:
Pen
[/quote]

Oh dear, it seems that yet another of my jokes has backfired & now i'm in the bad books with Penny.
How can i get back in the good books... surely a little flattery wouldn't hurt.

So Pen, this is how I would describe you ;
ABCDEFGHIJK
And what is that supposed to mean?
Adorable, Beautiful, Cute, Delightful, Elegant, Forgiving, Gorgeous and Humorous.
And what about the IJK?
I'M JUST KIDDING. (referring of course to the previous post & not the preceding compliment)
 

anona

  • Paronomaniac
  • ******
  • Posts: 442
    • View Profile
Re: More or Les (was Bloody Plurals)
« Reply #456 on: March 07, 2018, 06:41:36 PM »
" ... one thing that bugs me, Entre Nous, is why people put foreign words in English sentences when perfectly good English words or phrases would do."  (Ozzyjack)

Sorry - I realise this isn't Les-themed.

Ozzyjack: did you have something particular in mind, or have I missed something on the forum? I'm not even sure you were expecting any response to your suggestion of a new topic.

In case you were: I tried to remember some of the French and Latin words/phrases I would use without thinking. Those where surely we'd never use the English translation (like papier mâché, rigor mortis, ménage a trois or vol au vent) won't count, but I was suprised at how many would fall into the category of your bête noire - including "entre nous" - but only rarely, and then with a suitable facial expression, in audible inverted commas like yours, I promise.

So, in self-exposure, I'd probably always say "and vice versa" rather than "and the other way round"; and, if I were describing where I or someone else lived, "cul de sac" rather than the derogatory-sounding "dead end". And ad nauseam, fait accompli, je ne sais quoi, caveat emptor, joie de vivre, raison d'être, faux pas might irritate you?

JCC objects to "etc" because, he says, "and so on" does just as well. ("Inter alia" is absolutely verboten, but I don't think "verboten" is, for obvious reasons.) I think I may have heard him use "carpe diem" but perhaps that's OK because it's a quotation.

I love the way English doesn't freeze other languages out, like the French try to.
« Last Edit: March 07, 2018, 06:43:43 PM by anona »

Ozzyjack

  • Glossologian
  • **
  • Posts: 1755
  • Southern Highlands, NSW.
    • View Profile
Re: More or Les (was Bloody Plurals)
« Reply #457 on: March 07, 2018, 09:17:50 PM »
" ... one thing that bugs me, Entre Nous, is why people put foreign words in English sentences when perfectly good English words or phrases would do."  (Ozzyjack)

Sorry - I realise this isn't Les-themed.

Ozzyjack: did you have something particular in mind, or have I missed something on the forum? I'm not even sure you were expecting any response to your suggestion of a new topic.


Hi Anona,

I thought the fact that I was breaking my own rule with entre nous was signalling that I had my tongue firmly in my cheek and that the statement was intended as the first joke. Although, as with most humour, there is a small amount of truth in the message.  Some people, including myself at times, use foreign phrases to add gravitas to light weight material.  Like most spectrums (I refuse to say spectra) the optimum is mainly in the middle and either end is to be avoided.  Far from being irritated by the examples you gave, I would use all of your examples without a blush, although I have never tried a ménage a trois and am probably too old to even think about one now.  My favourite addition to your list of foreign words and one for which there is no English equivalent is schadenfreude .

I only intended the topic to last one day to give Pen a chance to throw me a challenging topic.

On the question of this being a Les-themed thread, if we admit it is, he will get a swelled head and he will have to go out and buy a new hat.  We have had so many topics in this thread that Alan, at our suggestion, took it out of the serious subjects and moved it to Whatever and it is used to raise whatever much like Forumites changing a light bulb.

Quote

I love the way English doesn't freeze other languages out, like the French try to.

SECONDED!

I hope you didn't miss the snippet I put in a previous post especially for you
Quote
But his most grievous sin in my book was the misogynist and chauvinistic way he bullied and undermined another of our ex-prime-ministers, Julia Gillard, our first and so far only female occupant of the position. IMHO, perhaps I should omit the H, she was the best Prime Minister we have had since Hawke and Keating.  Among the many other things I liked about her was that she was a daughter of ten pound poms who came from Wales – and what better recommendation can you get than that!
Cheers, Jack


“In victory, you deserve Champagne. In defeat you need it.”  ― Napoleon Bonaparte

anona

  • Paronomaniac
  • ******
  • Posts: 442
    • View Profile
Re: More or Les (was Bloody Plurals)
« Reply #458 on: March 07, 2018, 11:58:54 PM »
Ozzyjack: I did see the snippet, and thank you! I wasn't sure it was meant for me, though. And I did think you tongue was in your cheek with your "entre nous". 

How strange: I deleted a chunk from my post about how I felt some words just had to be used in their original language because there was no pithy translation.  For example, I wrote,  schadenfreude (!), hwyl and lacrimae rerum.


jane@manutd

  • Paronomaniac
  • ******
  • Posts: 449
    • View Profile
Re: More or Les (was Bloody Plurals)
« Reply #459 on: March 08, 2018, 04:54:34 AM »
Birdy, thanks for the update on T and Threeb, glad to hear that all seems to be going well with them (especially for T’s girls who are free at last!). I was on FB but haven’t been for a while. Like when playing this, life has a habit of trying to get in the way of things! Jane

Hobbit

  • Eulexic
  • ***
  • Posts: 2057
  • Bletchley, Buckinghamshire, England
    • View Profile
Re: More or Les (was Bloody Plurals)
« Reply #460 on: March 08, 2018, 07:06:15 AM »
Quote


I only intended the topic to last one day to give Pen a chance to throw me a challenging topic.


Hi Jack.  Read with interest & much enjoyment your thread regarding language.  Am struggling to come up with a challenging new topic.  I'm quite excited by trains - particularly the steam variety. (Being a non-flyer helps!)  Not sure that would give you much to get your teeth into though.  Food also excites me :laugh:
I'll put my thinking cap back on....
Still feel like it's the coughing that's going to carry me off at the moment!
Pen

Hobbit

  • Eulexic
  • ***
  • Posts: 2057
  • Bletchley, Buckinghamshire, England
    • View Profile
Re: More or Les (was Bloody Plurals)
« Reply #461 on: March 08, 2018, 07:10:32 AM »
Quote

Oh dear, it seems that yet another of my jokes has backfired & now i'm in the bad books with Penny.
How can i get back in the good books... surely a little flattery wouldn't hurt.

Don't worry Les you're not in the dog house & I certainly realised you were joking!  I wouldn't have sent you Captain Pugwash otherwise!  Still I did most appreciate & enjoy the flattery... :-*
Pen

Les303

  • Guest
Re: More or Les (was Bloody Plurals)
« Reply #462 on: March 08, 2018, 07:49:43 PM »
We'll have to think of a new topic!
Pen,

While you're thinking of one, I'll make the topic of the day "using Language", because one thing that bugs me, Entre Nous, is why people put foreign words in English sentences when perfectly good English words or phrases would do.

*****************************
When Les was in High School he told his mates "I've just had the most awful time. I got angina pectoris, then arteriosclerosis and psoriasis. They gave me hypodermics, and to top it all, tonsillitis was followed by appendectomy."
"Wow! How did you pull through?" sympathized his mates.
"I don't know," Les replied. "Toughest spelling test I ever had."

*****************************
Les's Boss in the Railways Department once responded to his request for a raise by saying, "Because of the fluctuational predisposition of your position's productive capacity as juxtaposed to governmental statistics, it would be momentarily injudicious to advocate an incremental increase."
Les said, "I don't get it."
The official said, "That's right."

*****************************
A teacher asked Les whether he was ignorant or apathetic. Les replied: "I don't know, and I don't care!

*****************************
An Englishman, Frenchman, Spaniard, and a German hear a street performer, but can't see him. The performer steps back to try to give them a better view and asks "Can you see me now?".
None of them can, so they reply ad seriatim: "No Non No Nein".
Then the street performer gets up on a pedestal, and asks again, "Can you see me now?".
This time, they reply: "Yes Oui Sí Ja"

*****************************
Students in Les's class were instructed to write a short story in as few words as possible.
The short story had to contain the following three things: Religion: Sexuality: and Mystery.
The only A+ short story in the entire class was "Good God, I'm pregnant; I wonder who did it".



Jack, that was an absolutely brilliantly funny post & I do apologise for not responding to it which was my intention but at the time I was so preoccupied with trying to extricate myself from my faux pas with Penny that I simply forgot.
Turns out that Pen is even a better sport than i thought so i can probably even get away with sending her this ;

Les303

  • Guest
Re: More or Les (was Bloody Plurals)
« Reply #463 on: March 08, 2018, 07:57:25 PM »


[/quote]

Hi Anona,
On the question of this being a Les-themed thread, if we admit it is, he will get a swelled head and he will have to go out and buy a new hat.  We have had so many topics in this thread that Alan, at our suggestion, took it out of the serious subjects and moved it to Whatever and it is used to raise whatever much like Forumites changing a light bulb.
Quote

Well after all, my name is featured in the thread topic & that was none of my doing.



Ozzyjack

  • Glossologian
  • **
  • Posts: 1755
  • Southern Highlands, NSW.
    • View Profile
Re: More or Les (was Bloody Plurals)
« Reply #464 on: March 08, 2018, 09:15:40 PM »
Am struggling to come up with a challenging new topic.  I'm quite excited by trains
On the question of this being a Les-themed thread, if we admit it is, he will get a swelled head and he will have to go out and buy a new hat.
 
Well after all, my name is featured in the thread topic.

Pen,  I've accepted the challenge.
Les, to make it Les themed, I've made the jokes Lesocentric,  If you send me the bill, I will throw in for half the new hat!!!

___________________________________________________________________________________________________________

When Les was a young fellow just before he joined Queensland Rail (QR), he used to be a bit of a lad.  He was always trying to put one over on people; trying to test any system to its limits and he was always up for a joke.  You wouldn’t believe that young larrikin would grow up to become that sober, respectable, conservative pillar of society that we know Les to be today.

He used to knock around with two blokes that were just like him.  They used to call their mini-gang the Lags.

On day the Lags were drinking in the bar at Brisbane Railway station waiting for a train when they heard a whistle. The three of them rushed out of the bar onto the platform only to discover that they had just missed the train.

‘The next train is in one hour,’ intoned the stationmaster.

The three went back into the bar and got stuck into the XXXX  Again they heard a whistle, rushed out and discovered the train pulling away.

‘Next one is sixty minutes from now,’ grunted the stationmaster.

Les slipped the stationmaster a fiver to tell them when the next train was pulling into the station.  An hour later, the Stationmaster warns then the train is pulling in but they had been handed fresh schooners, so they were a bit slow getting out to the platform. 

The train started moving and they all raced to catch it.  Les wasn’t as fit as his mates who managed to leap onto the train as it pulled away. Les was left standing on the platform and began to laugh uproariously.

The stationmaster thought he would pee himself and said. ‘Why are you laughing?’

Les gave him a cheeky grin, ‘They only came to see me off.’
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The Lags were going to Sydney to see if Kings Cross was all it was cracked up to be and three accountants, (suits, ties and all that clobber) were traveling by the same train to a conference.

At the station, the three accountants each bought tickets and watched as the Lags bought only a single ticket. “How are three people going to travel on only one ticket?” asked an accountant.

“Watch and you’ll see,” answered Les.

They all boarded the train. The accountants took their respective seats, but all three Lags crammed into a toilet and closed the door behind them. Shortly after the train departed, the conductor came around collecting tickets. He knocked on the toilet door and said, “Ticket, please.” The door opened just a crack and a single arm emerged with a ticket in hand. The conductor took it and moved on.

The accountants saw this and agreed it was quite a clever idea. So, after the conference, the accountants decided to copy the Lags on the return trip and save some money (being clever with money, and all that).

When they got to the station, they bought a single ticket for the return trip. To their astonishment, the Lags were returning to Brisbane on the same train and didn’t buy a ticket at all. “How are you going to travel without a ticket?” said one perplexed accountant.

“Watch and you’ll see,” answered Les.

When they boarded the train, the three accountants crammed into a toilet and the Lags crammed into another nearby. The train departed.

Shortly afterward, Les left his toilet and walked over to the toilet where the accountants were hiding. He knocked on the door and said, “Ticket, please.”
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

As we know, Les joined QR.  Ocker, one of the Lags, revered Les and he decided to join QR too, hoping to get a job with Les.  Not to be. Les was bright and got the plum jobs but Ocker, to be as charitable as we can be, was less bright and was given the job of supervising a railway crossing.  What could go wrong?

Two months later, in a terrible accident at the railroad crossing, a train smashed into a car and pushed it nearly four hundred yards down the track. Though no one was killed, the car driver took QR to court. At the trial, Les went along to give moral support to Ocker because that’s what mates do.

Ocker insisted that he had given the driver ample warning by waving his lantern back and forth for nearly a minute. He even stood and convincingly demonstrated how he’d done it. The court believed his story, and the suit was dismissed.

Lawyer: “Congratulations, Ocker, you did superbly under cross-examination.”
Ocker: Thanks, but Les, he sure had me worried.”
Les: “How’s that?”
Ocker:” I was afraid he was going to ask if the lantern was lit!”
Cheers, Jack


“In victory, you deserve Champagne. In defeat you need it.”  ― Napoleon Bonaparte