More or Les (was Bloody Plurals)

[Les303]

I am indeed, very impressed, & i am sure that you also would have heard of a couple of other pretty handy cricketers ; Fred Trueman & Don Bradman & as Penny didn't give me any topic to go on, i'll use your post to lead into this little yarn which was told by Fred himself.


The scene was an Ashes test with England fielding ..... 'and I went back to my mark and hurtled into the wicket, a rap on the pads, Howzat? One for none.
I went back to my mark and hurtled into the wicket and the bails were off, two for none.
Then in came the great Sir Don Bradman. I went back to my mark and hurtled into the wicket, the ball was in the air, a fantastic catch on the long on boundary, three for three hundred and seventy six.

 

[Ozzyjack]

Les, I'll see your Trueman - Bradman and raise you one

Some years ago, Trueman, was asked whether Bradman was as good as the current batsmen.  His response:Bradman averaged 99 in test cricket. When asked two or three years ago what he thought he might average against these bowlers [ Marshall, Ambrose, Lillee, Hadlee] he mentioned a figure like 27 to 30. The stunned interviewer said 'but you averaged 99'. He replied 'yes, but now I'm 85 years old'!

[Les303]

That's a good one, Jack, even though there was no emoji to prompt me, it still gave me a laugh.

Trex , Birdy, Tom44 & all of our other American friends probably have no idea what we are talking about so for their benefit, here is a very simple & straight forward explanation of the game of cricket ;

You have two sides, one out in the field and one in.
Each man that's in the side that's in goes out, and when he's out he comes in and the next man goes in until he's out.
When they are all out, the side that's out comes in and the side that's been in goes out and tries to get those coming in, out.
Sometimes you get men still in and not out.
When a man goes out to go in, the men who are out try to get him out, and when he is out he goes in and the next man in goes out and goes in. There are two men called umpires who stay all out all the time and they decide when the men who are in are out.
When both sides have been in and all the men have been out, and both sides have been out twice after all the men have been in, including those who are not out, that is the end of the game.

[auntiemo]

No emoji needed for that one, Les. That has to be one of the best descriptions of cricket that I have seen....and it will be passed on! Well done.

[mkenuk]

Thanks, Les, I've not seen that for a while.

Many years ago, I had a t-shirt with the 'Rules of Cricket' printed on it; I also had it as a poster when I lived in England, blu-takked in the smallest room.

[Barbaram]

Les, I love it!  Will copy it and forward to our friendly cricket aficionados. I’m a West Australian, and sadly we have had a Shield loss against Tassie today...

[cmh]

I once had a very young Japanese student to stay for a few days and he asked me to explain cricket! After a heroic attempt that failed dismally I sent him back to Japan with a T shirt containing that summary but I doubt he was any the wiser! I imagine he would have been even more confused if it had been printed in Yorkshire dialect a la Geoff Boycott.

[Hobbit]

I am not at all interested in cricket, but while researching 10 Pound poms, I found out England fast bowlers Harold Larwood in 1950 and Frank Tyson in 1960 also took advantage of the scheme when they retired from cricket. Pen, thought that might impress Les.

Don't know about Les, Jack but I'm very impressed.  You're full of interesting little nuggets of information
Oops that emoji slipped out when I wasn't looking!
Pen

[Hobbit]

Didn't realise that I was meant to provide you with a topic Les.  I'll have to put my thinking cap on!  Love the Fred Truman yarn & I'd forgotten about the explanation of cricket.  Haven't heard that for years.  There are a couple of Geoffrey Boycottisms that I love.  My granny could hit that with a stick of rhubarb!  My tactic would be to hit a quick single & watch him from the other end. (Shane Warne)  Sure there are loads more but I can't remember at the moment.
I always enjoy any cricket related stories, facts or anything else!
Pen

[Les303]

Bill & Ian are a couple of old retired cricketers.
They are sitting on the park bench, feeding the pigeons & just reflecting on their playing careers.
Ian asks, do you think that they play cricket in heaven?
Bill responds that he has no idea & suggests they make a pact that whoever passes first will return to let the other know the answer.
The pact is agreed to with a handshake & sadly, just a couple of days later Bill passes in his sleep.
Several weeks later Ian returns to the same park bench to feed the pigeons & reminisce about his mate.
Suddenly, he hears a voice calling his name, is that you Bill?
Yes, comes the reply, as Bill's ghost appears beside him.
So what's the answer, do they play cricket in heaven or not?
Well, I've got good news & bad news about that.
The good news is that yes we do play cricket in heaven & you get to play as if you were still in your prime.
The bad news is that our next game starts tomorrow & you will be opening the batting.

[anonsi]

When both sides have been in and all the men have been out, and both sides have been out twice after all the men have been in, including those who are not out, that is the end of the game.

Other than this last sentence, it sounds like baseball.

[Les303]

Baseball & cricket are vastly different games although as you point out, they do have a lot of similar traits.
I don't know if the name Mike Young, would be familiar to you but he played in the professional baseball leagues in America & I believe even went on to coach some teams.
Mike was a regular visitor to Australia as a talent scout & when he retired he came to Australia to coach in our emerging baseball league.
Several years ago he was contracted by the Australian Cricket Board to become part of the coaching group for our national test side as the fielding coach, he concentrated on improving the players throwing techniques ( particularly long throwing from the boundary ) & their over all fielding skills, he had a lot of success in the role & was retained for several seasons.

A rookie pitcher was struggling at the mound, so the catcher walked out to have a talk with him. “I’ve figured out your problem,” he told the pitcher. “You always lose control at the same point in every game.” “When is that?” “Right after the national anthem.”

[Ozzyjack]

there are a few new forumites that can be quite belligerent, very sarcastic & although sometimes slightly amusing, they always push the accepted boundaries to their limit.

Had another bad day at work, Les?  Never mind, this will cheer you up.

Young Bluey, Ocker Yobbo's son was at school this morning and the teacher asked all the children what their Father's did for a living.  All the typical answers came out, Fireman, Policeman, Salesman, Chippy, Captain of Industry, etc. etc. but Bluey was being uncharacteristically quiet, and so the teacher asked him about his Father.

'My Father is an exotic dancer in a gay club and takes off all his clothes in front of the other men. Sometimes if the offer is really good he'll go out with a man, rent a cheap hotel room and let them sleep with him'.

The teacher quickly set the other children some work and took little Bluey aside to ask if that was really true. 'No' said Billy 'he plays Rugby for the Queensland Reds, but I was just too embarrassed to say'.

Oops, I think I have just made the list.

[Les303]

I realise that I should have started a new thread for this but the thread of this thread has been to keep changing the thread so beware this is a ;

SPOILER ALERT , SPOILER ALERT , SPOILER ALERT.

10 LETTER GAME TUESDAY 20TH FEBRUARY IS STILL ACTIVE

SPOILER ALERT , SPOILER ALERT, SPOILER ALERT.

PLEASE READ NO FURTHER IF YOU DO NOT WANT A CLUE FOR THE BIG WORD FROM THE 10 LETTER GAME ; TUESDAY 20TH.

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Hi Pen ,

This spoiler alert is specifically aimed at you which is why I kept it in this thread although you are generally pretty good at finding the big words, you probably won't even need it but just in case you do, here's the clue.

The big word in this game was one of the last that I found however if I had been thinking of you, then I would have found it within a second.

[Ozzyjack]

Jack, your posts are definitely improving, I can only see 3 mistakes in this one.

Les, you wouldn't believe how so, so chuffed I am that you've noticed that my continuous improvement efforts to improve my posts have got my mistakes down to only 3.

But seriously:

1. Your reply is in the wrong thread......

The reason I put the post in this thread is because our banter was off-topic for the welcome to Jane.  There are some purists who get irritated by going off-topic in a thread and I didn't want to annoy them or to diminish Jane's welcome.  Since we have had so many changes of topic in the Bloody Plurals thread I thought nobody would be annoyed by parking the post here.  If it were technically possible we should rename the thread Miscellaneous and move it to Whatever

2. I'm on a day off from work today & the above quote was simply to give Jane a bit of a wind up ............

I never believed you were serious but I couldn't resist pulling your leg.  After all most of the newbies and many of the old hands have confessed to being members the Les Fan Club.

3. Funny joke ............ but I do think you made a mistake about the profession of Bluey's father ...................

I am not going to touch that one.