Author Topic: More or Les (was Bloody Plurals)  (Read 265324 times)

Hobbit

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Re: More or Les (was Bloody Plurals)
« Reply #255 on: February 06, 2018, 06:26:50 AM »
Anona my perception of the EU is of a bunch of bloated bureaucrats.  Although dictators might be a better description >:(
You're right about the cucumbers!  If you ever get a properly home grown one they are nearly always curved!
Perhaps the EU has infiltrated worldwide....
Pen

TRex

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Re: More or Les (was Bloody Plurals)
« Reply #256 on: February 06, 2018, 08:21:26 AM »
As a result of geography, Queensland bananas actually grow straight, but everyone expects that bananas are curved, so Queenslanders have to bend their bananas so that people will buy them. That's how they get their nickname. Also explains why NSW bananas are cheaper than Queensland bananas.

Is this supposed to be tongue in cheek? I did some checking and found no evidence that bananas grow straight anywhere.

yelnats

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Re: More or Les (was Bloody Plurals)
« Reply #257 on: February 06, 2018, 08:41:06 AM »
Quote
Is this supposed to be tongue in cheek? I did some checking and found no evidence that bananas grow straight anywhere.

Yes, but don't tell Les.

Les303

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Re: More or Les (was Bloody Plurals)
« Reply #258 on: February 06, 2018, 10:08:33 AM »
It seems that my attempt to put you on the spot has backfired.
I was hoping that you would come up with a totally ridiculous & outlandish explanation with just a hint of credibility so as to draw other forumites into the conversation.

So why are bananas curved ;

It makes it easier for monkeys ( & Queenslanders ) to hang on to them.

Ozzyjack

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Re: More or Les (was Bloody Plurals)
« Reply #259 on: February 06, 2018, 11:10:36 AM »
I did some checking and found no evidence that bananas grow straight anywhere.

Trex, I believe I am channelling your illustrious President when I caution against letting the facts interfere with a good story.  However, I cannot believe that Yelnats would be guilty of spreading fake news, so keep checking.

In the meantime, I am exhausted by checking whether Pecos Bill was indeed raised by coyotes and dug the Rio Grande with a stick but it does seem feasible that he was responsible for Texas becoming known as the Lone Star State by shooting all the other stars out.

But speaking of nicknames, which we weren't, I issue a challenge to forumites to explain what are the origins of Scouser, Geordie, Inside the Beltway and other nicknames for where you or other people come from.  But don't tell me about Septic for Americans, I know that one.
« Last Edit: February 06, 2018, 12:47:55 PM by Ozzyjack »
Cheers, Jack


“In victory, you deserve Champagne. In defeat you need it.”  ― Napoleon Bonaparte

yelnats

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Re: More or Les (was Bloody Plurals)
« Reply #260 on: February 06, 2018, 01:20:04 PM »
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monkeys ( & Queenslanders )

The difference?

TRex

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Re: More or Les (was Bloody Plurals)
« Reply #261 on: February 06, 2018, 01:38:02 PM »
Trex, I believe I am channelling your illustrious President when I caution against letting the facts interfere with a good story.  However, I cannot believe that Yelnats would be guilty of spreading fake news, so keep checking.

Some clarifications: First, he isn't 'illustrious'. At best, he is a**hole in chief (I've some more appropriate labels). Second, he isn't my president — I didn't vote for the SOB and would be happy if he dropped dead tonight.

Les303

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Re: More or Les (was Bloody Plurals)
« Reply #262 on: February 06, 2018, 02:54:31 PM »
Quote
monkeys ( & Queenslanders )

The difference?

That's a tough one Stan, I was going to say that monkeys don't drink beer but apparently that is not always the case ;


Ozzyjack

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Re: More or Les (was Bloody Plurals)
« Reply #263 on: February 06, 2018, 02:56:33 PM »
you have so many traits in common with the average Queenslander i.e. shy, retiring, introverted etc..

Les, I can only assume that you are being ironic which is generally accepted as being a trait exhibited by most Australians but one to which, of course, I would not stoop. 

Some common examples of Australian irony are exhibited in nicknames: redheads are typically called Bluey; bald headed men are called Curlie; and the biggest man in the Rugby team is known as Tiny. Others are a bit more obscure - John Eales, highly revered  ex Wallabies rugby captain is known as "Nobody" because nobody is perfect. Sometime irony lies in descriptions such as referring to Trump as Illustrious or a person of limited abilities "couldn't find a grand piano in a one roomed house"

I could only find the time to write this because I was scheduled to go to a procrastinators' meeting but it was postponed.
 
Cheers, Jack


“In victory, you deserve Champagne. In defeat you need it.”  ― Napoleon Bonaparte

Les303

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Re: More or Les (was Bloody Plurals)
« Reply #264 on: February 06, 2018, 05:10:35 PM »
Funny stuff Jack ... or is it in fact John?

The richest man in town decides to throw a huge party & everybody is invited.
The party is held around the pool in the backyard of his mansion.  Everyone is having a good time dancing, eating lots of fancy food with plenty of drinking & flirting.
At the height of the party, the host says, 'As you have probably already noticed, I have a huge man-eating crocodile in my pool and I'll give a hundred thousand dollars to anyone who has the balls to jump in with it.'
The words are barely out of his mouth when there is a loud splash and everyone turns around to see big Larry
(nicknamed Lurch from the Addams Family ) in the pool fighting the croc, jabbing the croc in the eyes with his thumbs, throwing punches, doing all kinds of stuff like head butts and choke holds, biting the croc on the tail and flipping the croc through the air.
The water is churning and splashing everywhere. Both Lurch and the croc are screaming and raising hell. Finally, big Lurch has managed to strangle the croc and let it float to the top like a dead goldfish.
Lurch then slowly climbs out of the pool. Everybody is just staring at him in disbelief.  The host says, 'Well, Larry, I reckon I owe you a hundred thousand dollars.'
Not interested says Lurch.
What do you mean, not interested, I have to give you something , what you have achieved here is just amazing, how about a new car?
Not interested says Lurch.
Come on Larry, I have to give you something because you won the challenge, how about I buy you some stocks & bonds?
Not interested says Lurch.
Confused, the host asks, what exactly would you be interested in?
Lurch replies that the only thing that he is interested in at the moment is finding out who was the bastard that pushed him into the pool.










yelnats

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Re: More or Les (was Bloody Plurals)
« Reply #265 on: February 06, 2018, 05:14:15 PM »
Quote
Second, he isn't my president — I didn't vote for the SOB and would be happy if he dropped dead tonight.

Is Pence any better?

Les303

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Re: More or Les (was Bloody Plurals)
« Reply #266 on: February 06, 2018, 05:50:21 PM »

Quote

Les, there are very few that would agree, most just think I am peculier.
Nowt wrong with that Jack!  I'm slightly bonkers & Les is clearly as mad as a box of frogs so we're all in good company!  I'm inclined to agree with Les about this thread we must keep going until we win the prize for the most topics :laugh: We might get a trophy from Alan as well as a prize :laugh:
Pen

Pen, starting a new topic about the spice girls under " whatever " doesn't help to achieve our target in this thread.
The people that chose to invest the 50 million are either idiots or geniuses, time will tell.

2dognight

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Re: More or Les (was Bloody Plurals)
« Reply #267 on: February 06, 2018, 06:50:32 PM »
  I was wondering just what the longest topic has been on Chi ?

 
 

pat

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Re: More or Les (was Bloody Plurals)
« Reply #268 on: February 06, 2018, 08:17:21 PM »
  I was wondering just what the longest topic has been on Chi ?

I suspect the answer to that question would be this one:

https://theforum.lexigame.com/index.php/topic,467.0.html

It only shows the number of times it's been read rather than the number of posts but it's probably well ahead on both counts. Unlike this thread, which meanders all over the place, the humorous thread mostly stays on course.

Les303

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Re: More or Les (was Bloody Plurals)
« Reply #269 on: February 06, 2018, 08:29:06 PM »
Cue for Carol to post a lightbulb joke.

How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Only two, but the hard part is getting them into the light bulb.