Author Topic: More or Les (was Bloody Plurals)  (Read 266465 times)

pat

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Re: More or Les (was Bloody Plurals)
« Reply #210 on: January 29, 2018, 07:42:47 AM »

As a fellow smoker I know how hard it is to quit.  I have tried patches, vaping, sprays & all sorts with little or no success.  Only non-smokers think it's easy!


Ex-smokers know it’s hard but can be done!

mkenuk

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Re: More or Les (was Bloody Plurals)
« Reply #211 on: January 29, 2018, 11:50:34 AM »

Ex-smokers know it’s hard but can be done!

Spot on, Pat!
I was on 40+ a day; I had been for years;
at the time I was working in the Middle-East where they were so cheap that cost wasn't a factor.
It was affecting my health, however and I realised I had to quit.
I bought patches and didn't dare use them in case they didn't work!

One morning, a Tuesday, I woke up, lit a cigarette as I always did before doing anything else, and halfway through smoking it, I realised I didn't want it.
I stubbed it out, grabbed one of the patches from the box and stuck it on my arm.
That was it.
I knew by lunch-time that day that I was an ex-smoker.

Two days later, I flew from Muscat to Bangkok. I was really proud of myself, checking in and asking for 'non-smoking, please'.
Funny to think that in those days you could smoke almost everywhere.

That was twenty-three years ago. I've never been tempted to start again.

Never stop trying to give up.

You and everyone else around you will thank you for quitting.

Here endeth the lesson!
« Last Edit: January 29, 2018, 11:54:55 AM by mkenuk »

Ozzyjack

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Re: More or Les (was Bloody Plurals)
« Reply #212 on: January 29, 2018, 09:41:54 PM »
I'm astonished that you've never tried gnat's pee!!!
Penny, your comment has tweeked the entrepreneurial nerve in me. You obviously have access to a source of gnats pee. Now if we were to bottle it we could make a fortune selling it to Queenslanders as a health drink. If they can enjoy xxxx they will drink anything. If we ran short of gnat’s pee we could water it down with Fosters. They would never know the difference.   What do you think?

On a less serious note, smoking. I took it up when I was 18 because I had 3 front teeth knocked out in a Rugby match and a cigarette filled the gap while I was waiting for a plate. It became addictive. After a couple of years my Rugby coach told me it was affecting my performance so I tried to give it up. After 20 or so attempts, no success. I tried pipes, cigars, cold turkey - nothing worked.  It got more expensive.  In 1968, Money was tight, we were just taking up golf,and we were expecting our first child.  Ozzyjune gave me the ultimatum - give up smoking or give up beer. In those days I hadn’t discovered the pleasures of good wine and malt whisky. No contest, and I have never smoked since.  Funny thing though. For the next 20 Or 30 years I would dream of having a smoke.  I would wake up feeling guilty until I realised it was just a dream. So it shows just how long the habit stays in your system.  But I am so glad I kicked the habit.

So Les, I am the last one qualified to give advice but if you do give up the fags, when you are in your nineties, you will look back and say “ that wasn’t too hard was it” as you go onto get your 2000th rosette..

On a more sombre note,  when you give up all the enjoyable things in life, you may live longer but even if you don’t, it will sure as hell feel like you did.

« Last Edit: January 29, 2018, 09:52:30 PM by Ozzyjack »
Cheers, Jack


“In victory, you deserve Champagne. In defeat you need it.”  ― Napoleon Bonaparte

Hobbit

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Re: More or Les (was Bloody Plurals)
« Reply #213 on: January 30, 2018, 06:20:37 AM »
Oh Jack I love it!  You made me laugh out loud :laugh:  Les obviously has competition!  I will gladly share my secret source of gnats pee with you & we'll clean up & make our fortune. I don't know any Queenslanders - but still find the comment about health drink hilarious!!
Penny

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Re: More or Les (was Bloody Plurals)
« Reply #214 on: January 30, 2018, 03:39:36 PM »
As an ex-smoker ( about 30 a day for 25 years ) I can say it is possible to give up, without drugs, patches etc.

When the need to give up exceeds the need to smoke, it will come relatively easily.

In my case, rather than tell myself I had quit, I just said, not now, a bit later.
I won't have a cigarette now, I can wait.
Gradually extending the timing till I made it to an hour was the hard part.
Once at an hour it became a little easier.

Still, at any any stage in the first decade I could have easily taken it up again.
The second decade after stopping, was quite a bit easier.

Single Malt whisky tastes a whole better now.

Les303

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Re: More or Les (was Bloody Plurals)
« Reply #215 on: January 30, 2018, 05:17:03 PM »
Oh Jack I love it!  You made me laugh out loud :laugh:  Les obviously has competition!  I will gladly share my secret source of gnats pee with you & we'll clean up & make our fortune. I don't know any Queenslanders - but still find the comment about health drink hilarious!!
Penny

Pen, you were not the only one laughing out loud but I still want to be in on this incredibly rare investment opportunity.
Ozzyjacks moment of entrepreneurial genius can indeed make us all a fortune, my only suggestion would be that we make our launch in Japan rather than Queensland & that is because of the type of drinks that are already available in Japan ;

Diet Water ;
Promoted to have all the flavour of regular water but with half the calories.

Mothers Milk ;
Breast tasting milk ever. (apparently you can by it in a carton )

Placenta Drink ;
A jelly drink made from pigs placenta which is claimed to have amazing regenerative properties.

Or we could always go to India to challenge their soda which is made with cows urine.
« Last Edit: January 30, 2018, 05:21:54 PM by Les303 »

Les303

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Re: More or Les (was Bloody Plurals)
« Reply #216 on: January 30, 2018, 07:56:23 PM »
Oh Pen, I forgot to ask,  exactly how do you manage to collect your gnats pee?
I can only imagine that you have a colony living in your basement or perhaps just under your bed, do you simply provide them with lots of water or is their a more intricate method involved?

auntiemo

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Re: More or Les (was Bloody Plurals)
« Reply #217 on: January 30, 2018, 09:04:44 PM »
 ??? :-P
Brisbane , Queensland, Australia

Les303

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Re: More or Les (was Bloody Plurals)
« Reply #218 on: January 30, 2018, 09:51:11 PM »
Before committing to my investment in this project, I simply need to know that we will have a sufficient supply of gnats pee to meet what will inevitably be a huge demand for this product.

No matter how she manages her colonies of gnats, under the bed, in the basement, in the attic, on the roof, in the garage or out in the back yard, I need an assurance that she can meet supply.

I naturally assumed that such a breakthrough would have already been patented but I should have checked before asking such a question in a public forum so Pen, I fully understand your refusal to answer this question.



anona

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Re: More or Les (was Bloody Plurals)
« Reply #219 on: January 30, 2018, 11:40:49 PM »
Two things: Penny - perhaps you could consider taking someone in Scotland into partnership? I love Scotland (and lived there as a child) but have bitter memories of its gnats and clegs.
20 years ago we holidayed in the Trossachs in June with our 1-year-old daughter. We went for a stroll in the early evening with her in a pushchair, but after going 50 yards raced back in 10 times faster when I noticed her poor little face was literally black with gnats. It terrified me.

On other weird drinks: Whisky, should I say well done for finding those examples? They are really revolting. But, er, thank you.

Ozzyjack

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Re: More or Les (was Bloody Plurals)
« Reply #220 on: January 31, 2018, 04:31:10 AM »
No matter how she manages her colonies of gnats, under the bed, in the basement, in the attic, on the roof, in the garage or out in the back yard, I need an assurance that she can meet supply.

Les, I anticipated your lack of faith. However, having had some small association with Statistics in a past life, I decided that a simulation was the only way to assuage your scepticism.

I am somewhat (a euphemism) over 100 kg and I guess a gnat might average 0.1 grams. Therefore I would pretend to be a gnat and divide the results by a million.  Off to the local discount liquor supplier for some Fosters.  Although they have just about every beer in the world, I couldn’t find any Fosters or xxxx on the shelves.  So I remembered the preparation I had to make for a colonoscopy a couple of years ago and thought a couple of litres of apple juice would do the trick. Seeing I was in a liquor store I thought cider is just apple juice, I would use that. As soon as I got home I got stuck into the Scrumpy.

Several hours later it occurred to me that gnats do not wear clothes, so off with the gear.  To speed the process I pranced around the house singing in my best Tom Jones voice Gnat’s not unusual.  I noticed the Border Collies we’re covering their eyes with their paws and Ozzyjune was googling the local psychiatric services.

And then I woke up.  It was a better dream than smoking but not much. 

Sorry, Pen. In the cold sober light of day, I have begun to wonder whether my entrepreneurial idea might not be entirely practical.

What do you think about Quail’s Milk?
Cheers, Jack


“In victory, you deserve Champagne. In defeat you need it.”  ― Napoleon Bonaparte

Hobbit

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Re: More or Les (was Bloody Plurals)
« Reply #221 on: January 31, 2018, 06:40:23 AM »
Oh Les & Jack I'm laughing so much I actually have tears in my eyes & holding my stomach!!  You're nearly as bad as each other.  Jack I would pay the money I earn from our enterprise to see a picture of you prancing round the house totally starkers singing It's Gnat Unusual! Or how about If Gnat For You by Olivia Newton John.  I believe she hales from Oz!
Les may I assure you that my gnat colony live in the lap of luxury in the garden shed in the back garden with their every whim catered for :-H Collecting the pee is a bit troublesome but I'm working on that!
What do you think about Jack's idea for quail's milk?  Could we run that as a sideline do you think?  My bevy of quails are prolific milk producers :laugh: 
They are free range & have the run of the back garden.
You two will have to pop over to Japan to do the sales & marketing but I'm sure that wont be a problem.  I shall use the vast fortune that we make to get on a nice luxurious boat & come & visit you all. :) :)
Pen

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Re: More or Les (was Bloody Plurals)
« Reply #222 on: January 31, 2018, 06:46:32 AM »
Anona that sounds truly terrible.  Very scary!  Your poor daughter.  My daughter visited the Isle of Skye last September.  She said the midges were a wretched nuisance & she & her friend were well & truly bitten!  The insect repellent they took with them didn't work at all!
Penny

anona

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Re: More or Les (was Bloody Plurals)
« Reply #223 on: January 31, 2018, 07:40:18 AM »
Pen: I lived on Islay when young, and maybe 16 years ago we went there for a holiday. I decided my daughter's hair needed cutting, and got the telephone number of the hairdresser.  (When we lived there, there was no hairdresser on the island, and I remember cutting my mother's hair, aged 8.)
Eventually I found the place, which was like two caravans joined together, and knocked. The hairdresser opened the door a crack, looking anxious; I said who I was; and she simultaneously grabbed me by the wrist and opened the door wide enough to pull me in, saying to my daughter "Come in, come in quickly!"
She explained that the gnats were swarming and she was trying to keep them out. So that's
another gnat source for you.

Incidentally, although her parents and she had lived all their lives on Islay, she said sadly that she was not really accepted by the other islanders because she happened to have been born off the island when her parents had gone to the mainland for a short visit. You can imagine what they thought of Welsh people going to live there, particularly when one of them was the Customs and Excise officer inspecting the distilleries!

TRex

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Re: More or Les (was Bloody Plurals)
« Reply #224 on: January 31, 2018, 09:11:55 AM »
Two things: Penny - perhaps you could consider taking someone in Scotland into partnership? I love Scotland (and lived there as a child) but have bitter memories of its gnats and clegs.

I must have been about six or seven years old, playing outside in a water sprinkler when I caught a cleg (we called them horseflies) betwixt cupped hands. I managed to keep it trapped for maybe half a minute. Never tried it again.  ;D