More or Les (was Bloody Plurals)

[mkenuk]

Actually he was 'a very n------ b--', but who is arguing?

[Ozzyjack]

Hi Mike,

I think your eyesight is failing, have another look 

[whisky]

Hi

I am not a bird watcher.
I understand that some other forumites are.
This item crossed my screen.
https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/mybirdbuddy/bird-buddy-a-smart-bird-feeder
Thought some may be interested.

I have no skin in this game, just sharing info.
Michael

[mkenuk]

Hi Mike,

I think your eyesight is failing, have another look 

And there, magically, the missing word was revealed to all!

 

[Hobbit]

Hi Jack

A good night's sleep & feeling bright eyed & bushy tailed this morning!  Don't know how long it'll last

A great puzzle & an hilarious film to boot  

The Blue stories were very funny - especially the dress size one

I'm following on a theme.  Don't think I have the quote spot on but I think you'll get the gist!

#4 #4 #1 #4 #5? #5 #5. #3 #2 #4

? .
Surnames of gents in pictures 2 & 10.

A drunk stumbles out of a bar & sees two priests on the other side of the road.
He staggers across the road & stops in front of them.
He turns to the first priest & says proudly "I'm Jesus Christ"
The priest shakes his head & says "No son, you're not"
He turns to the second priest & repeats "I'm Jesus Christ"
The second priest also shakes his head & says "no you're not son!"
The drunk says "Follow me & I'll prove it to you"
The priests are curious & follow the man as he staggers back into the bar...
As soon as he gets through the door the barman exclaims
"Jesus Christ you're here again!"

            

[Ozzyjack]

Hi Pen,

That was a tough puzzle, Pen.  I think I have it nailed but I could not find an exact match although the drift can be found in several sources.

SPOILER ALERT - Today's Puzzle details

I have not progressed my puzzle this morning so I will put it in a later post.

The internet is a marvelous thing, Pen.  At night with my earphones on I can listen in to radio stations anywhere in the world.  Last night I was listening in to one near you and heard these items.

News just in is that two lorries, one full of Cadbury’s and the other full of Lego have crashed on the M4 this morning near Slough. Local radio stations are reporting that the motorway is chock a block.

We went for a walk yesterday around town. It was quite quiet. On the way home, we walked past the local cemetery. It was interesting to read all the gravestone inscriptions through the railings. My wife said “Hey look. There’s a chap here who was 137.” I asked her “What was his name?” She replied “Miles from London.”

Algernon has a wooden motorcycle. Wooden frame, wooden seat, wooden wheels and wooden engine. Does he ride it?   No. It wooden start.

With relaxation of the lockdown rules next week, the Seven Dwarfs have been told that from Monday, they can meet in groups of six. One of them isn't Happy.

[Ozzyjack]

My puzzle today is a TV competition series in which amateurs compete against each other.  The last 2 words of the title are sometimes written as one hyphenated word and that is the one I have used because it makes for an easier presentation.


3  5(#2 #3)  #7  4-3(#3 #5)

The    

Hint - in those pictures suggesting a 2-word answer, use only the first word.

[Hobbit]

Hi Jack. You were bang on with my puzzle🙂 though I'm not sure I got it quite right!! I couldn't get Youtube at work & watch it. Did it from memory😄 I'll pop back after lunch with a proper post. My corned beef sarnie is calling me Penx

[Hobbit]

I'm back Jack!

I got distracted by my friend Barbs who wanted to go for a walk.  It was quite cold but great to see her nonetheless.  I haven't seen much of her since Christmas & I do miss her.  Lockdown & the awful cold weather have put the kibosh on our meetings

I believe I've solved your puzzle. It was very clever & it took me 3 attempts but I think I got there in the end!  I'll wait for the spoiler.
Your joke 'why men shouldn't write advice columns' was hilarious   Cracked me up!

I haven't managed to sort a proper puzzle but I have come up with a quickie!
# (6+4)

If I've solved your puzzle correctly then I'm hoping mine has a bit of a link to yours!

         

From a passenger ship one can see a bearded man on a small island who is shouting and desperately waving is hands.
"Who is it?" a passenger asks the captain.
"I have no idea. Every year when we pass, he goes mad like that."

If two vegans have an argument is it still called a beef?
or is it a quornfrontation!



My post is like me - short but reasonably well formed

[Ozzyjack]

SPOILER ALERT - Yesterday's Puzzle details now updated

[Ozzyjack]

Hi Pen,


There is a copycat series of the answer to your puzzle in Australia.  It is so popular I bet even Les watches it.  I think I remember he told us at one time that he was a pretty good cook.

Has Barbs had the shots too?  If so there should be nothing to stop you from getting together more often.


Q. Which part of Scotland was also a Formula 1 World Champion?
A. Ayr Town Centre.

I stopped a guy in the street and said, "Can you help me? I'm looking for a rubbish tip." He said, "The Wallabies to beat the All Blacks in the Bledisloe Cup."

     

I'm a bit pressed today.  Will try to come up with a puzzle tomorrow.

[Hobbit]

It is so popular I bet even Les watches it.  I think I remember he told us at one time that he was a pretty good cook.

Has Barbs had the shots too?  If so there should be nothing to stop you from getting together more often.

How Do Jack

We woke to a covering of snow this morning which, thankfully, has now gone!  We did have an hour of lovely sunshine so we took the opportunity to go for a walk. 

Barbs hasn't had her jab yet though they are apparently starting on the over 70's this week in MK.  She & her husband are both in their early 70's so I'm hoping they both get it very soon.

Les seems to have gone a bit quiet for the moment. Maybe he's in the kitchen as we speak cooking up a storm   Do hope you're ok Les

My puzzle today is Zoe's suggestion.  It's a film from 1970.
#3 #5 #3 #6 #4


Hint - you're looking for the lady in the 4th picture.  Not her name though! First name of lady in last picture.

         

Two Cockney lads, Ronnie & Reggie, were walking home from the pub one Friday night.  They were very inebriated
Ronnie says to Reggie "I can't be bothered to walk all that way"
"I know" says Reggie "but we've no money left for a cab & we've missed the last bus home"
"We could steal a bus from the depot" suggests Ronnie.
They arrive at the bus depot & Ronnie tells Reggie to go in & get a bus while he keeps a look out...
After shuffling around outside for ages Ronnie shouts "Reggie what the bleedin' hell are you doing in there? Haven't you found one yet?"
Reggie shouts back "I can't find a number 91..."
"Oh you daft git take the number 14 & we'll walk from the corner"



That's all from me!

[Ozzyjack]

Hi Pen,

I had a thought for a puzzle while watching an episode of Endeavour last night.   I’ll get it out to you quickly this morning and then have a look at yours.

The puzzle is the title of a poem first published in the second edition of Departmental Ditties and Other Verses in 1886.

3  8(4 #4) #4

The
------------------             
            

The bonus question is which episode of Endeavour was I watching.

Time for a Bonnie walk.

[Ozzyjack]

SPOILER ALERT - solutions for today's puzzles

[Hobbit]

Hi Jack

I had a proper wrestle with your puzzle but I did get there in the end   I had to seek the assistance of Ms Google to find out the Endeavour episode you were watching!  I watched Morse in the Remorseful Day last night.  I'd forgotten how sad it was.

It was a beautiful sunny morning here so I decided to go for a walk round the park before lunch.  As I was walking along 2 blokes jogged past me side by side.  They came so close one of them almost touched me.  As they got past me they both spat on the ground   Spitting is totally unacceptable at the best of times but at the moment it's beyond disgusting & dangerous.  What is wrong with people?
Anyway sorry moan over!


My easy little puzzle is the first of a series of 5 books published in the 1950's. 
#3 #7 #4 #2 #3
The
Hints surname of gent & first name of lady!
For your bonus please name the author.

As I was going out for a walk this morning a man accosted my neighbour on the doorstep.  He asked Andy if he had five minutes to spare to complete an opinion poll.
Andy's reply?  "Sorry mate my opinion isn't in at the moment!  She's out walking the dog"

A woman was trying hard to get the tomato ketchup to come out of the bottle. During her struggle the phone rang so she asked her four-year-old daughter to answer the phone.
"It's the vicar Mummy" the child said to her mother.
Then she added, "Mummy can't come to the phone right now. She's hitting the bottle."

         

I'm wondering if Les has managed to sneak into the Gabba to watch the cricket

Have a few chores to do so (& more importantly a book to read )