Author Topic: More or Les (was Bloody Plurals)  (Read 309010 times)

Dragonman

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Re: More or Les (was Bloody Plurals)
« Reply #4935 on: October 26, 2020, 03:39:15 AM »

I'm confused,

Everyone says the clocks have to go back but I can't remember where I had them from.

The law says when you are driving you have to put your headlights on if its raining in Sweden, how am I supposed to know when its raining in Sweden?

Hobbit

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Re: More or Les (was Bloody Plurals)
« Reply #4936 on: October 26, 2020, 05:53:05 AM »
Oh Gareth very funny :laugh:  Cheered up a dark & very wet Sunday evening!

Ozzyjack

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Re: More or Les (was Bloody Plurals)
« Reply #4937 on: October 26, 2020, 07:10:03 AM »
Hi Pen,

I always enjoy your posts, particularly today. I’ll let you know if I don’t.

Would I have a small dig at you?  Of course I would, but in the gentlest way.   I hope Bonnie remains brave during storms. Daisy used to try to hole up in the nearest small space even in the mildest storm and was inconsolable. It was sad to watch.

I’m still undecided whether I prefer that Queensland does not have daylight saving.   Doesn’t matter. I am a simple soul, if I can’t change it, I try to enjoy it. That way lies greater happiness than fighting unwinnable fights. I acknowledge there are some that have to be fought on a matter of principle irrespective of the chance of winning but daylight saving is not one of them.

It’s another beautiful morning in the Redlands.  The sun is coming up.  It is 21oC and so that’s enough serious thought for this month, let’s have some fun.



A firefighter was working on the engine outside the station, when he noticed a little girl nearby in a little red wagon with little ladders hung off the sides, and a garden hose tightly coiled in the middle. The girl was wearing a fire fighters helmet. The wagon was being pulled by her dog and her cat.

The firefighter walked over to take a closer look.   "That sure is a nice fire truck", the firefighter said with admiration. "Thanks," the girl replied. The firefighter looked a little closer. The girl had tied the wagon to her dog's collar and to the cat's privates.

"Little partner," the firefighter said, " I don't want to tell you how to run your rig, but if you were to tie that rope around the cat's collar, I think you could go faster." The little girl replied thoughtfully, "You're probably right, but then I wouldn't have a siren!!."



A language teacher was explaining to her adult class that in French, nouns unlike their English counterparts, are grammatically designated as masculine or feminine.

“House” in French, is feminine -“la maison,” “Pencil” in French, is masculine “le crayon.”

One puzzled student asked, “What gender is computer?” The teacher did not know, and the word was not in her French dictionary.
So for fun she split the class into two groups appropriately enough, by gender and asked them to decide whether “computer” should be a masculine or a feminine noun.

Both groups were required to give four reasons for their recommendation.

The men’s group decided that computer should definitely be of the feminine gender (“la computer”), because
    1. No one but their creator understands their internal logic
    2. The native language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else
    3. Even the smallest mistakes are stored in long term memory for possible later review
    4. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your wages on accessories for it.
The women’s group, however, concluded that computers should be masculine “le computer”) because:
    1. In order to do anything with them, you have to turn them on.
    2. They have a lot of data but still can’t think for themselves
    3. They are supposed to help you solve problems, but half the time they ARE the problem
    4. As soon as you commit to one, you realise that if you had waited a little longer you could have had a better model.

Breakfast and a dog walk calls.

Cheers, Jack


“For fools rush in where angels fear to tread" - Alexander Pope in his 1711 poem 'An Essay on Criticism.”

Hobbit

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Re: More or Les (was Bloody Plurals)
« Reply #4938 on: October 26, 2020, 09:20:43 AM »
Oh Jack I just climbed into bed & read your post.  I always enjoy your posts but that one was brilliant & very funny. Too tired to reply tonight but will post tomorrow.
You're a star in many ways.
Enjoy your lovely sunny day my smashing friend :)

les303

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Re: More or Les (was Bloody Plurals)
« Reply #4939 on: October 26, 2020, 11:20:53 AM »
[quote
I followed the storm on the radar and it appeared we were on the very edge of the path.  Also, I understand it is small beer compared with what we expect in January and February.

Nevertheless, I hope Moyra and Les didn’t get caught out in it.
[/quote]

G'day Jack ,
I am glad to hear that the weather gods have been kind to Bonnie & her family with such a gentle introduction to our summer thunder storms.
Here, in town, we also got about an inch & a half of much needed & very welcome rain. There was a bit of light thunder & a little wind but basically just some nice steady rain with the only after effects in my neighbourhood being that the footpaths are now carpeted with beautiful purple jacaranda leaves. While i did consider messaging Bonnie you, i didn't think that it was warranted as there was only a very small smattering of red on the radar so i was a little surprised this morning to hear that there were quite a few suburbs that lost power & experienced some heavy winds & large hail.
Anyway enjoy your morning walk with Bonnie on this gloriously sunny morning.
See ya.


Ozzyjack

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Re: More or Les (was Bloody Plurals)
« Reply #4940 on: October 26, 2020, 04:05:35 PM »
G'day Les,

Apparently the worst hit suburbs were Mt Cotton and Victoria Point but the hail here only last 5 minutes and were pea sized.  Luck of the draw, I guess. I measured 52 mm in the gauge this morning, so that is over 90 mm in two days.  I guess my easy time with the lawnmower is over.

I enjoyed the walk but I am still acclimatising to the humidity.  I know what you mean about the jacaranda leaves - beautiful.
Cheers, Jack


“For fools rush in where angels fear to tread" - Alexander Pope in his 1711 poem 'An Essay on Criticism.”

les303

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Re: More or Les (was Bloody Plurals)
« Reply #4941 on: October 26, 2020, 06:11:36 PM »
Where exactly are you located Jack, what are your neighbouring suburbs.?
Are you closer to Thornlands, Cleveland or Victoria Point.?
Do you have plans to or have you already jumped on the ferry to check out the local islands.
Point Halloran Conservation Area should also be on your list of local places to visit as Bonnie would just love it there leading you around the boardwalks & trails & even Ozziejune might find it a nice place to visit on a lazy Sunday morning just make sure that Sealy or Subaru are getting you back home by about 2 or 3pm at the latest as that is when our storms usually begin to roll in.

I know what you mean about the humidity, it can be quite stifling when you are not used to it.
When i first moved to Brisbane from out west, i complained like a whinging pom about this stinking bloody humidity but now when i visit back out west i complain bitterly about their dry heat & lack of cooling afternoon breeze.
At the end of the day i think it is just a matter of what you are used to & i'm sure that you will acclimatise very quickly & i am just as sure that by the end of February as the last of our summer storms descend from nowhere in a matter of minutes, you will simply shrug your shoulders as you relax on the patio with Bonnie at your feet listening to the roar of the thunder, watching the magnificent lightening show & enjoying the smell of that beautiful summer rain.

auntiemo

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Re: More or Les (was Bloody Plurals)
« Reply #4942 on: October 26, 2020, 07:42:07 PM »
Hi Jack and Les. Thanks for your thoughts. We fared well in the storm...no issues with power just a lot of rain and very swirly wind that was blowing rain in windows on 3 sides of the house-seemingly simultaneously!  Most unusual, even for our summer downpours.  We ended up with Jacaranda flowers floating in the laundry basket, which was sitting on the barbecue table under the patio. And the nearest tree is 2 houses away on the far side of their yard!
My all time favourite thing about our summer storms is the fact that they are not "cold" like the Scotland and Melbourne storms I grew up with. I clearly remember my first walk home from school in warm rain....October 1965 !
Pleased to hear Bonnie was unphased.
Moyra
Redlands , Queensland, Australia

Hobbit

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Re: More or Les (was Bloody Plurals)
« Reply #4943 on: October 26, 2020, 08:03:57 PM »
Quote
When i first moved to Brisbane from out west, i complained like a whinging pom 

You can go off people you know Les!!


Gorgeous picture - how lucky you are to have that on your doorstep.  Problem is I wouldn't cope very well with all the storms :laugh:


auntiemo

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Re: More or Les (was Bloody Plurals)
« Reply #4944 on: October 26, 2020, 08:07:32 PM »
This was from a suburb near us. However, we had no hail. And as soon as the storm was over, the sun was out again. And all was good in our world  :).
Redlands , Queensland, Australia

auntiemo

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Re: More or Les (was Bloody Plurals)
« Reply #4945 on: October 26, 2020, 08:09:24 PM »
Les, Les, Les, Les, Les...you are going to get yourself in trouble....don't upset a Hobbit !
Redlands , Queensland, Australia

Hobbit

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Re: More or Les (was Bloody Plurals)
« Reply #4946 on: October 26, 2020, 09:31:23 PM »
JACK

You haven't mentioned golf for a little while so I've thrown a couple of golf jokes in for good measure!

Golfer - "I would move heaven & earth to get a birdie today"
Caddie - "Try heaven.  You've already moved most of the earth today!"

Scientific facts:
New golf balls have a strong attraction to water, and the power of the attraction is directly proportionate to how much the balls cost.
With golf, the slow groups are always in front of you and the quick groups are always behind you.
Golf is the only game where the ball lies poorly and the golfers lie well.

About a month ago, a man in Amsterdam felt that he needed to confess, so he went to his priest, "Forgive me Father, for I have sinned. During WWII I hid a refugee in my attic."
"Well," answered the priest, "that's not a sin."'
"But I made him agree to pay me 200 Guilder for every week he stayed."
"I admit that wasn't good, but you did it for a good cause."
"Oh, thank you, Father; that eases my mind." He paused for a moment and then said, "I have one more question..."
"What is that, my son?"
"Do I have to tell him the war is over?"

         

Found the last picture by accident but thought it was rather appropriate >:D

Better convert myself into super receptionist :laugh:





Hobbit

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Re: More or Les (was Bloody Plurals)
« Reply #4947 on: October 26, 2020, 10:03:48 PM »
Quote
Les, Les, Les, Les, Les...you are going to get yourself in trouble....don't upset a Hobbit !

Oh Moyra we know that Les likes to live life on the edge :laugh:

Ozzyjack

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Re: More or Les (was Bloody Plurals)
« Reply #4948 on: October 27, 2020, 03:07:06 AM »
Hi Pen,

I haven't mentioned golf for a while because we haven't been playing because of other priorities just at the moment but your jokes cheered me up.

   

   

Blue went to the Royal Easter Show in Sydney and was very interested in the new tractors that were on display. One salesman demonstrated his machine and then offered him a deal.

'You can have this model for $10,000, and I'll take off 10% for cash.'

'Blue wasn’t sure how much would be taken off but he was in pretty good with that barmaid at the pub where he was staying and she looked like a pretty smart sort of woman, so he thought he’d ask her?'

'Tell me, Dulcie, if I gave you $10,000 less 10%, how much would you take orf?'

'Jeez, Blue!' she said, 'If you gave me $10,000 less 10%, I'd take off everything bar me garters and you could use them for stirrups.’

« Last Edit: October 27, 2020, 06:08:27 AM by Ozzyjack »
Cheers, Jack


“For fools rush in where angels fear to tread" - Alexander Pope in his 1711 poem 'An Essay on Criticism.”

Hobbit

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Re: More or Les (was Bloody Plurals)
« Reply #4949 on: October 27, 2020, 06:34:54 AM »
Hi again Jack. Had a busy day & enjoyed your post when I got home :laugh:  The runaway fish tickled me!

Poor old Blue - he doesn't improve with age does he? :laugh:

Going to give my brain cell a small work out then slump in my comfy chair in front of the box :-Y