Author Topic: More or Les (was Bloody Plurals)  (Read 296551 times)

les303

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Re: More or Les (was Bloody Plurals)
« Reply #4785 on: September 28, 2020, 02:09:53 PM »
Quote
Blowed if I know, Pen.
Oh Jack if I had half a brain I'd be dangerous :laugh:  I didn't catch on until my second visit to respond to your post! 
[/quote]

I caught on straight away Pen, it was so funny of course because the pilot is actually a blow up doll.
At least that is the only possible innuendo that my innocent little brain could come up with.  :angel:


« Last Edit: September 28, 2020, 06:28:01 PM by les303 »

les303

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Re: More or Les (was Bloody Plurals)
« Reply #4786 on: September 28, 2020, 06:21:58 PM »
For some reason that last post reminded me just how hard it is to find a good job these days. >:D

My nephew Larry has been out of work for a while & he rang me up the other day asking for some tips on how to handle job interviews.
Geez mate, it's been so long since i've had a job interview, the only advice i can give you is to be upfront & honest.
At his next interview the boss said we are looking for someone who is responsible.
“Well, I’m your man.” Larry replied, “In my last job, whenever anything went wrong, they said that I was responsible.”
He got the job.
« Last Edit: September 28, 2020, 06:28:46 PM by les303 »

Hobbit

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Re: More or Les (was Bloody Plurals)
« Reply #4787 on: September 28, 2020, 10:04:35 PM »
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I caught on straight away Pen, it was so funny of course because the pilot is actually a blow up doll.
At least that is the only possible innuendo that my innocent little brain could come up with.  :angel:

Not sure that's quite what Jack had in mind Les >:D

Hobbit

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Re: More or Les (was Bloody Plurals)
« Reply #4788 on: September 28, 2020, 11:40:39 PM »
Hi Jack

Not sure I've been awesome today but I've had a very busy Monday morning!  I've left the main department & now ready for my stint on Fracture Clinic.  Hoping it's going to be a bit quieter this afternoon.  (should that be this arvo? :laugh:)

Your post made me chuckle & cheered up my morning :laugh:

A speeding motorist was caught by radar from a police helicopter in the sky. An officer pulled him over and began to issue a ticket. "How did you know I was speeding?" the frustrated driver asked.
The police officer pointed somberly towards the sky.
"You mean," asked the motorist, "that even He is against me?"

What is vicious, Victorian and lives at the bottom of the sea?
Jack the Kipper.

This man wrote into the Daily Mirror for some advice. He said, 'Dear Marge, I must get this off my chest. I did this awful golf shot, and the ball didn't go anywhere near the green. In fact it landed on this bloke's head and killed him. What shall I do?'
Marge said, 'Try and get more rhythm in your swing.'

         

Thought Les might enjoy a couple of these >:D

Crikey I can't believe Bonnie is 12 weeks old already :o  Hope the inoculations passed uneventfully.


Found this by accident & it made me smile :)

les303

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Re: More or Les (was Bloody Plurals)
« Reply #4789 on: September 29, 2020, 03:39:01 PM »
G'day Pen, just thought that i would give you an update on young Larry.

He always has a smile on his face these days because he is so happy with his new job which has put him in a position to finally get ahead in life.

Ozzyjack

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Re: More or Les (was Bloody Plurals)
« Reply #4790 on: September 29, 2020, 08:39:47 PM »
Hi Pen,

Judging by your post, you were awesome.  I noticed from another thread that Les was fascinated by things rubberier and it appears to be catching.

Bonnie came up well after her inoculation and it meant we could take her for her first walk in the park this morning.  She really enjoyed the experience.  We had to laugh this afternoon as we took her for a quick walk around the block.  As we passed one house, two huge dogs (Doberman’s?) started barking at us.  Bonnie turned and gave a determined growl.  We persuaded her that discretion was the better part of valour.

We have been advised not to take her to dog parks or other places where dogs may not have been vaccinated until she gets her 16 week shots in a month’s time.



I was reflecting about getting old and some wisdom I have accumulated:
  • When one door closes and another door opens, you are probably in prison.
  • To me, "drink responsibly" means don't spill it.
  • Age 60 might be the new 40, but 9:00 pm is the new midnight.
  • It's the start of a brand new day, and I'm off like a herd of turtles.
  • The older I get, the earlier it gets late.
  • When I say, "The other day," I could be referring to any time between yesterday and 15 years ago.
  • I remember being able to get up without making sound effects.
  • I had my patience tested. I'm negative.
  • Remember, if you lose a sock in the dryer, it comes back as a Tupperware lid that doesn't fit any of your containers.
  • If you're sitting in public and a stranger takes the seat next to you, just stare straight ahead and say, "Did you bring the money?"
  • When you ask me what I am doing today, and I say "nothing," it does not mean I am free. It means I am doing nothing.
  • I finally got eight hours of sleep. It took me three days, but whatever.
  • I run like the winded.
  • I hate when a couple argues in public, and I missed the beginning and don't know whose side I'm on.
  • When someone asks what I did over the weekend, I squint and ask, "Why, what did you hear?"
  • When you do squats, are your knees supposed to sound like a goat chewing on an aluminum can stuffed with celery?
  • I don't mean to interrupt people. I just randomly remember things and get really excited.
  • When I ask for directions, please don't use words like "east."
  • Don't bother walking a mile in my shoes. That would be boring. Spend 30 seconds in my head. That'll freak you right out.
  • Sometimes, someone unexpected comes into your life out of nowhere, makes your heart race, and changes you forever. We call those people cops
  • My luck is like a bald guy who just won a comb.


« Last Edit: September 29, 2020, 09:01:58 PM by Ozzyjack »
/b] Cheers, Jack


“Remember, when you are dead, you do not know you are dead. It is only painful for others.
The same applies when you are stupid.”― Ricky Gervais

Hobbit

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Re: More or Les (was Bloody Plurals)
« Reply #4791 on: September 29, 2020, 11:25:23 PM »
Quote

Judging by your post, you were awesome.  I noticed from another thread that Les was fascinated by things rubberier and it appears to be catching.

Bonnie came up well after her inoculation and it meant we could take her for her first walk in the park this morning.  She really enjoyed the experience.  We had to laugh this afternoon as we took her for a quick walk around the block.  As we passed one house, two huge dogs (Doberman’s?) started barking at us.  Bonnie turned and gave a determined growl.  We persuaded her that discretion was the better part of valour.


G'day Jack

I'm sad to report that I'm the opposite of awesome today!      Take your pick :laugh:
I'm just wondering if we should perhaps offer Les some help & support for his rubberier fetish >:D :laugh:

I'm so pleased that Bonnie enjoyed her first walk & even happier that she decided not to tackle the Dobermans :)

Your post made me laugh out loud - got some strange looks from the patients! I especially love the negative patience & the knee sounding like a goat chewing an aluminium can stuffed with celery :laugh:

          


Dragonman

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Re: More or Les (was Bloody Plurals)
« Reply #4792 on: September 30, 2020, 12:06:49 AM »
Thought for the day.

If I am always wrong and my Wife is always right, what  does it mean if I say to her
'' you are right '' ?

Hobbit

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Re: More or Les (was Bloody Plurals)
« Reply #4793 on: September 30, 2020, 04:45:13 AM »
I couldn't possibly say Gareth >:D

les303

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Re: More or Les (was Bloody Plurals)
« Reply #4794 on: September 30, 2020, 11:11:02 AM »
Perhaps vindicated.
I do hope that you are not under the thumb Gareth.

les303

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Re: More or Les (was Bloody Plurals)
« Reply #4795 on: September 30, 2020, 11:19:45 AM »
Pen / Jack, either by design or accident it seems that some of my posts relating to Pen's airplane clip have been turned on their head.
Anyway Jack i did enjoy your list of points of wisdom.
Just not sure if it's gladly or sadly that i ticked off just about every point on the list.


Hobbit

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Re: More or Les (was Bloody Plurals)
« Reply #4796 on: September 30, 2020, 05:55:11 PM »
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Pen / Jack, either by design or accident it seems that some of my posts relating to Pen's airplane clip have been turned on their head.

I think you'll find we're pulling your leg Les - ever so gently :laugh:

      

Hobbit

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Re: More or Les (was Bloody Plurals)
« Reply #4797 on: September 30, 2020, 06:36:29 PM »
Hi Jack

I think I'm in for a busy morning so I thought I'd do a quick post before the hordes arrive!

Judge: “Why did you steal the car?”
Man: “I had to get to work.”
Judge: “Why didn’t you take the bus?”
Man: I don’t have a driving license for the bus.

The police stop an old guy in questionable condition at 1 am.
“What are you doing out so late, sir?” asks the police officer.
“I’m going to a seminar on ‘The harmful effects of alcohol’,” replies the man.
“Are you pulling my leg or something?!“ says the police officer, „who would hold a seminar like that at this hour?!”
The man sighs, “my wife.”

      


Ozzyjack

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Re: More or Les (was Bloody Plurals)
« Reply #4798 on: September 30, 2020, 08:54:18 PM »
Hi Pen,

I had a big day.  Fertilised the lawns and put a wetting agent on them.  No smart comments, Les, I used commercial products.  :D Whippersnipped all the paths and edges and we had a visit from Dusty.

Guess the theme.

         

These are themeless.

         


/b] Cheers, Jack


“Remember, when you are dead, you do not know you are dead. It is only painful for others.
The same applies when you are stupid.”― Ricky Gervais

Hobbit

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Re: More or Les (was Bloody Plurals)
« Reply #4799 on: September 30, 2020, 11:12:01 PM »
Quote

 Whippersnipped all the paths and edges

Guess the theme.


Your post tickled me Jack :laugh:  I'm guessing the theme was that you didn't get up early enough to catch the worm >:D

I've heard of whippersnapper but never whippersnipped!!
Is that where you get on your hands & knees & trim the edges of the lawn with a pair of scissors? :laugh: