Author Topic: More or Les (was Bloody Plurals)  (Read 266843 times)

Ozzyjack

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Re: More or Les (was Bloody Plurals)
« Reply #3615 on: March 11, 2020, 05:12:53 PM »
Does Blue really drink soda? :laugh:

Good jokes, Pen, but believing Blue would drink soda water after a hard day's work is the best.  For a start, I doubt whether Blue has done a hard day's work in his life.  If he thinks he has been talking to squirrels he's got to be on something a lot stronger than soda water - especially since squirrels live on every continent except in Australia and Antarctica, according to the BBC. 

I remember the time he was so drunk, he walked into a bar and went up to a beautiful young woman and said, “So, do I come here often?”

        

This is a hard one so I will give you a clue to make it easy.  It is a book by Tim Federle.

The clue is it is a pun on Harper Lee’s first novel.  Bonus point.  Who was the hero in Harper Lee's novel?


       



Cheers, Jack


“In victory, you deserve Champagne. In defeat you need it.”  ― Napoleon Bonaparte

Hobbit

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Re: More or Les (was Bloody Plurals)
« Reply #3616 on: March 12, 2020, 02:32:47 AM »
Hi Jack

Great cartoons & a clever & very tricky puzzle :)  I got Atticus Finch - To Kill A Mockingbird quite easily but the book by Tim Federle had me stumped for a while. 

I got a bit of assistance from a younger colleague who frequents this bar which serves the tipple in question >:D

My puzzle is a book by Sue Townsend.  I did think once I'd started I'd bitten off more than I can chew :o  To get your bonus point please name the love interest of the young writer.
Theofaged&

I'm hoping it doesn't give you too much of a problem - just enough to make your brain itch a bit :laugh:

     

Better assume professional receptionist position >:D


Is this what I should aspire to do you reckon...

Ozzyjack

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Re: More or Les (was Bloody Plurals)
« Reply #3617 on: March 12, 2020, 04:19:59 AM »
Hi Pen,

Does your young friend go through the full lick, sip, suck routine?

I almost didn’t do your puzzle because it didn’t have a word count and I wanted to get back to sleep because we have a 7:30 golf game.  But I couldn’t help myself and now I understand why you didn’t give one.  How would you handle the numbers and fractions?

I asked Blue how he would handle a situation when he was approaching fourteen and his first love, Pandora, has left him; a neighbor appears to be seducing his mother; the ABC refuses to publish his poetry; and his dog swallowed the tree off the Christmas cake.

Blue said Sheila had more sense, his mum would eat his neighbor for breakfast, he had never written poetry in his life and his dog would have been too busy chasing rabbits to bother about cake.  Anyway he couldn’t remember being so young and worrying about such things. He said, “Why don’t we go have a beer and talk about what those dodgy buggers in Canberra are up to

« Last Edit: March 12, 2020, 04:23:40 AM by Ozzyjack »
Cheers, Jack


“In victory, you deserve Champagne. In defeat you need it.”  ― Napoleon Bonaparte

Hobbit

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Re: More or Les (was Bloody Plurals)
« Reply #3618 on: March 12, 2020, 06:55:59 AM »
Oh Jack your post made me roar with laughter! I've had a bit of a grueller today so you didn't half cheer me up :)  I did think about a word count or missing of the fractions but then as I'd put so much effort into doing it I decided to cross my fingers & hope for the best!

I didn't ask my friend if she does the full lick, sip & suck routine :laugh:  I'll check tomorrow!
I have to say it does sound a bit like something out of one of those X rated films you used to occasionally find on late night telly >:D



Ozzyjack

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Re: More or Les (was Bloody Plurals)
« Reply #3619 on: March 13, 2020, 01:32:33 AM »
I did think about a word count or missing of the fractions but then as I'd put so much effort into doing it I decided to cross my fingers & hope for the best!

It was a superior puzzle, Pen, and well worth the effort.

Sorry to hear you had a grueller yesterday.  I presume that means bad – I had not heard the expression before.  But it inspired my first cartoon.

   

Blue went to the doctor to see how his tests turned out.

Doctor: “Your liver results are back. And frankly, they’re very surprising considering that I only allowed you one glass of beer a day.”

Blue shrugs: “Do you really think you are the only doctor I am going to?”

On the way home he stopped for a rest on a bench in a Bowral park.  He couldn’t help overhearing a lovey-dovey couple who were sitting on a nearby bench.

She says, “My ear hurts me…” He kisses it gently and asks, “Is it better now, my darling?”

It’s all gone,” giggles the girl, “but now I have a pain here,” and she points to her neck.

The boy kisses it tenderly and asks, “Better now, sweet pea?”

“It’s all healed, my love! But now I have a very bad pain here,” she replies and points to her clavicle.

Excuse me,” interrupts Blue, “this is really impressive! Do you heal haemorrhoids as well?”


« Last Edit: March 13, 2020, 04:31:20 AM by Ozzyjack »
Cheers, Jack


“In victory, you deserve Champagne. In defeat you need it.”  ― Napoleon Bonaparte

Hobbit

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Re: More or Les (was Bloody Plurals)
« Reply #3620 on: March 13, 2020, 11:43:09 PM »

Hi Jack
As you probably guessed 'grueller' is a made up word :laugh:  It does mean bad.  Yesterday was beyond that in many respects so I'm very pleased it's Friday :)

I'm pleased you enjoyed the puzzle in spite of the lack of word count!  I will get my thinking cap on over the weekend & see if I can come up with another one to tempt you with :)

Your cartoons were brilliant - especially the first one :laugh:  Very apt.  Blue is very naughty - long may he continue >:D

I'm a little tired & short of inspiration today so I'm leaving you with a silly joke & a couple of random cartoons ;D
My new friend, Lorna, was the person in front of me at the Tesco Extra supermarket checkout counter in North Harbour, Portsmouth. Having forgotten her credit card, Lorna had written out a cheque for her purchases and was waiting for the cashier to complete the transaction.
The cashier was a fine looking young man named Richard, [according to his name badge] and instead of dealing with Lorna promptly cited 'company policy' - he asked Lorna for proof of identity.
Lorna was flabbergasted and looked totally astounded.  Eventually she managed to squeak, 'But Richard, I'm your mother.'

   

Going to have a quick sarnie & cuppa then off to Barbara's for more tea & gossip ;)



 

Ozzyjack

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Re: More or Les (was Bloody Plurals)
« Reply #3621 on: March 14, 2020, 11:43:05 PM »
Hi Pen,

Loved your cartoons although the middle one was so true.

We have made some progress.  We've signed up with an agent and agreed on a plan of action.  I won't bore you with the details but we should be in a position to advertise in about 2-3 weeks.  We are both exhausted.  It is probably as much mental as it is physical so let's have a bit of fun.

   

Blue was in a talkative mood.  He told me he took his dad, Wazza, to the mall the other day to buy some new shoes (he is 92). They decided to grab a bite at the food court.

Blue noticed Wazza watching a teenager sitting next to him. The teenager had spiked hair in all different colors: green, red, orange, and blue. Wazza kept staring at him.

The teenager would look and find him staring every time.  When the teenager had had enough, he sarcastically asked, "What's the matter, old man? Never done anything wild in your life?"

Wazza did not bat an eye and said:"Got drunk once and had sex with a peacock. I was just wondering if you were my son."



Blue asked if I wanted to hear one of his jokes.  They are often pretty weak, but I didn’t want to hurt his feelings, so I said, “OK”.

Blue told me Quasimodo went to a doctor for an annual check-up. "I think something is wrong with your back," the doctor says.

"What makes you think that?" asks Quasimodo.

"I don't know," the doctor replies. "It's just a hunch."


Cheers, Jack


“In victory, you deserve Champagne. In defeat you need it.”  ― Napoleon Bonaparte

Hobbit

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Re: More or Les (was Bloody Plurals)
« Reply #3622 on: March 15, 2020, 03:52:42 AM »
Hi Jack

I can see now where Blue gets his naughty genes from >:D   Great jokes & cartoons :laugh:

I'm not surprised you're both shattered.  I'm sure I've said it in an earlier post but as I have the memory of a goldfish I'll say it again!  It is physically & mentally exhausting moving house.  Probably more so mentally as you've got so many memories attached to your home.  Just console yourselves that it'll be worth it when you're enjoying the warmer climate :)

     

I've got a puzzle for you.  No idea if it'll work - might be too ambitious but I'll give it a whirl.  It's a book by the same author as my previous one.
It's 9 words.  3, 5, 3, 4, 2, 3, 3, 1, 4.

Thea
For your bonus can you please name the 2 adulterous astronomers in the book!

Zoe & I are having ping curries this evening so I'd better think about tootling off to the kitchen :-H


sorry the picture's a bit soppy but it's the words that count!
« Last Edit: March 15, 2020, 03:56:41 AM by Hobbit »

Ozzyjack

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Re: More or Les (was Bloody Plurals)
« Reply #3623 on: March 15, 2020, 05:59:14 AM »
Hi Pen,

That was a good puzzle and I was proud of myself for solving it without resorting to google without getting out of bed which I will have to do soon because  I don’t have any giant freezer bags  to handle things like Eva does.

I did have to resort to Google to learn that Brain (sic) and T N-F have to make new arrangements.

Well I have need of a freezer bag, so I have to go but I will try to respond with a puzzle later today and I will visit Blue to see if he has some inspiration for me.
Cheers, Jack


“In victory, you deserve Champagne. In defeat you need it.”  ― Napoleon Bonaparte

Hobbit

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Re: More or Les (was Bloody Plurals)
« Reply #3624 on: March 15, 2020, 06:28:48 AM »
Cleverly & wittily solved Jack ;)  I did read the book some while ago.  Can't say I enjoyed it very much.  I struggled through to the end but was glad when I'd finished it.

Look forward to hearing what Blue's been up to >:D

Pen

Ozzyjack

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Re: More or Les (was Bloody Plurals)
« Reply #3625 on: March 15, 2020, 04:37:45 PM »
Hi Pen,

Guess what I found on the 7-by-many a moment ago

13  Les003
13  ozzyjack

Being naturally curious, I looked for further information and I found

Player: Les003
Real Name: Les
Location: brisbane
Gender: male
Registered Since: 14 Mar 2020

Could it be?  If it is has he become dyslectic? or is it a copycat?
Cheers, Jack


“In victory, you deserve Champagne. In defeat you need it.”  ― Napoleon Bonaparte

Ozzyjack

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Re: More or Les (was Bloody Plurals)
« Reply #3626 on: March 15, 2020, 09:28:05 PM »
Hi Pen,  

I wonder what made me think of these.

   


I did go over and see Blue.  He was chortling over a conversation Sheila had.  Sheila is helping a girlfriend by working in her antique shop.  As an aside, I am sure you know that the southern Highlands is known for its many antique shops.

Anyway, a woman named Claire, after retiring from a busy life in business, apparently travels around the country visiting antique shops trying to find bargains.

One day, she went into Sheila’s antique shop in Bowral.  Claire said to Sheila "When I was in here last week, I saw a big mug with a flat head that holds a lot of beer. I'd like to buy it."

"Sorry," replied Sheila, "but I can't possibly sell you that."

"Oh, what a pity, but why not?" inquired Claire.

"Because," said Sheila, "that's my husband."


Blue also told me about his mate Bookham, who is a cop.

Bookham recently stopped a woman for speeding. He asked the driver her name.

She said, "I'm Mrs. Ladislav Abdulkhashim Zybkcicraznovskaya from the Republic of Uzbekistan and I am travelling from Sydney to visiting my daughter in Mamungkukumpurangkuntjunya Hill* in South Australia.

Bookham put away his summons book and pen, and said, "Well... OK... but don't let me catch you speeding again."

* For those interested in trivia, the longest official place name in Australia contains a Pitjantjatjara word, Mamungkukumpurangkuntjunya Hill in South Australia, which means "where a devil urinates".

The puzzle is a book by Clive James  7 7 7.

         

The bonus point is to pronounce Mamungkukumpurangkuntjunya.  you don't have to produce proof  :D >:D ;)

I’ll say bye bye because


« Last Edit: March 15, 2020, 09:33:35 PM by Ozzyjack »
Cheers, Jack


“In victory, you deserve Champagne. In defeat you need it.”  ― Napoleon Bonaparte

Leedscot

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Re: More or Les (was Bloody Plurals)
« Reply #3627 on: March 15, 2020, 09:47:32 PM »
Ozzyjack, if it does turn out to be Les303 as was, please publicise it more widely. I’m sure many of us would welcome him back with great joy.

Jock

Hobbit

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Re: More or Les (was Bloody Plurals)
« Reply #3628 on: March 15, 2020, 11:19:10 PM »
Quote

Guess what I found on the 7-by-many a moment ago

13  Les003
13  ozzyjack

Could it be?  If it is has he become dyslectic? or is it a copycat?
ooh Jack that's fairly exciting :laugh:
I wonder?  Like you say it could be a copycat or he might simply have forgotten who to spell >:D
I have to agree with Jock!
I will give your puzzle my full attention when I've scoffed my egg sarnie with a cup of builders :laugh:
Pen

Linda

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Re: More or Les (was Bloody Plurals)
« Reply #3629 on: March 16, 2020, 12:06:50 AM »
Quote
egg sarnie

Yum - my favourite!  Plenty of pepper, salt and salad cream/mayo and usually on thick, white bread!  Are you sure we weren't separated at birth, Pen?  However, I don't do tea of any kind, strong black coffee, for me! >:D