More or Les (was Bloody Plurals)

[Ozzyjack]

Hi Pen,

Write-ups:
Hide
Chief
sandwich

Retro humour:
 

Challenge: 3,7,3,6,5

the

[Hobbit]

Hi Jack

I got 'pot calling the kettle black' but then it took me a while to figure out what the pile of chips were!  Numpty!  Your retro cartoons made me chuckle

Works busy so I'm just paying a flying visit!

 

I wonder if Zoe is a

4, 3, 3, 3, 5
Another easy one!

I was sad to read that the koala who was rescued has died. Really upset me.  Poor little chap such a shame.

[Ozzyjack]

Hi Pen,

I’m really looking forward to tomorrow.  Unless something comes up, I can have a restful day. Last week, and this week so far, I’ve been flat out like a lizard drinking.
Write-ups:
The Pot
Chip
Retro Humour:

   
A Punny story:

An Native American chief had three wives, each of whom was pregnant.

The first gave birth to a boy. The chief was so elated that he built her a teepee made of deer hide.

A few days later, the second gave birth, also to a boy. The chief was very happy. He built her a teepee made of antelope hide.
The third wife gave birth a few days later, but the chief kept the details a secret. He built this one a two story teepee, made out of a hippopotamus hide. The chief then challenged the tribe to guess what had occurred.

Many tried, unsuccessfully. Finally, one young brave declared that the third wife had given birth to twin boys.

"Correct," said the chief. "How did you figure it out?"

The warrior answered, "It's elementary. The value of the squaw of the hippopotamus is equal to the sons of the squaws of the other two hides."

Puzzle:  

This is one to keep to yourself, Pen.  7,3,2,3,3,3-4

The answer to this challenge is [

[Hobbit]

Hi Jack

I love your expression about being flat out like a lizard drinking   Never heard that before.  Your puzzle has me totally stumped for the moment!  I will return to it later when I may have to ask for a clue.

I'm enjoying the retro humour & the punny story was very clever.

      

A husband and wife are sitting in church listening to a sermon about Adam and Eve. The husband is taking notes when he notices his wife dozing off. He gently pokes her with his pencil and she wakes up. The Adam and Eve sermon continues but a few minutes later, he notices her dozing off again. This time he pokes her a little bit harder. She pops right up and apologizes to her husband for nodding off. Sermon continues and the preacher asks the congregation, "Do you know what the first words Eve spoke to Adam were?" Noticing his wife was asleep again and not wanting her to miss this, he gives her a solid poke with his pencil once more. Furious, she stands up and yells, "If you poke me with that thing one more time, I'm going to break it in half!"

If I manage to solve your challenge do you want me to
itM
4, 2, 5, 2, 3


Enjoy your lovely, lazy, restful day  Pen

[Ozzyjack]

Hi Pen,

In answer to your pictorial question. - not necessarily

The expression “keep it to ourselves” was more of a veiled hint about the meaning of my challenge rather than a direction not to spill the beans.  I’m sure it will all come clear over a glass of wine when you get home and I am finishing off my beauty  sleep. 

[Hobbit]

Hi Jack

Had to go out & only just got back.  Had another look at your challenge but am still stumped   Will return to it with a fresh eye tomorrow

I'm going to slump in front of the telly for an hour & then hit my pit!

I hope you get your wish of a lovely restful day

Pen

[Ozzyjack]

I hope you get your wish of a lovely restful day

Hi Pen,

I slept in this morning past 7, probably for the first time for over a year.  I had to help with some shopping and did a couple of short dog walks.  I was planning an afternoon "poppy nap" to build up stamina for Gym and golf tomorrow but always found something else to do.  So I am still knacked.  Those "off the mark" cartoons are consistently good.

Write-ups: Keep

I’ll give you a few hints on my outstanding challenge.  There are two words that are not portrayed in the pictures.  The first word in the solution is a situational preposition.  The fourth word is an implicit conjunction.  Have fun

More Retro:

 

Some War stories about Blue’s grandfather:

Blue told me that his grandfather, Whisper, he was called that because he would never shout a drink, was given a medal in WWI for single-handedly wiping out the German lines of communication.  I asked how he did that.  Blue replied “He ate their pigeon.”

Whisper survived many attacks by mustard gas and pepper spray.  So, he was known as a seasoned veteran.

It is well known that there was often friction between British Officers and Aussie non-coms about the Aussies lack of displayed respect for rank.  An Officer said to Whisper “Private, do you have change of a pound.”  Whisper responded “Sure mate, no worries”.  The Officer says "That's no way to address an officer! Now let's try it again! Private,. Do you have change for a pound?" Whisper replied, "No, SIR!"

I won’t burden you with another challenge until I find out how you are going with the last one.

[Hobbit]

I'd posted just after you so I'm amending it.  Thanks for the additional help - I'll give it a bit more thought &
M

 

Back a bit later....

[Ozzyjack]

Hi Pen,

You are nearly there.  Between you, me and the gate-"?"

[Hobbit]

Oh Jack I'm a proper numpty   'between you me & the gate post'   

Feel better now
Thanksx

[Hobbit]

Got back! 

Here's a small random selection

One day the zoo-keeper noticed that the monkey was reading two books - the Bible and Darwin's The Origin of Species. In surprise he asked the ape, "Why are you reading both those books"? "Well," said the monkey, "I just wanted to know if I was my brother's keeper or my keeper's brother.

Three conspiracy theorists walk into a bar.  You can't tell me that's a coincidence.

Adam and Eve had been brainstorming with God for what felt like an eternity.
"Two dozen hours?" asked Adam.
"One seventh of a week?" suggested Eve.
God shook his head and sighed. "Let's just call it a day."

    

and a proper 3 day weekend

[Ozzyjack]

Hi Pen,

Well done.  Now you have got the hang of it this one will be a shoo-in. 7,3,5,3,3,4,4,3

The answer is

Your funnies were spot on.  I haven't got the time to reciprocate now.  Must Rush.   Breakfast then Gym.  Enjoy your long weekend

[Hobbit]

Hi Jack

Long day & a horrid drive home.  It was raining, dark & very busy.  Queues of traffic at every turn.  Saw an accident which was fortunately on the other side of the road.  Though not fortunate for those involved

Is it 'between the devil & the deep blue sea'?

I'm soooo looking forward to my 3 days off   Bit knacked

catch you later crocodile

[Ozzyjack]

Hi Pen,

Yes, it was between the devil and the deep blue sea.

I was a bit knacked after my golf game.  It was only a social game for Lotto tickets.  If it had been a  competition game I would have broken my handicap and lost some strokes.  The fact that I played so well in a social game, prompted my opponent to call me a bushranger.  The response I gave him provides me with your challenge,  I said it was just one of those occasions when I was  6,2,3,9.


-----------------------------------------------



I read in he paper today that the man who invented Chinese Whispers has died.  May he test tin peas.

The same paper claimed a TV company had been trying to sell the rights to The Flinstones in the Middle East, with little success.  Apparently, the people of Dubai don’t get it but those in Abu Dhabi do.

Blue and Sheila were having dinner when Blue started coughing and gasping for air.  She asked “Are you choking?”  Blue shakes his head and wheezes   “No, I’m serious.

        

[Hobbit]

Hi Jack

I was happy to read that you played well today (yesterday ) & were 'firing on all cylinders'   I had to look up bushranger!! Seems a little harsh but I presume he was joking!!
      

I've had a busy enjoyable day.  Just spent the afternoon with my friend.  We had a lovely walk - it was cold but sunny.  Then we had a good chinwag over a cuppa.  First day it hasn't rained for yonks!  Your jokes & cartoons made me really chuckle

Just have a few minutes before Zoe comes in for her dinner

Do you think I should offer a

A bit too easy but I'm running short of time!

Off to the kitchen to see