More or Les (was Bloody Plurals)

[Hobbit]

JACK
I've been trying to decide what that mouse is cooking in the frying pan!

You were quite right in your assessment of yesterday's game.  My boy played especially well

You can't have too many pictures of him   or should I say "I"

Here's a few examples of some sledging!

Merv Hughes & Javed Miandad

1991 Adelaide Test: Javed called Merv a fat bus conductor. A few balls later Merv dismissed Javed. “Tickets please,” Merv called out as he ran past Javed.

If it had been a cheese roll, it would never have got past him. Graham Gooch on Mike Gatting being bowled by Warne

Daryll Cullinan to Shane Warne -

Shane Warne : I’ve waited two years for another chance to humiliate you.
Daryll Cullinan : Looks like you spent it eating.

      

Off to the kitchen to check that the microwave is still working so I can ping my curry

Pen

[Ozzyjack]

Pen,



I have been spending too much time watching the American Open Golf.  Because it is in California, I could watch it live because the telecast starts at 5 am but I prefer to record it and give it an hour or so start so I can fast forward through the ads.  I looked for a square eyed TV watcher GIF and couldn't find one so there is a challenge for you .

My Bletchley spy tells me that Bob Davis OBE aka Jasper Carrot is performing at the MK Theatre tonight at 7:30, and that you might be going.  He must be able to draw a crowd as the theatre has a capacity of 1400. I thought you might appreciate a few warm-up skits to get you in the mood.

On Growing Old
Woolworths
Marathon Experience

In the first skit, he talks about reaching 3 score and 10 years and so tonight he's 4 years overdrawn and he's a young man compared with me.  .

OH. I'm so depressed I need a laugh:

               

 

[Hobbit]

JACK

In my excitement about the cricket I completely forgot about the golf.  I accepted your challenge & came up with a picture which I'll have to attach as when I tried to copy it I got reams & reams of characters

Your spy is very reliable   I am going to Milton Keynes Theatre this evening to see Jasper Carrot   Very much looking forward to it.  Hope I'm not going to be disappointed!  I very much enjoyed the warm up skits

      

A golfer sliced a ball into a field of chickens, striking one of the hens and killing it instantly. He was understandably upset, and sought out the farmer. “I’m sorry,” he said, “my terrible tee-shot hit one of your hens and killed it. Can I replace the hen?”

“I don’t know about that,” replied the farmer, mulling it over. “How many eggs a day do you lay?”

This is as old as the hills but always makes me laugh!
Del

I wonder if your spy is going to grass me up & tell you that it's fish fingers again tonight

Back soon! Pen

[Hobbit]

JACK

Had a wonderful evening with Jasper   Very funny & it just flew by.  The music was provided by Bev Bevan who was formerly in ELO & a guy called Geoff Turton who was with a group in the 60's called the Rockin' Berries.  Some of the very old stuff wasn't my cup of tea but they finished the evening with Mr Blue Sky & Don't Bring Me Down.  Nearly everybody was on their feet & singing along

No work for me today which is fab.  I've done a little gentle hoovering & off to visit my friend Barbs after lunch.  What could be better?  (apart from a date with George Clooney perhaps )

A little naughtiness
      

& a couple of minions
      


Pen

[Ozzyjack]

Hi Pen,

That was a fantastic response to the challenge.  I'm glad you enjoyed jasper


It was a great US Open.  When it got down to a three horse race I was barracking for Rose, Koepka, and Woodland in that order.  In general terms my first wish is for an Australian to win and if that isn’t possible, then a member of the European tour.  Although American, Koepka rose through the ranks of the European tour.   In going for individuals, I put a high value on demeanour and character.  All three are terrific role models and so I wasn’t disappointed when they finished in reverse order.

Only fools and Horses is always good for a laugh, have you seen Save the Wales

   

[Hobbit]

Hi Jack

So pleased you enjoyed the golf.  I had seen Save the Wales yonks ago but it still made me roar with laughter.  Rodney's face is a picture

Back to the coalface tomorrow

Pen

[Ozzyjack]

Hi Pen,

I am glad I am philosophical and psychologically opposed to calling myself a numpty, otherwise I might be tempted.

I was very tired last night (but not emotional  ) and I had just about finished a post when I hit the wrong key and deleted the lot.  I rushed through a new one and sent it off.  This morning my editor-in-chief asked me if I had a special reason for using one of the cartoons you had used in your post to me.  Sure enough, she was right and I have deleted it.  But it does show we sing from the same hymn book.

I spent a good deal of time yesterday looking through Bernard Manning skits to see if there were any that were politically correct enough to post in this forum.   Couldn’t find one.   So that’s your challenge for today.

In the meantime, I will give you some skits from some bashful Aussie women you may not have seen before:

Judith Lucy

Hannah Gadsby

Kitty Flanagan

[Hobbit]

Morning Jack

Feeling a bit grumpy after my lovely long weekend   You did give me cause to smile though   I think it's very apt that you posted the same cartoon.  Shows we have impeccable taste!  Mind you, your Editor in Chief might just think we're both numptys   You for doing it & me for not bringing it to your attention!  Great minds think alike & fools seldom differ

I will search for Bernard Manning later at home though I don't hold out much hope! I will also look at your shy & retiring Aussie ladies!  Do you remember the dreadful Hyacinth Bucket?  Found these by accident!
   

A small random selection for you.
      


Must transmogrify into a professional receptionist....

[Hobbit]

Hi Jack

I enjoyed your ladies   For some strange reason the first lady, Judith Lucy reminded me of Dame Edna
I failed miserably with Bernard Manning but I did find this whilst looking.  Tickled me
You Can't Park There!

Pen






 

[Ozzyjack]

  Pen


We really enjoyed the Keeping Up Appearances series.  I felt for poor Richard and Onslow’s wife.  Great cartoons.

Transmogrify?, Pen.  You had me running to the Dictionary.

I’m glad you liked the Aussie skits but enough of the colonials for the time being:

An archetypal Englishman
Just kidding, this is the real deal
This one is not rough, it has Polish

With some trepidation, I offer these:

        

 

[Hobbit]

  JACK

I actually thought transmogrify was a silly made up word that I picked up years ago   Bit like knacked! I looked it up & discovered that it really does exist

Please don't be trepidated I enjoyed your cartoon offering   I will enjoy the rest this evening after dinner
I seem to have moved on to restaurants! Must have been the mention of dinner
        



Pen

[Hobbit]

G'day Jack

I obviously wasn't firing on all cylinders yesterday   I popped in after dinner to watch the sketches.  I particularly loved Omid Djalili   Is it sad that I felt sorry for Harry Enfield's character in This one is not rough it has polish!  I've only just realised that your funny little eskimo standing outside the igloo with the pronged fork is having a BBQ   So you were off to have a BBQ!!
  If I had half a brain I'd be dangerous

Just gearing up for a busy morning on the dreaded fracture clinic...
   

see you later alligator
Pen

[Ozzyjack]

Hi Pen,

I was pulling your leg about needing to look up transmogrify but a while back when you introduced knacked to the conversation I did go looking to see if it was a real word and I found it in several dictionaries.  The best definition I found was:

Shortened version of "knackered". When you are so knackered you don't even have the strength to say "knackered" and can only go as far as "knacked".

The wife made me work out this morning. I'm totally knacked.

A friend of mine has contracted pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis – it’s a bit of a worry.

I don’t think I’ve seen this Benny Hill before
I indentify with this skit
A little more Kitty

                 





P.S.   I see you've just posted.   I'm expecting a visitor so I will respond to it tomorrow

[Hobbit]

With your visitor JACK

Catch you tomorrow by which time

[Ozzyjack]

Hi Pen,

Some comments on things in our recent posts.

I've only just realised that your funny little eskimo standing outside the igloo with the pronged fork is having a BBQ  So you were off to have a BBQ!!

That is a great deduction but all I was saying was Gotta go, Eskimo.

A friend of mine has contracted pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis – it’s a bit of a worry.

Actually he has got Pseudopseudohypoparathyroidism.  I was just demonstrating it is not only the Welsh and the Germans who can have long words.

Hope you have a good day with your visitor, Jack.

Actually, he is up from Canberra for several days and it will be a great opportunity to sample several malt nightcaps.

We mentioned Keeping up appearances. I just learnt that Clive Swift (Richard) died in February this year aged 82.
Here is a small tribute to him

Well onto new ground.  At this time of the year, I wish I was at the beach where you do see some funny things