More or Les (was Bloody Plurals)

[Ozzyjack]

Some more extracts from the 2006 Journal to finish off Scotland.

Monday 4 September
The Craighaar was in many ways the best hotel we have stayed at in the U.K.  I asked about the name because I thought a Haar was a breeze – it is a sea mist that rolls in over the land.

We left Aberdeen about 10 am and drove to Dunfermline (near Edinburgh).  Much of the drive was through sparsely populated highlands until we reached the Perth area.  Ski fields in one area seemed as if they would be a bit rough unless you could ski straight, or the snow was deep.  From the posts marking snow depth along the road, this would probably be the case. 

The Express by Holiday Inn is a business-oriented hotel in the Intercontinental group and this one is quite new.  It doesn’t provide much in the way of food, except for a continental breakfast, but the rooms, although not large, have a good desk and lots of reading lamps and free internet access.

Steve Irwin’s death is the biggest news item here.  The receptionist at the desk gave us her condolences – “bad news about Australia”.  We were a bit startled and had to think hard to know what she was talking about. It seemed a bit peculiar as 14 soldiers based in Scotland have just been killed in an aircraft crash in Afghanistan

Tuesday 5 September

As it was raining heavily and sightseeing opportunities were limited, we drove to “Scotland’s Secret Bunker”.  This is obviously not at all secret now and is marked clearly on my map.  It is in a rather sparsely settled farming area south of St Andrews. 

The bunker is quite a large underground complex under what would have looked like an ordinary farmhouse on the surface.  It was built in the Cold War period for the survival of “essential” personnel when a nuclear strike on the UK was expected.  Some rooms are locked and the message on the door says their contents are still classified.  It is very interesting and well worth a visit, but I found it very disturbing.  Largely, I think because of the films we saw that were made for the “ordinary” people on what to do in a nuclear attack were designed to “keep them calm”.  It was quite clear that there was no expectation that the people would survive a nuclear attack.

Wednesday 6 September

We drove to Edinburgh to go up Arthur’s Seat (the hill overlooking the city) where the view is fantastic.  Then with only a minimum of wandering we got ourselves out of the city and drove to St Andrews.  We were fortunate to get parking in the street above St Andrews and had a very good lunch in the bar of a nearby hotel (The Scores).  D said it was the best fish so far in the UK. We then walked some of the holes of the Old Course.  We took in some sights around St Andrews township and then back to our hotel.  A very enjoyable day.

Thursday 7 September

We decided to go via Stirling where we went to the Wallace memorial which is a tower on top of a hill.  We then found that the mini bus which normally drives people to the base of the tower was out of commission for a while we walked up the steep road – about ½ a mile and 600 ft in elevation.  We only took 4 breathers (rest stops)

The monument is on the Abbey Craig, a rocky crag from which Wallace watched the English army gather on the South side of Sterling Bridge.  246 steps take you to the top of the tower and there are three chambers where you can stop off during the climb.  The chambers have 30 feet ceilings.
 
The first chamber has a good audio-visual and the broadsword of William Morris which is 5ft 4 ins long and weighs 6 lbs.  –   Wallace was estimated to be 6ft 6 ins tall and if he could wield that great weapon he would have no trouble tossing the caber.  Mel Gibson must have felt a little inadequate. 

We climbed the tower – the steps are a narrow, spiral staircase inside the tower.  The stairs are essentially one-person wide so people coming down must squeeze past people going up.  One woman got panicky about 2/3rds way up to the 1st chamber and could go no further.  I was very pleased as I got up and down the tower in good order (as did D)

From there we went in search of lunch and drove to the Bridge of Allan.  The Bridge Inn was excellent – for the food, service, appearance and atmosphere.  It was another place D could happily have settled into. 

After I dragged him out of there we went towards Callender.  On our way in the middle of the countryside we passed a memorial to Sir David Sterling who founded the SAS and was a prisoner and escapee from Colditz. 

We went to Callender to see the Rob Roy visitors centre but this was a bit disappointing.  Part of the display was closed because of electrical problems, so we saw a film and then left.  Callender was full of coaches with elderly shoppers.  An elderly person is someone who looks 10+ years older than us

.

Rob Roy MacGregor (1671-1734) was a mixture of Ned Kelly, Robin Hood and your average Reiver Chief.  In his lifetime, he mainly went under his mother’s name of Campbell as using the name of MacGregor was punishable by death because of some initiatives of the clan a century before.  He would not be so well known today if Daniel Defoe and Sir Walter Scott had not written novels about him and enhanced his reputation much as Ned Buntline did for Billy the Kid.  Defoe’s novel earned MacGregor a royal pardon - The epitaph on his grave “Macgregor despite them” was added in 1920. 

We then turned south and skirted around Glasgow to get to Monkton to the south. The Hotel Manor Park Prestwick does not quite match its internet description. 

The only way to our room was around the back of the building past a collapsed jumping castle and through poorly maintained grounds.  The outside door could not be opened by the receptionist who was showing us to our room as it had swollen with the recent rain and was jammed.  Our room is large, as is the bathroom/toilet and could be quite grand; however there is no remote for the TV, no cord for the jug and the toilet outlet pipe seems to leak onto the bathroom carpet. 

The car park is full of vehicles which we think they are parking for a price for people who fly from the nearby Prestwick airport and so we had to park some distance from reception.

Friday 8 September

We did a round trip to inspect the Tunbridge and Troon golf courses.

We drove back along a minor road along the coast stopping at Dunmure to look at a ruined 15th C castle and its dovecot.  The dovecot is a tall cylindrical stone building with only a small door and no windows.  Apparently about 200 birds were kept in it for their eggs and meat (very dark inside). 

We stopped at Kirkoswald for a pitstop at the public toilets.  We found ourselves opposite Kirkton Jean’s pub and just up the road from Souter Johnnie’s house.  This meant nothing to me but if you are a fan of Robert Burns you would know that they were characters from his poem Tam O’Shanter and were based on well-known Kirkoswald people in the 1800’s.

And so what did I think of

•   The drive to Perth -  some great views
•   The Express by Holiday Inn – probably the best bedroom for function and space – cannot  match the Craighaar for atmosphere
•   Scotland’s Secret Bunker – the weather is always the same inside.  I agree with June that it is an eerie experience
•   Arthur’s seat – the view from the road is good and if you have the energy to climb to the top it was fantastic
•   St. Andrews – As religious people make Pilgrimages to their sacred sights, golfers make a pilgrimage to the Old Course at St Andrews, and this time we saw the town sights as well
•   Edinburgh – so we only drove around a few streets this time – I still love it
•   The Wallace Memorial - well worth the exercise for the fit and a personal triumph for the “hobblies”
•   The Bridge Inn - if I had a local like that it would be hard to get me to go to Highlands Golf Club for a beer.  Is there any greater praise?
•   Rob Roy Exhibit – I will always wonder if it was worth a visit if their display worked.
•   Sir David Sterling memorial – a fantastic statue in the middle of nowhere.
•   The Hotel Manor Park Prestwick – with some proper maintenance and the staff we had met in our last two hotels it could be great – as it is, it is not worth even our discounted rate.
•   Troon and Turnbridge – good tracks but would I enjoy playing them 20 times more than New Brighton to justify the cost of playing there?  At least, that was my logic for not seeking a game.

[Ozzyjack]

I'm left wondering how much of the scotch actually made it back to Australia

Hi Pen,

The Journal is silent on the matter but my recollection is that two bottles made it.  The one I bought for sharing with A and one that the woman at Cardhu said was perfect with Fruit Cake and so we saved it and drank it with Christmas cake.

Because I like single malts so much, I have strict rules about drinking it at home.  It is only permissible if

* I have a cold or flu - it doesn't cure the illness but it makes the symptoms a lot more bearable.
* I come home from golf, on a cold and rainy day, chilled to the bone.
* A's visiting and then we have to have the ritual nightcap - traditions must be upheld.
* It is a special occasion.  I tried to convince June that days ending in "y" were special but she wouldn't buy it.

So my bottle of Glenmorangie Nectar D'or can sit on the shelf untouched for a month or more.

I tried to send The Two Ronnie’s -a Hunting we will go for the past two nights but each time it crashed and I had to delete it.  Hope I've solved the problem this time.

I can't understand why you've never been to Scotland, it's just up the road.  

Chin Chin

[mkenuk]

Some familiar places there, Jack.
I'm English, but I went to University in Scotland (Aberdeen) and worked in Scotland as a teacher for a few years after graduation. I have many fond memories of the place.

I got to know the golf course at Troon one summer when I got a summer job working as a porter at the Marine Hotel which is next to it.
The Marine was the stopover hotel for most of the pilots flying in and out of Prestwick Airport which is just down the road.
One of their perks was to be able to play the course, which has been used more than once for the British Open. As a hotel employee, I could occasionally make a bit of cash by caddying for these guys, although I never actually got to play the course myself. Far too expensive for an impoverished student.

[birdy]

A good likeness, wouldn't you say?  I can't use that avatar on Chihuahua because of Linda's delicate sensibilities.

Apart from the brown eyes, I can't imagine you as a Black Vulture although you seem to have identified with them as far back  as 2013 on Facebook.  I think I picture you as an owl.  You could use one of them as an avatar on Chihuahua because I understand that owls are the only birds Linda likes.
How about This

My goodness!  Have I been on Facebook that long?!

The owl is probably much too scholarly an image for me.  They are beautiful birds - well, some of them are more cute.  I think I picked the black vulture because vultures are such underappreciated (this is a euphemism) creatures.  Some people have looked at my avatar and thought it was a turkey. Well, if the shoe fits...I'll just have to live with it! 

[Les303]

Oh Birdy, you have totally shattered my illusion of you.
I thought that your avatar was an image of you hang gliding off the Brooklyn Bridge.

And Val, thankyou for explaining your avatar as I had absolutely no idea of what it was supposed to be & was never game to ask.


And Jack, thanks to yourself & June for sharing your travel journals with us all, I particularly like the way that you let us know which excerpt is from June & which excerpt is from yourself.

[anona]

The pictures are so tiny, I thought birdy's was of a skier going down a very steep slope, and that Val's was a Father Christmas (which I did think was a tad odd).

[Hobbit]

So my bottle of Glenmorangie Nectar D'or can sit on the shelf untouched for a month or more.

I tried to send The Two Ronnie’s -a Hunting we will go for the past two nights but each time it crashed and I had to delete it.  Hope I've solved the problem this time.

I can't understand why you've never been to Scotland, it's just up the road.  

Afternoon Jack (or Evening?)
I was AWOL yesterday evening as I went to visit an old friend!
I loved reading about your travels around Scotland & all the details of the different places you visited & stayed.  I wish that it was "just up the road"!  When Zoe went last year she had to fly from Luton to Inverness & then they picked up a hire car.  It then took them another three odd hours to drive to the Isle of Skye
I'm guessing you're smiling when you read this as that's a short hop & a skip for you!
I was so pleased to hear that two bottles made it safely home with you.  I like your rationale for being allowed a tipple   You've obviously have super will power
Better look like I'm here to work
I will enjoy The Two Ronnies later after dinner
Pen

[Linda]

Hi Hobbit

I live close to the Scottish Borders and once went to stay in Gairloch - it took us about as long to get there as it did to drive down to Devon!  Well worth it though - the scenery is stunning - just try and avoid the midges! 

[Hobbit]

Hi Linda

I'm always so very jealous of where you live!  You have so many wonderful places on your doorstep.
I would love to visit Scotland but I'd have to get on the train!  Zoe visited the Isle of Skye & got eaten by the midges.  The repellent they took with them didn't work at all!
I'm visiting my cousin in the peak district in Derbyshire next month.  Another beautiful part of the world.

Pen

[Les303]

A poem by Maggie Pollock, Scotland

You go on your hoidays a wee camping trip
The sun is shining this life yes this is it,
You set up your tent a place for the night
Here it is brilliant not a wee midge in sight.
But, the wee midge is up there up in the trees
He sits up there laughing at you and me.

Noo the wee midge is tiny he's bloody minute
But once he has bitten then he's no so cute,
See, midges don't come in ones or in twos
They come in their thousands looking for you.
You run like an eejit you canny stand still
But they willnae leave tuil they've had their fill,

You'll swipe with your hands wave things in the air
You learn a new dance but the wee midgie doesnae care.
You light a big bonfire to try and smoke them away
Who are you kidding they're here to stay,
They get up your nose in your ears and your mooth
You swally the buggers your language uncouth.

You swipe with your arms you might kill a few
They treble in numbers laughing at you.
I've seen macho men feart of nothing at aw
Jumping and screaming their antics were braw,
A've seen them Machos brought tae their knees
Bubblin like weans the midges laughin in the trees.

You buy aw this stuff Jungle Juice and Shoo
There no gitten you so you buy two,
But it disnae always work with the midges up here
They want your blood "They'll get it my dear."
See the wee midge, they canny fathom him oot
Because once he has bitten in big lumps you'll be oot.

You'll scratch and you'll claw aw day and aw night
The itch drives you mad the lumps look a sight,
The itch drives you mad it drives you insane,
But still they wee midges won't leave you alane.
There's nowhere to run nowhere to hide
The midges will git you if there you bide.

Noo you might come back in one year or two
The wee midges will still be waitin for you,
They'll still be hidin up in the trees
They'll be waitin for you and me.
So come to Bonnie Scotland it really is nice
After a night with the midges,
I bet you'll think twice.

[Hobbit]

That's brilliant Les
Very funny & so true!
Penx

[Ozzyjack]

In 2010, we revisited many of the places we visited in in 2006 because we had A with us and we wanted to share with him the places we had enjoyed.  However, this was the first time we had been to the Isle of Sky.

The reason June did not take part in any of the activities involving significant walking or climbing was that she had put off a needed knee replacement operation until after our trip.

Saturday 17 July

We packed up and left Carlisle by about 10.40.  We decided to take the main road (M6) north and had good travelling conditions except on the Glasgow by-pass where there was a long stretch of road work and slow travelling conditions.
 
We had lunch at the Old Bridge Inn at the Bridge of Allen which we liked in 2006 and it did not disappoint.  The food and atmosphere was still good, so we were pleased with our visit.

D had driven to this point, so I took over driving until we got to Glen Coe (Glencoe).  We stopped briefly for D and A to look at the David Sterling memorial (he set up the SAS and escaped from Colditz).  I resisted D’s and A’s pleas to visit the Rob Roy exhibition in Callender and did not stop until Glen Coe.

Glen Coe was pretty forbidding – rainy and windy but the exhibition is quite good.  D took over driving from there and we focussed on getting to the Kyle of Lochalsh where we are staying.  (This is just on the mainland near the bridge to Skye).  All up the drive was about 5 hours and the traffic was heavy all the way with lots of holiday makers setting off at the beginning of the school holidays.

The Lochalsh Hotel is oldish, and the rooms are fairly basic but comfortable.  Dinner was reasonable – good pub food.  

A and I were very amused at dinner by the conversation between the young German waitress and D, who was keen to show off his limited German.  She was taking our orders and D went first and asked for the pate as an entree.  She clearly did not understand a word he had said, even when he switched to English, and with some pointing at the menu, the order was taken.  A ordered some wine (Reisling) – she did not really understand this either and went off to check with the woman in charge.  She came back and said they didn’t have that.  She then went on to say (very nicely), that she was sorry she only speaks German and English; to which we all nodded sympathetically and then A and I realised what she had said.  Poor D could not see why we laughed so much.

No regrets on missing the Rob Roy exhibit. It did seem more of a shame that M has so far missed a museum dedicated to paperweights, one to old bicycles and a high class pencil museum. D and I have offered to wait in the car for as long as M wanted to visit them. The answer has generally been (in my case) a finger flick at an ear and (in D’s Case) an instruction to keep driving.

Sunday 18 July

Breakfast at 8am was generally fine except that A decided to be brave and try haggis.  I tried a small piece and it was gritty and slightly spiced to taste.  He described it as peppery, slightly soggy gravel.  Feeling appropriately nourished we were then ready to set off on a day of exploring Skye.  

We were pleased to find that the toll on the bridge to Skye (which a friend of ours said cost an arm and a leg when he was here) has been abolished.  

Our first effort was to visit the otter colony made famous by the Ring of Bright Water.  We went to see the Otter Visitors Centre but it was not open.  (A said “we otter go to see the otters – they otter be open”).  At this stage we wanted to feed him to the otters.  In our determination to meet his every wish D drove down 8 miles of 1 lane narrow, windy road to the otter haven.  When we got there it was sprinkling and a very strong wind/gale was blowing; in addition there was a further 1km walk over stony ground to the otter hide where you might see an otter if you are lucky.

A gratefully put on his rain jacket and trudged off into the bushes. D and I sat snugly in the car watching a small ferry struggling to cross the narrow strait against a very strong current.  In the past cattle from Skye were taken to the mainland by swimming them across the strait at the turn of the tide.  A man in a rowing boat took 6 cows at a time – the tail of one cow would be tied to the neck of the one behind – apparently most survived but it would have been a major feat.  

On A’s return the count was:

•   Otters and seals sighted - nil;
•   Seagulls – a few;
•   Cormorants – several.  
•   Other sightseers -  4 adults, 1 child in a stroller and 1 man on a bike.

After D negotiated the narrow road back to the main road and dealt with several oncoming cars in narrow spots we felt that a visit to the Talisker distillery was called for.

When we got there we were somewhat surprised to find the place full of youthful foreign tourists - so we skipped the tour and just bought 2 bottles of whisky – 1 Talisker and 1 cask strength Caol ila from Islay.  

We had lunch at Dunvegan.  A was still in a brave, investigative mood and ordered the scotch pie.  I kept safely to carrot and coriander soup and D had haddock.  A described the thankfully small pie as consisting of those parts of a sheep not good enough to be made into haggis.  The contents looked like a piece of haggis.  D’s haddock was apparently good as he didn’t offer to share.

D and A went into Dunvegan Castle and came out bearing a grudge against the MacLeods.  The exterior of the castle is being refurbished and covered with scaffolding and only 4 or 5 interior rooms furnished in 19th C style were open.  Once again, I sat safely in the car.  Our car radio has been playing up since Saturday morning with bursts of static completely interrupting reception.  Whatever is wrong with the radio also affects the iPods so we bought a CD to play.

Reasons to dislike the MacLeods:

* they charge £7 to visit their castle even though the outside of the castle is covered with scaffolding so you can’t see it,
* the interior exhibits are 6 rooms of portraits of former clan chiefs and a video about how the clan chiefs handled the clearances of locals, but now would like contributions from MacLeod descendents to keep things going,
* They sold us a CD that we’ve so far played 15 times repeatedly

The landscape is stunning - steep hillsides with small streams running down, little waterfalls and the slopes just oozing water.  The island is more mountainous in the east and north western areas.  It is a very old volcanic landscape which was then severely glaciated and there are some very strange shaped hills left.

To keep D interested in his driving we took him around the northern section of the island on more narrow winding roads.  We stopped at Duntulum Castle where D and A got out and walked up a windswept hill to see the ruins.  

We then turned our heads for home and got back to our hotel by about 7pm.  A long but enjoyable day.  We tested D’s purchase of Caol Ila whisky and slept very well.

A video review of Caol ila and how to drink it

Monday 19 July

We packed up very efficiently and left the hotel by 9am.  Our first stop was at the Eilean Donon castle about 8 miles from Kyle of Lochalsh.  This time I sallied forth and was very glad that I did.  The castle is still lived in but we went through quite a lot of it.  There is a small museum setting out the history of the castle and its occupants (the McCraes).  Other rooms had attendants in them who were happy to answer questions.  In one of the inner courts there is a large unwieldy stone reputed to have been lifted onto a wall by an early chief (A could just rock it – D did not try to move it.)  When I asked one of the attendants about the stone his reply was: “Och, no doot he was very strong, but he lifted it in the time of giants and fairies”.  There was quite a lot of stairs but it was well worth my knees’ efforts.  With a lift or an escalator I would have been quite happy to live there.

One of the paintings was a graphic depiction of the death of Donald Gorm Mor Macdonald, 7th Baron of Sleat in a real David and Goliath battle.  In 1539 Macdonald sailed with 50 galleys and laid siege to Eilean Donan castle, rumoured to be only lightly garrisoned.  Although the castle was held by only two men: John Dubh Matheson (the constable) and a watchman, they bravely shut the gate. A young MacRae who was passing the castle at the time realised the danger and joined them.  The MacDonalds shot arrows through the windows and killed the constable, which left only the watchman and MacRae to defend the castle, and they were running short of arrows.  Duncan MacRae had only one arrow left and decided to keep it until he could use it to the best possible advantage.  Believing that victory was close, MacDonald called for a battering ram and approached the castle; now MacRae shot his last arrow at MacDonald and hit him in the foot.  Too impatient to wait for a doctor, MacDonald pulled out the arrow and cut an artery on one of the arrow's barbs. Blood poured out of the wound and wouldn't stop.  The MacDonalds carried their chief away and he died.  Desperate for revenge, the MacDonalds tried unsuccessfully to burn down the castle and then finally withdrew with the dead body.

And then on Loch Ness to see Nessie

[Ozzyjack]

Good Afternoon, Pen (or it will be by the time I send this).

I can't claim super will power.  I just have a lot of alternative tipples when I am tempted .

Looks like you are going to do a lot of travelling in September - Germany and the Peak District.

I guess what is reasonable travel time depends on the culture you are brought up in.  Southern Highlands to Les's Bailiwick - over 600 miles in under 11 hours is something we think nothing of doing twice a year. Now that I am geriatric, I admit I do it in two hops.  

Anyway enough of this trivia, let's have something serious.

Two Ronnies - Forgery

Two Ronnies Your Nuts M'Lord

I hope your Butler is better than the one in the second sketch, Pen

[Hobbit]

Good Morning Jack
I am happy to report that my Butler is considerably better than the one in Your Nuts M'Lord My head cook & bottle washer is not only a fantastic cook but very efficient
I am very much looking forward to my trips next month.
I have found your travels very entertaining
To continue with the Scottish theme I thought I would include a little soupcon of Billy Connolly.  The language is rather ripe - do hope you don't mind!
Potatoes Of The Night
Perhaps I should have posted a warning?
Have a very happy Saturday
Pen

[Ozzyjack]

Good Morning, Pen (at least it is for me and in a couple of minutes it will be for you).

I am glad all the workers at Bletchley Manor are up to scratch. I would have expected no less.

Billy Connolly is good.   You needn't have worried about my sensibilities as I am broad-minded but the choir boys I played Rugby with, and against, may have blushed.  .  I suspect Les may have heard some of the language before as well.

Something a little more refined for you:

A sociopath goes for a job interview (Tracey Ullman Show)

The Two Ronnies - Sultan's Harem

Don't get up to too much mischief over the weekend.