More or Les (was Bloody Plurals)

[Hobbit]

I've checked and re-checked it about 74 times   Fingers crossed I haven't made any mistakes!

[Ozzyjack]

Fingers crossed I haven't made any mistakes!

Hi Pen,

Lately, your record of errors per rebus is better than mine, Pen.

Once you get over the initial shock, the water temperature in the pool at the moment is quite pleasant. So I can’t use that as an excuse


Sheila was doing some window shopping and she saw a dress that she thought she must have.  She went in and asked the salesman, “May I try on that dress in the window, please”
“Certainly not, madam”, replied the salesman, “you’ll have to use the fitting room like everyone else”.

Blue and Ocker are having a few quiet beers in the Koala Tavern, Capalaba.  Ocker turns to Blue and says, 'You know, I'm sick going through life without an education and not being able to get a well-paid job. Tomorrow, I think I'll go to the Alexandra Hills TAFE and see what classes I can do'

Note for those outside Australia:

TAFE stands for Technical and Further Education. TAFE institutions are vocational education and training providers in Australia that offer a wide range of courses in various fields such as business, construction, nursing, plumbing, tourism, and more.
TAFE Queensland is one of the largest TAFE providers in Australia with over 50 locations across the state. Their Alexandra Hills campus offers a range of hands-on courses in aged care, automotive, business, child care, community services, construction, electrotechnology, fitness, general education, nursing, plumbing, and tourism and events

Blue says, “Go for it, Mate."

The next day, Ocker goes down to the TAFE.  The Careers Advisor, let’s call him Jack, gives him info on a number of courses including Logic.

'Logic?' Ocker says. 'What's that?'

Jack says, 'I'll give you an example. Do you own a whipper-snipper?'

'Yeah.'

'Then logically speaking, because you own a whipper-snipper, I think that you would have a yard.'

'That's true, I do have a yard.'

'I'm not done,' Jack says. 'Because you have a yard, I think logically that you would have a house.'

'Yes, I do have a house.'

'And because you have a house, I think that you might logically have a family.'

'Yes, I have a family.

'I'm not done yet. Because you have a family, then logically you must have a wife. And because you have a wife, then logic tells me you must be a heterosexual.'

'I am a heterosexual. That's amazing, you were able to find out all of that because I have a whipper-snipper.'

Excited to take the class now, Ocker shakes Jack’s hand and heads off to meet Blue at the Koala Tavern. He tells Blue he is going to study Logic.

'Logic? ' Blue says, 'What's that?'

Ocker says, 'I'll give you an example. Do you have a whipper-snipper?'

'No.'

'Then you're gay.'


I’ll borrow your subject and give you one of our funny expressions which might offer a reason for my performance lately.
1  #3  #9  5( #3 #2) 2 3 #3  7(#3   #4)

     

Conceptionally one line. Definite, indefinite article, and position preposition not pictured. Position essential.

Picture 1.   Anagram
Picture 2.   One word (4).  Make homophone.
Picture 4.   One word (4).  Discard last letter.
Picture 5.   One word (4).  Discard last 2 letters.
Picture 6.   One word (4).  Discard last letter.
Picture 7.   One word (6).  Use abbreviated title (3). Make homophone.

[blackrockrose]

and give you one of our funny expressions

Another good one Jack, but the non-Australians might need to know that it's an expression similar to the one about having flying mammals roosting in the campanile. Also that the last word, represented by pictures 6 and 7, is one that puzzled me when I first came to Oz 50 years ago, because it has nothing to do with saddling or exercising horses. Its meaning in Australia is simply the equivalent of an anagram of 'if led' in England. 

[Ozzyjack]

Hi Yvonne,

I will concede there are some of our readers who will be puzzled by Aussie variations of words they are familiar with.  On the other hand, I have had to cope with Beck: A word for a stream or brook, used mainly in northern England and Dark over Will’s mother’s way: A phrase meaning that the sky is cloudy or stormy in the distance, used in the Midlands.

So, although I take your point, I am not totally remorseful. 

Here is a list that I am waiting to be tried out on me. It would be interesting to see how many people are familiar with them.

* Ginnel: A narrow passage or alleyway, used in Yorkshire and Lancashire.
* Lush: A word meaning great, awesome, or attractive, used in Wales and the West Country
* Mardy: A word meaning moody, sulky, or grumpy, used in the East Midlands and Yorkshire
* Nesh: A word meaning cold, chilly, or weak, used in the Midlands and northern England.
* Scran: A word for food or a meal, used in northern England and Scotland.
* Teasy as an otter: A phrase meaning very irritable or bad-tempered, used in Cornwall.
* Cwtch: A Welsh word meaning a hug or a cuddle, but also a safe place or a cubbyhole. "Come here and give me a cwtch".
* Dreich: A Scottish word meaning dull, gloomy, or bleak, usually referring to the weather. "It’s a dreich day today".
* Faff: A word meaning to waste time or fuss over something trivial, used in various parts of England. "Stop faffing about and get on with it".
* Gobsmacked: A word meaning astonished or shocked, used in northern England and the Midlands. "I was gobsmacked when I saw the news"4.
* Hoosegow: A word for a prison or jail, used in Cornwall and Devon and the USA. It comes from the Spanish word juzgado, meaning court. "He’s been in the hoosegow for two years"5.
* Jammy: A word meaning lucky or fortunate, used in southern England and the Midlands. “You jammy sod, you won the lottery”.
* Keks: A word for trousers or pants, used in northern England and Scotland. It comes from the German word kecks, meaning underpants. “He ripped his keks on the fence”.
* Lurgy: A word for a cold or flu, used in various parts of Britain. It comes from a fictional disease invented by a radio comedy show in the 1950s. “I can’t come to work today, I’ve got the lurgy”.

I would be pleased to get any more to add to my list

[Linda]

Hi Jack

All those words apart from nesh, teasy and hoosegow are very familiar to me.  I do believe I mentioned the words lish, scrow and thrang to Alan many years ago and they are now classed as rare words.  I suspect you are both lish and thrang but rarely live in a scrow!! 

[blackrockrose]

Quote from 'I Asked For It' of Redlands:

I would be pleased to get any more to add to my list

* Broddle. To push something through a small opening using a stick or a tool. (Yorkshire)
* Wazak/Wazzock. Silly person, someone who's done something stupid or clumsy. (All over England say some dictionaries, but I feel it's mainly heard in the north.)
* Maungy. Whiny or bad-tempered – usually a child. (Yorkshire)
* Frame yourself. Try harder. (Yorkshire, probably more likely "Frame thi'sen".)
* Play pop. Get angry. (Yorkshire)
* Laik. Play (as opposed to work). (Yorkshire)
* Mardy. Moody. (Yorkshire)
* Mash. Brew tea. (Yorkshire)

[Hobbit]

Lately, your record of errors per rebus is better than mine, Pen.

Once you get over the initial shock, the water temperature in the pool at the moment is quite pleasant. So I can’t use that as an excuse

Blue and Ocker are having a few quiet beers in the Koala Tavern, Capalaba.

I’ll borrow your subject and give you one of our funny expressions which might offer a reason for my performance lately.

Hi Jack

That was a cracking post   A brilliant rebus and Blue made me roar with laughter 

I would take issue with my error record!  I've made more than you just lately.  Your marbles are in perfect working order

I would give anything right now to be floating in your pool.  It's stultifying and almost unbearable here today.  Not a breath of wind and the humidity is through the roof.  Thankfully this is the last very hot day.  They've promised thundery showers this afternoon but I'll believe it when it happens.  I'd rather hide in the cupboard under the stairs than sit here melting.

Like Linda (of course!) I'd heard of most of the words on your list.  I only knew wazzock and mardy on Yvonne's list. Surprising, considering I'm half a Yorkshireman

Here's another funny expression for you

#3 #4 #3 #2 8 (#5 + #3)


Please change the middle letter of picture one and you need the second half of picture two. Please use three consecutive letters from picture three.  Gent on the right in picture five.  You need the second, third and last letters of picture six (seven letters).  Two homophones and please pretend it's all on one line.

          

Kylie told me that her cousin Shane was very happy. He had proposed to his girlfriend Matilda and they were getting married.
Her parents helped in every way, we all encouraged him,  and Matilda?  She was a dream!
There was only one thing bothering Shane, and that one thing was her younger sister, Adeline.
His prospective sister-in-law was twenty years of age, wore tight mini skirts and low cut blouses. She would regularly bend down when quite near him and he got many a pleasant view of her underwear. It had to be deliberate. She never did it when she was near anyone else.
One day Adeline called Shane asked me to come over to check the wedding invitations. She was alone when he arrived. She whispered to him that soon he was to be married, and she had feelings and desires for him that she couldn't overcome.
Adeline told Shane that she wanted to make love just once before he got married and committed his life to Matilda. Shane was in total shock and couldn't say a word.
Adeline said, "I'm going upstairs to my bedroom, and if you want to make love to me just come up and get me." Shane was stunned & was frozen in shock as he watched her go up the stairs. When she reached the top she pulled down her panties and threw them down the stairs at him.
Shane stood there for a moment, then turned and went straight to the front door. He opened the door and stepped out of the house & walked straight towards his car.
His future father-in-law was standing outside. With tears in his eyes he hugged Shane and said, "We are very happy that you have passed our little test. We couldn't ask for a better man for our daughter. Welcome to the family."
The moral of this story is: Always keep your condoms in your car!

Looks like it's finally breaking

[Ozzyjack]

I do believe I mentioned the words lish, scrow and thrang to Alan many years ago and they are now classed as rare words.  I suspect you are both lish and thrang but rarely live in a scrow!! 

Hi Linda,

You have also been known to use nithered : nithered (comparative more nithered, superlative most nithered);(Scotland, Northern England) Very cold; shrivelled with cold. (from 17th c.).

The mention to Alan and his response  was very interesting and I have taken the liberty of quoting a precis.

I am gay thrang, keeping my mind lish and trying to ignore the scrow in the house!

Translated this means -

I am very busy, keeping my mind active/agile and trying to ignore the mess in the house!

(Note: Cumbrians use the word 'gay' a lot - confusing for outsiders but it simply means 'very')

Scrow is already an allowed word in Chihuahua. In the Shorter Oxford, in addition to the definition given, and some other meanings, there is also:

A state of confusion or agitation; a commotion or fuss. Sc. and north. E19.

Thrang is also in the list already. Although I couldn't find it in any general dictionary, a query to the Lexigame Research Department (Google) turns up several websites featuring "thrang = busy" in lists of dialect words for Cumbria, Scotland and Yorkshire. It appears on the List of Yorkshire dialect words of Old Norse origin, with alternate forms "throng" and "threng", and the definition "very busy, hard pressed, crowded out with work". This site also has notes on derivation, suggesting a connection with "throng" in its usual meaning of a crowd.

Lish is the only one of Linda's Cumbrian words that is not currently in our word list. References to this word are a bit harder to find, but the website Trouble at mill lists it as a Lancashire dialect word for "agile, fit", and a website of the North Craven Heritage Trust in Yorkshire has a 1933 journal extract that says of the village wheelwright, Old Joe Stout, "In his early days he was a lish, agile man."

So, after all that, we'd better add lish. It'll go in the next update, which will happen sometime when I'm not gay thrang.

Thanks for helping us broaden our vocabularies, Linda. And thanks for the Dorset verse, Technomc.

The Dorset Verse was

'Tis 'ere that skies be bluer,
'Tis 'ere that birds zing zweet,
'Tis 'ere that maids be truer
Than any maids you meet.
'Tis 'ere that earts br kinder
though words, mid be, but vew
'Twas 'ere that i did vind 'er
As zweet as marnin' dew.
An' bless 'ee, she be neater
than t'others iver be,
But ah! 'er smile is zweeter
When she d'look on me.
Zoo 'ere we'll bide for iver,
'Till we've a-growd real old.
And 'ere we'll rest tigether
Beneath the Darset mould.

Thanks for the compliment, Linda, but the days of Lish and Thrang, if ever true, are in the past.  Left to my habits, I would probably live in a scrow but I have a strict disciplinarian called June who insists things are kept shipshape.

[Ozzyjack]

Hi Pen,

Just a flying visit.  If it was 11 am, I would be off to have my elevenses.  But it’s 5 pm and I am off to have white wine and nibbles but I don’t know what to call it.

Back when Blue and Sheila had been married for about 10 years, Bob Whatsit, a market researcher for the Vaseline Company, knocked at the door and was greeted by Sheila with three small children running around at her feet.

"I'm doing some research for Vaseline. Have you ever used the product?", Bob said.

Sheila replied, "Yes. Blue and I use it all the time."

Bob asked, "What do you use it for?"

"We use it when we have sex," Sheila said.

Bob was a little taken aback. "Usually, people lie to me and say they use it on a child's bicycle chain or to help with a gate hinge. But, in fact, I know that most people do use it for sex. I admire you for your honesty. Since you've been so frank so far, can you tell me exactly HOW you use it for sex?"

Sheila replied, "I don't mind telling you at all. Blue and I put it on the doorknob and it keeps the kids out."

What were you thinking?

   

[Linda]

The mention to Alan and his response  was very interesting and I have taken the liberty of quoting a precis.

You have been gay thrang, Jack!

I wish our house was not in such a scrow but it's inevitable at the moment what with builders, plumbers, joiners and electricians crawling all over it.  I feel like I'm permanently covered in a layer of dust - not such a bad thing as it hides a multitude of sins!! 

Stormy weather here at present but strangely still very humid despite absolute torrent of rain yesterday afternoon.  Only a few rumbles of thunder and the odd flash of lightning so it was a bit disappointing.  Maybe today we'll get some 'proper' weather!   

[Hobbit]

Same here Linda! We had a bit of a thunderstorm yesterday afternoon but now it's sunny here again.  I ordered a Shark hoover and have just unpacked it.  It was in three boxes and had enough packaging to sink a battleship   I suppose it was necessary but I'm very hot and sweaty now   Wish I'd done it before I got in the shower!

I'm out to lunch with Jen who is one of my cricketing cronies   She's taken early retirement and finished work this week.

Here's hoping you have easy access to the facilities this morning

[Hobbit]

Just a flying visit.  If it was 11 am, I would be off to have my elevenses.  But it’s 5 pm and I am off to have white wine and nibbles but I don’t know what to call it.

Back when Blue and Sheila had been married for about 10 years, Bob Whatsit, a market researcher for the Vaseline Company, knocked at the door and was greeted by Sheila with three small children running around at her feet.

Hi Jack

A flying visit from me also.  I think you should probably call it fiveses   I'm off to the Old Beams at Shenley Lodge for lunch with my friend Jen in a while   Got a few chores to do in the meantime.

Blue and Sheila cracked me up!  Hilarious   Apparently if you put Vaseline the post of your bird feeder it stops the squirrels pinching the bird's food

[Linda]

I ordered a Shark hoover and have just unpacked it.

Let me know what you think of it Pen as our Dyson is on its last legs and needs to be replaced.

Have a lovely lunch and don't worry about me and my 'facilities' as I have full access today and am making the most of it.  Got a delivery from Victoria Plumbing arriving this afternoon - posh, eh?!  It's only a rack type thing to hold toiletries in shower so nothing to get too excited about but even so I do love getting parcels, despite the unnecessary packing! 

Weather calm, dull and warm today - no sign of a good old thunderstorm yet.   

[Hobbit]

Let me know what you think of it Pen as our Dyson is on its last legs and needs to be replaced.

Have a lovely lunch and don't worry about me and my 'facilities' as I have full access today and am making the most of it.  Got a delivery from Victoria Plumbing arriving this afternoon - posh, eh?! 

Weather calm, dull and warm today - no sign of a good old thunderstorm yet.   

Will do Linda.  Zoe found a deal on Martin's Money and I got it for £199. I probably wont be trying it out for a few days.  Just got to find a home for my old Henry.  Nowt wrong with it.  It's just a bit heavy and cumbersome lugging it up and down stairs.  My neighbour across the road told me last week that she got a Shark to replace her Dyson and said she wouldn't be without it now.

I always had my suspicions that you were a bit posh 

     

Lunch was nice but could have been better.  I ordered a toasted cheese and ham sarnie.  I was expecting a lovely gooey cheesy mess! Instead it was sourdough bread which had been toasted and then made into a sarnie.  Not in my view a proper 'toastie'.  But the company was great so I've no complaints.

[Linda]

Disappointing sarnie is very disappointing!  I don't mind sourdough but it's not toasted sarnie material.  I seem to think that M & S do sourdough toasties and they're ok but would be better with thick white bread and a very gooey centre.

I feel v. posh this afternoon after my Victoria Plumbing shower rack arrived!  I'm channelling my inner Hyacinth and just wishing that the delivery van had been Victoria Plumbing and not DPD in the hope that the neighbours would see how posh I am!! 

Still no thunder ...