Howdi doody caro,
Welcome to the forum...

Welcome 2 tanners...

I hope you have fun reading and joining in...

Technomc

Hello and welcome to the GUEST who was registering an account to join the forum...

Hope you have a good laugh and join in....

Must dash now...but didn't want to think you were being ignored...

Barbie's letter to Santa
Dear Santa,

Listen you fat little troll, I've been helping you out every year, playing at being the perfect Christmas present, wearing skimpy bathing
suits in frigid weather, and drowning in fake tea from too many tea parties. I hate to break it to you Santa, but it is DEFINITELY pay back
time!!

There had better be some changes around here this Christmas, or I'm gonna call for a nationwide meltdown (and trust me, you don't want to be around to smell it!) So, here's my holiday wish list for this year, Santa.

1. A nice, comfy pair of sweat pants and a frumpy, oversized sweatshirt. I'm sick of looking like a hooker. How much smaller are
these bathing suits gonna get? Do you have any idea what it feels like to have nylon and velcro up your butt?

2. Real underwear that can be pulled on and off. Preferably white. What bonehead at Mattel decided to be cheap and mold imitation underwear to my skin? It looks like cellulite!!!

3. A REAL man....maybe G.I.Joe. Hell, I'd take Tickle-Me-Elmo over that wimped out excuse for a boy-toy Ken. And what's with the earring
anyway? If I'm going to have to suffer with him, for christ's sakes, make us anatomically correct.

4. Arms that actually bend so I can push the aforementioned Ken-wimp away once he is anatomically correct.

5. Breast reduction surgery. I don't care whose arm you have to twist, just do it!!

6. A jog-bra. To wear until I get the surgery.

7. A new career. Pet doctor and school teacher just don't cut it. How about a systems analyst? Or better yet, a public relations senior account exec!!

8. A new, more 90's persona. Maybe a "PMS Barbie", complete with a miniature container of chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream and a bag of chips; "Animal Rights Barbie", with my very own paint gun, fitted with fake fur coat, bottle of spray blood and handcuffs; or "Stop
Smoking Barbie", sporting a Nicotrol patch and equipped with several packs of gum.

9. No more McDonald's endorsements. The grease is wrecking my vinyl.

10. mattel stock options. It's been 37 years-I think I deserve it!

Okay Santa, that's it. considering my valuable contribution to society, I don't think these requests are out of line. If you disagree, then you can find yourself a new bitch for next Christmas. It's that simple.

Yours truly,
Barbie

I am loving this story...it certainly made me laugh out loud...

From The London Times: A Well-Planned Retirement 
A perfect example of government mismanagement.   

           

Outside England 's Bristol Zoo there is a parking lot for 150 cars and 8 buses. For 25 years,it's parking fees were managed by a very pleasant attendant. The fees were for cars (£1.40),for buses (about £7).
Then, one day, after 25 solid years of never missing a day of work, he just didn't show up; so the Zoo Management called the City Council and asked it to send them another parking agent.
 
The Council did some research and replied that the parking lot was the Zoo's own responsibility.

The Zoo advised the Council that the attendant was a City employee.

The City Council responded that the lot attendant had never been on the City payroll.
 
Meanwhile, sitting in his villa somewhere on the coast of Spain or France or Italy ...  is a man who'd apparently had a ticket machine installed completely on his own and then had simply begun to show up every day, commencing to collect and keep the parking fees, estimated at about £560 per day -- for 25 years.
 
Assuming 7 days a week, this amounts to just over 7 million pounds ... and no one even knows his name.
 

If someone is nosey...could you not say that they nosied around my belongings..i certainly have used the word in that context?

Hi all,
i just thought i would let you all know that today there was another meeting of Chi forumates.
Bobbi has been in the UK for a week or so, and today i went to London and met up with her, and her lovely daughters at Camdon Lock Market.
She is heading back to new Zealand tomorrow [Sunday].

It was amazing to meet her, and we got on like family...we did take photos, so i will try and get them on here as soon as i can.

So Alan...this site really does bring us forumates together, literally and literally.....thanks..

So who will it be next???

Hello Supamatt..

I had a quick check to see if any other forumate had welcomed you aboard...but it seems not!!  How very remiss, and slaps will be forthcoming..

So Welcome aboard...