I thought everyone could use a good larf today, so here goes!!
I get daily emails from Rex Barker's www.jokeoftheday.com. Here's a sampling of today's gems:
How many online forum group members does it take to change a lightbulb?
1 to change the light bulb and to post that the light bulb has been changed.
14 to share similar experiences of changing light bulbs and how the light bulb could have been changed differently.
7 to caution about the dangers of changing light bulbs.
27 to point out spelling/grammar errors in posts about changing light bulbs.
6 to argue over whether it's "lightbulb" or "light bulb"...another 6 to condemn those 6 as anal-retentive
2 industry professionals to inform the group that the proper term is "lamp".
15 know-it-alls who claim *they* were in the industry, and that "light bulb" is perfectly correct.
109 to post that this group is not about light bulbs and to please take this discussion to a lightbulb group
306 to debate which method of changing light bulbs is superior, where to buy the best light bulbs, what brand of light bulbs work best for this technique, and what brands are faulty.
27 to post URL's where one can see examples of different light bulbs.
33 to link all posts to date, quote them in their entirety including all headers and signatures, and add "Me too".
12 to post to the group that they will no longer post because they cannot handle the light bulb controversy.
4 to say "didn't we go through this already a short time ago?"
1 forum lurker to respond to the original post 6 months from now and start it all over again....
From this Morning's Sydney Morning Herald
“Hello! Is this Gordon's Pizza?”
“No sir, it's Google Pizza – we bought Gordon’s Pizza last month. Do you want your usual, sir?”
“My usual? You know me?”
“According to our caller ID data, the last 12 times you called you ordered an extra-large pizza with cheese, sausage, pepperoni, mushrooms on a thick crust.”
“OK! That’s what I want.”
“May I suggest that this time you order a pizza with ricotta, arugula, sun-dried tomatoes, and olives on a whole-wheat gluten-free thin crust?”
“No, you may not! I don't like vegetables.”
“Your cholesterol needs help, sir.”
“How the hell do you know?”
“We cross-referenced your mobile with your medical records, and have the result of your blood tests for the last seven years.”
“Listen, I don't want your vegetable pizza, and I take medication for my cholesterol!
“Excuse me sir, but you don't take your medication regularly. Our database indicates that you only filled a prescription for 30 cholesterol tablets once, at Soul Pharmacy, four months ago.
“I bought the rest at another pharmacy.”
“Not according to your credit card statement.”
“I paid in cash.”
“Sir, you didn't withdraw enough cash according to your bank statement.”
“I have other sources of cash.”
“That doesn’t show on your last tax return, unless you bought them using an undeclared income source, which is against the law.”
“WHAT THE HELL?! Goodbye, I'm sick of Google, Facebook, Twitter, and all this crap. I'm moving to an island without internet, cable TV, mobiles and jerks watching and spying on me.
“I understand sir, but you need to renew your passport first. It expired six weeks ago.”